I decline to accept the end of man

[Grouch]

I decline to accept the end of man. It is easy enough to say that man is immortal because he will endure: that when the last ding-dong of doom has clanged and faded from the last worthless rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will still be one more sound—that of his puny, inexhaustible voice, still talking. I refuse to accept this. I believe that man will not merely endure: He will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. The poet's, the writer's, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past. The poet's voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the pillars to help him endure and prevail.

These words come from William Faulkner's Nobel Prize acceptance speech on Dec. 10, 1950.

I've been moping about these last few days. Too lethargic, drained, saddened, angered, sickened, frightened, apathetic, stunned, numb, exhausted to do anything but report to work, go through the motions, then come home and watch the television news cycle. Can't watch movies, can't log on to EA, can't write reviews, can't find joy.

Somehow, though, Mr. Faulkner's words gave me encouragement this morning, made my spine a little straighter, made me determined to shrug off the emotional terrorism our nation has suffered.

I still mourn, but I must proceed.

[hypotenuse]

David, I think many of us are going through the same thing. Running through the motions in hopes that somehow, perhaps when we're not looking, our lives will return to normal.

For me, time is passing so very slowly. I have many chores I'm supposed to be working through. Plus I set myself makework tasks to fill in the remaining time. But time still seems to drag so.

If it helps, you're not alone. Many of us are trying to shake ourselves up a bit in order to feel again. To feel something other than mind numbing disbelief.

I found a bit of that playing with my year old niece. She unknowingly brightened my day and brought joy into my life again. I hope you find your joy. But you must keep looking.



Lynne

[pluckyduck]

David,

Thanks for sharing the words. I appreciate them....it has been really hard. I've no idea how I am supposed to act or supposed to feel. There is no playbook.

If I had lost someone in the tragedy, I'd know what to do. I know how to grieve that kind of loss. If I'd been there, I'd have been a victim, and I'd know what to do. If I were even a New Yorker, had seen my home and my city ripped apart, I'd know what to do.

Instead, I'm a virtual bystander, but I'm so much more than just someone who drove past a carwreck on the side of the road and craned my neck to look. Surely I can't just drive on down the highway and continue on with my life as it was, talking about the horrible thing that happened to somebody else. It did happen to me.

Now, more than ever, we need to honor the gift that life is. And I guess I honor that somewhat by just doing my laundry and taking care of my kids and enjoying what I have today that thousands of other people don't.

But I also honor it by putting positive energy back into the world. It's as if a terrible dark choking cloud came and sucked the life out of us...my first reaction was to want to just strike at the choking cloud and make it suffer. That's fine enough, I guess, but that really isn't my role. There is a role to defend us against the choking cloud, but it's not mine. My role, small though it is, is to live my life the way Faulkner describes...with "a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance".

Maybe I don't do anything more than spread it in the very small circle of people who touch my life every day. Maybe I can find a way to do it bigger...but it is the only thing that I, personally, can do.

Andrea

[soxfan[$]]

Amen to that, Andrea.

Ailsa
who could say more, but couldn't say it better than it's already been said

[murasaki]

There are so many things that I hate about all this, and I do mean hate.

But there are so many things, people, nations, that have given me back my hope as well. The quote from Faulkner is one of them. The words from Andrea are another.

Hang in there, my friend, as I know you will.

--naomi

[theworm[$]]

David,
Thank you for sharing that quote. I have spent the week in tears; watching the news, and unable to do much else. It seems wrong to do all the "normal" things, yet I know that we must so as not to let the bastards win.
This morning, in tears, I called my sister in New York. She suggested I log into EA, not to write, but to read. If nothing else, I'm glad that I read your post. Perhaps it will help.

[thinkerlady[$]]

This week I have had two occassions to be present while "America the Beautiful" is being performed. First was the day after, at school. I could not sing along, tears interfered with my singing.

The second was at Church this morning. It was our recessional hymn. We were to sing 4 verses--I didn't make it half way through the first. My husband lost it at the end of the second.

This has been such a difficult week. A frightening week, and a confusing week. That quote, David, somehow explains why a simple patriotic song is so difficult to sing right now.

Tomorrow my children are playing (music) at the Phillies vs. Braves game. I'm not sure what they are playing, but it will be emotional. Their high school band performs about 6--it should be a very emotional start to the game.

[ThePirateKing]

We also sang "America the Beautiful" today at church. I thought I could get through it OK, but when we got to

O beautiful for heroes proved
in liberating strife,
who more than self their country loved,
and mercy more than life

I could not help thinking of the firefighters and policemen who rushed into collapsing buildings to rescue total strangers, the people on United Flight 93 who took on the hijackers rather than allow their plane to be used as a weapon against others.

I don't think anybody really expected to hold it together past that point.

[frazzledspice]

What has kept me together has been playing at different church services, both accompanying my daughter's school choir and playing with the praise band.

Just trying to do my part to bring comfort and hope to other people has helped me to keep my own spirits up.

Gathering together with friends to pray and talk and break bread is a help.