Locked thread

[AuntieEmma[$]]

So I see the "Hashing it out with Jeff" thread has been locked.

I was trying to do something here, and have been cut off in the middle.

Jeff, for over a year, has been following me all around the board, calling me an @sshole, etc. Whenever someone tells him to cool down, he says, no he can't cool down, because I had made some remarks last year that he's still angry about, and he'll never cool down until he gets an explanation.

I declined to explain, he didn't cool down, and kept on following me around, calling me names.

I realized it's never going to end unless things are brought to a head.

I wanted to explain things from my perspective -- not to prove I was right, but to put everything on the table, to give Jeff a chance to say, no Auntie, you were wrong about this, that, and the other, you misinterpreted, you didn't understand, what I meant was x---, and then we could talk it through, and through that process the anger would dissipate.

Or to say, fine, Auntie, if that's what you think, you're not a person I want to have anything to do with, you're not worth being angry about, not worth the effort of following around and cursing, and I'm just going to leave you alone.

Or to say, well, Auntie, all this time I was wondering why you would say such horrible things about me, and now I know, and I see your explanation is garbage, a bunch of nonsense, and I was so angry BECAUSE I didn't know, the not-knowing was eating at me, but now that I know, I don't care any more -- and, again, the anger would dissipate.

But you (mods) cut me off at the pass, and now none of this is going to happen, and we'll be back to nothing being resolved and my being the target of never-ending sniping. The only way to resolve it is to let it play out fully.

I'm feeling a bit like a did when I first joined the board, that the concept of "civility" here isn't quite right for me -- that it's perfectly "civil" to say that any old outrageous thing if the tone is calm, but it's not "civil" to call someone on it.

[conradd]

AuntieEm, I understand your feelings about this. However, we have a very large membership here who are distressed about being unwilling bystanders. And yes, it's easy to say "just ignore the thread" but they know both you and Jeff, they care about you, and it's not easy to walk on by.

I agree that it would be good to have this discussion and to let it play out until the matter is resolved. But there are other avenues. E-mail or PMs would serve your purpose without making it everyone's problem. Why don't you try that. And the mods can be more proactive in the future if sniping continues.

Your thoughts?

Deb

[theworm[$]]

Emma,
I'm sorry that you feel this way.
You and Jeff have issues with each other. That thread remained open long enough for you both to air your views. A private issue or conflict between 2 members should be dealt with between those 2 members. It's sort of like businesses and families not airing their dirty laundry. It's becoming embarrasing.
Everyone active at EA knows that you and Jeff have issues with each other. The two of you can choose to resolve them privately, or you can both agree to disagree and stay out of each others way.
Feel free to post your views about issues, but the boards are really not the place to post negative views about other members.
I'm sorry if you feel slighted or offended.

[CurtisEdmonds]

theworm said

Feel free to post your views about issues, but the boards are really not the place to post negative views about other members.

I thought that was the purpose of the boards.

*snark*

[poseidon]

AuntieEmma said

Or to say, fine, Auntie, if that's what you think, you're not a person I want to have anything to do with and I'm just going to leave you alone.

Or to say, well, Auntie, all this time I was wondering why you would say such horrible things about me, and now I know, and I see your explanation is garbage, a bunch of nonsense.

Accept whichever of these statements you want. Do not PM me. Do not e-mail me.

[pluckyduck]

This thread is done.

The !queen of don't moderate much, don't lock until there is no other choice is locking it herself.

Take it off the board, or take it all elsewhere. Period.

Andrea