Creative Cussing

[foxfroggy]

Since I teach, I have to "police" language. Sometimes we come up with obscure ways to say familiar unacceptable phrases-you know, of the "have intercourse with yourself" ilk.

Any favorite euphemisms for nasty ole cussing?

Pat
Gol durn it.

[purplewiz]

I still use one that my seventh grade science teacher used:

son of a lefthanded screwdriver

instead of the usual one involving a canine of the female ilk.

[Howard_U]

I have no idea where this came from, but I often use "son of a seasick seahorse!" It feels good to say and is fit for mixed company.

I always say, "Oh fiddlesticks!!!"

My coworkers think it's funny. Somehow, those words don't seem quite adequate enough for some of the stuff we've been putting up with lately!

[cyndilouwhoo]

Other than good ol' "O Bleep", "Jeeeeezus-Loooouizus" is a fave.

I am also taking a liking to the cuss word used in the movie Spykids: "Oh Shi...take Mushrooms".

It cracks me up every time I hear it!

Cyndi

Who loves colorful cusswords.

[sibhreach]

Son of a goat
Son of a goat on a stick (worse than the first)

(basically "....on a stick" is normal Cairlí-speak for when I'm upset )

Bah! Mother lovin' mushrooms! (I have no idea how I morphed this into a cuss - I love mushrooms!!!)


A little rougher

Fornicate with water fowl

Up ya bum (thanks to the fiancé for this one)

When I'm really ing, then I start swearing in Gaeilge (I have to think harder about this one, which is why I choose it - to calm myself down instead of reacting)...when I get angrier, I swear in Tagalog/Filipino.

When I'm any angrier than that?

[Dani257]

My brother's favorite is 'Mother Father Chinese Dentist"

[soxfan[$]]

I say "Merde" and "fudge" every so often.

Ailsa
who might start using "gwizflap"

[MrsNormanMaine[$]]

"Scrunt" is my favorite cuss word. It's complete nonsense but sounds like it should be something horribly nasty.

MNM

[sibhreach]

Originally posted by MrsNormanMaine
"Scrunt" is my favorite cuss word. It's complete nonsense but sounds like it should be something horribly nasty.

MNM

Reminds me of Recess with TJ inventing the curse-word "whomps".

I use this word, myself.

[AshleyA[$]]

There are quite a few terms I use amongst the "real" cuss words. Some of them include "carn sarn digit" courtesy of a Yosemite Sam screen saver I had on my computer years ago as well as "pooty boot nuggets" (this can also be used as an adjective in the form of "pooty boot nuggetty") and "buckets". As far as the former phrase, I haven't the foggiest notion where it originated but it is a creation of my very own.

Ashley

[poseidon]

I reserve the right to call certain individuals a witch with a capital B. I also try to say, "Fudgefarts" instead of another word that begins with the letter F or S.

[Flamepillar]

Well, on the occasions that I don't actually use the real words..lol, I have a few names that I reserve for the occasions that they so choose to surface in my mind...

fart smash
poop sniff
butt nugget
butt munch
fart knocker

Those ones that consist of a noun followed by a verb are the funniest, I don't know why.

OH yeah! Just thought of a couple more... butt wipe, and one that my sister and I use on a regular basis, but mostly on each other when we're goofing off, "fart swipe". Which is funny because nobody else knows if it's "fart swipe" or "farts wipe". Either way, it is the absolute epitome of stupidity.

[erik_kosberg]

Much as I might try to come up with something to top your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries, I doubt that I’d succeed.

[Redlass]

It's not very creative, but when I've just banged my toe into the wall or dropped something on my face or managed to mangle myself in some other way, I usually respond with several, "cuss, cuss, cuss, cuss"es.

Three rules I live with:

1) Never cuss in any e-mail. ABC/Disney don't like that.

2) Never cuss anywhere I can be heard on-air. When I am working on a weather system during the news, I bite my tongue and ride it out.

3) Never cuss over the two-way radios.

Everything else is fair game. I cuss only because my extended profanities and chained-together metaphors blow right past the simple-brains of my torment.

[murasaki]

Cussing is second nature to most military personnel and I, rather shamefacedly, must admit that I swear like a...well, a soldier. Among my good female friends (some military and some not), calling each other b*tch is a term of endearment.

However, I am trying to clean up my act since I'm back in academia, and attempting to swear in other languages. Yes, I'm saying the same things, but it's in other languages without the offensive connotation to most people. Forgive the spellings but shieza (?) and merde are my current favorites, closely followed by the same word in Japanese, kuso.

I had a teacher once who always said, "Son of sea biscuit" which I still think is cute.

--naomi

[poseidon]

Or you could take up cussing in Klingon. While I'm not familiar with the language, nerdy Trekkies* seem to enjoy it.

*"Trekkies" is a term describing those who live, eat, drink and sleep Star Trek. They wear the uniforms and take the time to pick up stupid alien languages, such as Klingon. They argue about crap like "How many of those alien women did Jimmy Kirk really shag?" and "What happened in Episode #32, Scene 2 of The Original Series, and want to argue Star Trek science facts like they are real science facts. "Trekkers" on the other hand, are simply fans of the show and are normal human beings.

[foxfroggy]

Jeff, anyone you have to explain about trekkies and trekkers just won't get it. That's the trouble with tribbles...

Monty Python is yet another marvelous source. The line is less effective when speaking to actual offspring of hamsters.

You know, I forgot all about gwizflap and I invented it. Gwizflap! Snelfrockey!*

Pat


("snelfrockey" courtesy of the late Robert Heinlein- Podkayne of Mars.")

[foxfroggy]

And now I'm curious- is the one non-cusser in the poll a saint or a liar?

Pat

[Dani257]

I couldn't remember this before, but sometimes I use the Fred Flintstone curse. My brother and I were watching The Flintsones one day, and it sounded like he said 'crescent-dada" So, I might say that when I'm mad

[aggiebrett]

Using G-rated euphemisms for standard cuss words strikes me as being about as silly as alcohol-free beer or decaffeinated coffee. I mean, WHAT'S THE POINT?

If you're gonna cuss, then cuss, and if you're not (can't/won't/shouldn't), then don't. There's few things sadder than watching someone cuss badly.

Remember, kids-- a true professional always uses the right tool for the right job.
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.
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B (who has been known to fling a naughty word or twelve when need be... and often when not)

[roymeo]

I had a roommate once who said he envied me for being able to come up with creative insults and the like.

I told him he could go have an extended sexual encounter with an enraged family of porcupines in return.

roymeo

[jenninca]

Originally posted by foxfroggy
And now I'm curious- is the one non-cusser in the poll a saint or a liar?

Pat

That would be me. I definitely wouldn't say I'm a saint, but I don't ever really cuss. Don't know how I managed that!



Cindy