Rude responses to comments?

[hadassahchana[$]]

I am feeling disgruntled. Ok, maybe not that, but ...how about surly and uncooperative? Pouty, perhaps?

A couple of months ago, I was on a big campaign to get people to leave helpful/kind comments when rating. Now, however, after getting many extremely rude responses, I am beginning to wonder why the comments boxes are even provided!

I have gotten many nasty comments from newbies to the tune of, "Well, if you don't like the way I write, go read something else!". I even changed my 15 word blurb, a line from 'The Magic Flute', just because I was tired of being called a Nazi.


Or, in a couple of cases, comments have been left (by me as well as others) gently correcting glaring mistakes in a review. The writer goes, corrects the mistake and then takes on the person leaving the comment, making it seem like the commentor has lost his/her mind, which is all that subsequent readers will see, as the review has been edited.

What's wrong with people, anyway??? (and I don';t know if I mean the rude people who respond poorly to criticism, or the idiots like me who take the time to try and be helpful...)


Cindy, feeling a rant coming on

[lernerj]

cindy--

i hear you; i try to leave helpful comments whenever i read a review by a newbie, but a few times i have received some really rude responses--including "i am a professional, published writer, and how dare you tell me to change what i've written?" never mind that different audiences want different kinds of information, and any real writer researchers her/his audience before writing for it!

but i still think it's worthwhile for the benefit of epinions to leave these comments, because surely at least some people benefit from it. i know i benefitted from kind words from gracef and nealgoodall when i first joined.

keep your chin up!

jennifer

[nicholmere]

Comments are just so tricky.

I never leave the "re-write and I'll re-rate" line anymore. So many people interpret that as a directive that they must write better for ME, when that is far from my intent. I just stick with my "might be helpful if you included A, B, and C".

I've got it all - I get flack for NH/SH without comments, I get flack for not giving a NH/SH but leaving a comment, I get flack for offering suggestions with my NH/SH, I get flack for not leaving comments with my VHs, I get flack for leaving comments on VH reviews. I don't know what's more upsetting, leaving a comment with NH and getting revenge rated, or leaving a comment with a VH and getting a slap in the face for joining in. Got flack?

Rant on Cindy - EA is a great place for venting (no names of course) where others share the same frustration.

Bottom line: (wow, a bottom that line is really at the bottom of my post - what a concept!) Write when, where, and whatever you feel will make your epinions' life enjoyable. If you aren't having fun then take a break from rating and commenting. When I'm depressed by the flack I find myself backing out without a comment or rating. It keeps me sane, and then in a day or two I'm ready for more fun - There is always really, really good stuff out there still to read.


Edited because it just didn't sound right.

That's the problem with comments. Some people like them and pay attention to them. (I'm so proud of you, Jennifer!) Some people take them as a personal offense.

I still leave comments, though. If 1 in 50 take my advice and go on to become responsible advisors, then it's worth it.

Just don't expect to win any popularity contests!

[conradd]

Originally posted by hadassahchana
Or, in a couple of cases, comments have been left (by me as well as others) gently correcting glaring mistakes in a review. The writer goes, corrects the mistake and then takes on the person leaving the comment, making it seem like the commentor has lost his/her mind, which is all that subsequent readers will see, as the review has been edited.

Cindy, my sympathies. After having been burned a few times myself, I've started quoting from the original review in my comment. something like: When you said "(insert glaring error here)", did you mean "(insert gentle correction here)?" Honestly, it's the only way with a handful of writers. While most Epinion members will accept a quiet heads up (I've gotten a couple myself), there are some who can't accept a friendly critique. And in the scenario you cited, that person would quickly make it onto my block list for unethical conduct.

Deb

[hadassahchana[$]]

. After having been burned a few times myself, I've started quoting from the original review in my comment. something like: When you said "(insert glaring error here)", did you mean "(insert gentle correction here)?"

Deb, that's a great idea! I have now adopted this as my new policy!

And Grace, you're right- no popularity contests by doing that. However, I like it!

Cindy

[nicholmere]

I like to use quotes too in both my VH and NH comments. It helps me remember what I'm talking about. It would be nice if the comment feature showed a display of the review, similar to EA's feature of replying while still being able to scroll down and see the rest of the post.

[KristenNC]

Of course - even when you directly quote the epinion, if the bozo-writer goes back and changes it and then plays (?) dumb - you still look like an idiot.

Okay, I know I'm not on epinions anymore, so I shouldn't leave my $0.02, but I will.

Leave the comments and to hell with the half-wits who actually act offended when you tactfully point out that they messed up. I say that with a straight face, because at least 10 of my 120 reviews have a comment that says something like....

"Hi Kristen,

Thanks for leaving such a long and detailed review, but I noticed that you spelled the word "the" wrong several times. Oh and I think the sky may be blue, rather than orange as you stated. And you also might want to re-read the 23rd paragraph because you repeated yourself 4 times. Other than that, great review!"

To which I reply with a blushing thanks and a quick edit. Thank God for editors, professional and otherwise.

Mistakes certainly don't mean that you aren't a talented, published writer. In fact, a professional writer is so USED to criticisms that I'd be willing to bet that anyone who doesn't respond graciously to criticism is as likely as my dog to have been published.

I've been on the recieving end of bashing a time or ten because I had an issue with how factual a review was. In every single case, the person offended eventually showed clearly their true colors and/or talent... and I tried to stick to the high road. State your case, present your 'evidence' then bow out. If they really are John Irving, then they could crush me like a bug. Until then, why worry?

But hey - that's just my opinion.

Kristen

(Who left comments.)

[cyndilouwhoo]

My sympathies Cindy,

And here's my comment for the record:

What Kristen said...

Some folks just don't take kindly to criticism of any kind--and the anonymity of the keyboard and computer screen helps them to work up the courage to do an anonymous (and safe) tap dance on a commenter's head.

Some people just enjoy getting confrontational without the consequences.

I got into a pi**ing contest with a writer over what I thought was a gentle and non-confrontational comment I left on a review. I got a rude reply and nuttily enough, felt I had to defend myself in print. I'm not sure who looked stupider--me or the writer.

Now I just leave my comment and move on. It's better for my mental health.

Cyndi

[amykhar]

Personally, I try to never make corrections in the comment section if the person's email address is available. It's an old habit from the days when comments couldn't be deleted.

However, I still think email is the best way for me to handle typos, errors, and glitches because when it is pointed out in private the writer either thanks me graciously and corrects it or ignores me totally. However, they seldom are rude or obnoxious because they weren't "confronted" in public where they have to save face.



And don't get me started on some of the "published authors" on Epinions. Some of them simply don't have the talent to match their egos. Romance writers do better than some of these clowns who can't tell a homonym from a harmonica.

[Joubert[$]]

I used to do the same thing, Amy, but then there was a movement that if a lower than expected (read: VH+) rating was left without a comment, others would launch a "You must leave comments" campaign. Sort of a no-win, that makes one understand why some opt to hide their ratings or WOT.

[Redlass]

Mistakes certainly don't mean that you aren't a talented, published writer. In fact, a professional writer is so USED to criticisms that I'd be willing to bet that anyone who doesn't respond graciously to criticism is as likely as my dog to have been published.

Hear, hear!! There is yet a writer to be born who can write perfect prose the first time and every time. That's why there are editors.

Comments are a funny thing and I think egos sometimes get in the way of responding appropriately to them.

When I write something for work, I have a strict policy that I follow when I get feedback or receive the first set of edits on my work. I always close my door and go through the comments where no one can see me. Invariably, I argue and fuss over each one, complaining that the editor just can't see what I'm trying to say. Then I make nearly every change suggested, read it again, and finally agree that the editor was correct. So then I can go and thank the editor for the splendid job he or she did. But I know that my ego will get in the way during the first reading, so I just let it all out in private so that the only person who has to know that I was wrong in my judgement is me.

It would be a good rule for responding to comments as well!