It's almost "official" now...

[poseidon]

Well folks, it's almost "official" now. The only thing waiting is telling my parents and going out to Wisconsin to ask her dad's permission...

Yesterday I bought the engagement ring and wedding band. Now it seems all very real all the sudden... when we were ring shopping, wedding dress shopping, tux shopping and looking at silk flowers, it was all fun and a neat little fantasy.

But handing over the credit card (which I do pay off every month! ) and actually signing on the line promising to pay the cost is REALLY making this all very real!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not getting cold feet or regretting the decision. I love it and actually can't wait. It just seems very real now, and it has a bit of a sobering effect.

Actually there's a third step... I've not decided the right venue for actually doing the official getting down on one knee and proposing...

Wow.

[Redlass]

Wait a minute--if you guys have already set the date and made plans to inform both sets of 'rents...hasn't a proposal already happened?

[poseidon]

Well yeah but it's not really an official proposal until I present the ring.

[jnbmoore]

I didn't get my ring until after pre-engagement counseling and six out of the eight pre-marital counseling sessions.

It was during dinner with his boss and wife at a Mexican resteraunt in Taipei.

I've read about and like the ring in the cracker jack box. I would have liked that.


Bridgette

[erik_kosberg]

In the EA chat room.

[hadassahchana[$]]

Jeff,

What an exciting time in your life. Wherever you choose, I hope that you are both very happy.

Cindy

[theeye]

Well, let's see. Here's how it went for us:

Me: We're going to get married aren't we?
Him: Yes, I guess we are.
His mother (repeatedly over the next several months): What do you mean you're engaged? Where's the ring?


You know, I don't think you want my advice.

I'm sure that whatever you settle on will be just perfect.

[pageclot[$]]

The most dramatic proposal I ever personally witnessed was during the final round of a debating tournament in Hart House at U of Toronto. The prospective groom was making a speech from the floor in front of 200 people, interrupted himself, caught a box tossed by his future brother in law, dropped to one knee in front of his future bride, and said possibly the most romantic thing I've ever heard. I can't remember a word, but I know it was the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

Not very many dry eyes in the house that day.

She said yes.

I proposed to my wife while "Spanish Bombs" by The Clash played softly in the background.

p

[wivabef]

My proposal went like this:

Me: (looking around a once clutterless room now filled with computer equipment) We need to talk.
He: Not in front of the Amiga.
Me: Look, I love Railroad Tycoon, but its time you and Sid admit that you have slyly moved into my apartment.
He: The Apple IIe is still at my apartment...
Me: I was really serious about us not living together until we have made a commitment. I don't want to pressure you, but you have to respect that decision, and you, Amiga and the AT have to relocate back to your apartment.
He: (looking around at his beloved equipment happily settled into my far bigger apartment with more electrical outlets) Well, I was going to wait until Christmas to propose, but ... will you marry me?
Me: Okay.
He: Great. I'll go get the Apple.



Okay, a little creative license involved, but not that far from the truth. Romance in our house has a very unconventional meaning. We send e-mails to each other while the other is on-line.

Congrats, Jeff. I went with the Jumbotron, probably to compensate for my quiet, casual engagement.

[cristina1]

The best proposal I have seen was at a friend's college graduation party. Her boyfriend wrapped himself up in a big box. They wheeled him out to her in front of about 40 people. When she took the top off the box, he stood up with a dozen roses in one hand and the ring box in the other. It was beautiful.

My own proposal, on the other hand, was awful. The night my husband gave me the ring, I was pissed at him for some reason (cant remember why now so it must not have been all too important) and he pretty much told me to sit down and shut up because he wanted to talk to me......LOL. I was then doubly pissed that he had the nerve to talk to me that way.....boy did I feel stupid afterward! LOL

[Mrsfitts]

For my 12th anniversary my husband and I are parked at a McDonalds sorting out our order (we ate on the road a lot during the 8 years we commuted 180 miles/day together) and as he handed me my fries, he also handed me a 12-diamond anniversary band.

Now to show he doesn't fall into a rut, for my 15th anniversary he rented an ocean view room in Aptos, CA and had champagne & roses delivered before we arrived, then he handed me a matching 12-diamond anniversary band which is now soldered to the other one. (by then we no longer commuted 180 miles/day)

[jo.com]

Jeff that is so nice. I never got a ring or proposal from hubby #2..we just sort of decided then got married with wedding bands. She is very lucky - I think that is really sweet of you!

I'll go vote.

[pluckyduck]

I'm short two proposals in my life.

Hrummph. Both were mutually agreed upon "yeah, I guess we're doing this" kinds of conversations over a period of time.

Sigh.

Well, it looks fun in the movies. Good luck!!!!

Andrea

[kurt_messick]

A problem I will never have.

Congratulations, Jeff -- I'm sure wherever you choose, it will be memorable.

[nicholmere]

Originally posted by wivabef
My proposal went like this:
....He: Great. I'll go get the Apple....

I love it!

Sounds just like my hubby. He managed to move into my new apartment even before I did. I was still in Virginia when I took over the lease for my new apartment in Toronto. For two days I tried to call my boyfriend/hubby at his place, but no answer. Turns out he was hanging out at my place, with no furniture and no heat, just so he could do his laundry (for free). By the time we made it official he already had more of his stuff in my apartment than I'd even bothered to unpack of my own.


Jeff,
From all the stories here I think you can tell, it doesn't really matter where/when because you'll always remember the moment, no matter how big or small an event it was. Good luck.

[Redlass]

Oops! I've been married almost nine years and I still don't have an engagement ring. I sort of have a wedding ring, but it was a cheap one I bought ($69) with the idea that he would buy me one later. I'm still waiting. And since I've gained lots of weight since we married, I can't wear that ring anyway.

We had been arguing for about an hour before Rick proposed to me. We had stopped arguing because we'd arrived at a rather nice restaurant that I was reviewing for the newspaper I worked at. While we were waiting for our food, he got down on one knee and asked me if I'd marry him. A few minutes later, the waitress (who had started to deliver our appetizers when he was on his knee proposing and had quickly returned to the kitchen) brought out a split of champagne on the house. She was all teary-eyed saying no one had ever proposed at one of her tables. She then pulled the champagne back and looked at me suspiciously, "You did say yes, didn't you?"

We got married three weeks later.

[Dani257]

So, Jeff, did you unofficially propose before, or was it a mutual agreement sort of thing? Are you actually going to pop the question, or just present the ring as a more solid token of the question that was already poppped? Am I being too nosy?

As for where, I really don't know. Absolutely no experience in that area. I do have some wild imaginings, though

[jaxmom28]

My husband made reservations at out favorite local family Italian restaraunt (family owned and operated is rare in my neck of the woods). We sat in the center of the room and were serenaded most of the night by their wandering accordion pplayer (much more romantic than it sounds here). After 3 courses, my husband excused himself while we awaited desert. He eventually returned, skin clammy, and asked me to marry him.

I was surprised, elated, humbled, tearful, shocked, ecstatic...

I said, "When a man proposes to a woman he should be down on one knee."

He said, "Really?"

I nodded.

Down on one knee he went, middle of a crowded restaraunt, and asked me to do him the honor of being his wife.

He made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

Whatever venue you choose, whatever words your use, your future wife will remember, and boast, for the rest of her life. The mounatain top sounds lovely, but, I promise you, the living room will be just as lovely if only you ask the question and she consents.

Good luck to you both, and congratulations.

[poseidon]

Originally posted by Dani257
So, Jeff, did you unofficially propose before, or was it a mutual agreement sort of thing? Are you actually going to pop the question, or just present the ring as a more solid token of the question that was already poppped? Am I being too nosy?

As for where, I really don't know. Absolutely no experience in that area. I do have some wild imaginings, though

It's a mutally agreed upon sort of thing. But, as a traditionalist (Heck, I'm asking her dad for permission), I will be getting down on one knee and asking her properly, ring in hand.

Jeff

[pluckyduck]

Wait a second.

I'm short three proposals.

I forgot. I was engaged in my early 20's. We ended up calling it off before we got married, but he never proposed either.

That's three, count 'em three:

"So, getting married, that's a good idea, yeah?"

"Um, yeah. I thought that was what we were going to do, right?"

"Right."

"Okay, cool."

I think I'm seeing a pattern here.



Jeff -

A beautiful and memorable proposal/engagement ring is truly wonderful. It's nice to be so thoughtful and so loving.

The hard part, though, is the marriage, not the wedding, the marriage. You hear things like "It takes lots of work every single day" all the time, but, believe me, that's no exaggeration. Best thing you will ever do (my opinion), including having children, but hardest thing you will ever do, including raising children.

Best wishes for you both!

Andrea

[poseidon]

I know, it takes a lot of compromising. I've been praciticing already, so it should be okay. Here's a recent (and true) example of the compromise:

She: You know, you really can't substitute cowboy boots for dress shoes all the time.

Me: Sure I can. I've been doing it for 15 years. It works just fine.

She: No, you can't. You should wear dress shoes.

Me: I don't have dress shoes. I don't have dress socks. I hate dress shoes.

She: I like them. You need to get some and start wearing them. I'll help you pick some nice ones out.

About thirty minutes later, we were off to DSW Shoe Warehouse and I am now the semi-proud owner of dress shoes.

See? Compromise!

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

Not to take away from the posts above about the need for compromise and communication in marriage (very very very true!), but you really do need a nice memorable proposal.

My hubby and I were among those who went from "if we get married" to "when we get married" in conversations without a formal proposal at any time. We were at the dentist for our pre-wedding complimentary teeth cleaning (for pearly whites in photos) and I was making our next apppointment when the hygenist asked me how hubby proposed. When I told her he really didn't, she went back and dragged poor Phil from his chair and had him propose in the waiting room. There he was, on one knee, spit bib around his neck, and his romantic words to me were, "OK, so we've been together for a few years now, let's make it legal."

Good thing I have a good sense of humor.

PS If you want to see a picture of this momenteous occasion, visit Dr. Alan Spector's Family Dentistry office on Bainbridge Ave in the Bronx. It's on his wall next to the "we cater to cowards" poster.