The Home & School Connection

**pluckyduck** · #1 10-02-2001, 09:30 PM

Okay, I'll admit to being a teensy bit rebellious to any system, and last time I noticed "School" came couple with "System" right after it. While I'm still no fan of systems, I do have to say that the teachers and administrators who populate our system are awfully good folks, and I've warmed up, after a few years

to at least trying to play the game their way a little bit.

So, this year making the most of the Home & School connection has moved to the top of my "to do list". I've been using some of my newly acquired organizational habits (see "Household Notebook" thread in Home & Garden) to grease the wheels a bit. These schools, they drown you in paper and schedules and fundraisers and appointments and events and tests .....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Here are my "new school year resolutions":

1) Work extra hard at getting to know, and suck up to, the kids teachers early in the game, rather than waiting for parent/teacher conferences a month from now. Accomplished this by sending notes back and forth and phone conferences already. Sucked up to same by sending in loads of free stuff for Fire Prevention Week.

2) Return all fundraisers, all 54 billion goshdarned fundraisers for each kid, having bought something. Yes, this will cost me serious money.

Am keeping track of fundraisers in Household Notebook system.

3) Participate in "Read & Lead" program - this program, while well intended, is a royal pain in the patoot. The kids can't just read, the parents have to record and time all kinds of stuff, and hand in little, filled in forms every week of the dang school year

Am using Household Notebook system to keep track of this too....I have to say the discipline of the program,while smothering, is already encouraging more reading. There are trophies at the end of the year!

We're already very involved in the kids' schoolwork and daily schedules and such, I'm just trying to kick it up several notches.

What about you guys? Anything special you do for the Home & School connection? How do you feel about same?

Andrea
who often feels like she is back in elementary school herself

**conradd** · #2 10-03-2001, 02:09 AM

Andrea, you're amazing.

I wish I could be more like you - organization is pretty far down on my list of virtues.

I did fairly well keeping up with Shane's stuff until I went back to grad school. He had a teacher that year that was manic about sending reams of stuff home for parental signature. Every piece of homework, every daily behavior report. She was single, first year of teaching and had nothing better to do with her time. I, on the other hand, was completely overloaded with single parenting (school, scouts, soccer practice, etc.) plus my own classes and 3 part-time jobs. Each night, I'd go through his backpack looking for the papers that I had to sign so he wouldn't be kept in at recess. Occasionally, I'd miss one which resulted in the teacher taking it out on Shane, Shane being mad at me, and me feeling like an incompetant mom. So, I finally decided that I wasn't gonna do the paper shuffle any more.

I sent his teacher a very cordial note telling her that I would no longer be initialing homework, signing daily permission slips, authorizing library checkouts, etc. Intead I sent a blanket authorization for Shane to participate in any and all school activities that were available. I also sent the principal a note telling her what I'd done and outlining my expectations that Shane would not be penalized in any way for what I'd done. Then, I kept my word. It was hard on her, she'd probably taken a class in paper shuffling and gotten an A, but I didn't care. I needed to simplify my life and refusing to sign routine stuff helped immensely.

So, when Shane started middle school, I kept the same m.o. and by the time he started high school, he was very comfortable explaining to his teachers that I wouldn't be signing any teacher parent contracts. If they had concerns, they could pick up the phone and call me. It caused a few of them some anxiety - no parent had refused to play the paper game before - but I'd been doing it long enough to know that the main reason for the paperwork was tradition.

There's nothing wrong with playing the game. It's easier on the kids to go along with the administrative paper blizzard. However, since I stopped signing stuff, my life is much easier. And, to be honest, I don't think the teachers are impacted that much. If I want to see how he's doing in a subject I ask for his homework. If his teachers have concerns, they have my number.

It works for us. YMMV.

Deb
calling for an academic revolution

**pluckyduck** · #3 10-03-2001, 08:29 AM

Deb, you are my hero!!!!!

That is fantastic. Much more the way I'd like play the game. The paperwork is outrageous, did I mention that yet? Take Shane's paperwork and multiply it by two kids.

Believe me, the only thing that could get me to give this a try this year is that I see the direct benefit to my kids directly. I'm working very hard on getting Adam pushed ahead in curriculum (how'd I do spelling that word?

) in math and science. His good but too-proper teacher is apalled by his organizational skills and wants him to get better at playing the game (my words not hers) before he moves ahead. Translation: mom better get her act together so it rubs off on the kid.

True story (along your lines, Deb): By the time I reached middle school as a child, I was so tired of forgetting permission slips and absence slips (I was always in trouble at school because I hadn't brought something in and in those days it was the kid's job, not the parent's)....that I hit on the brilliant idea of signing everything myself. From 7th grade through 12th grade, anything that required my mom's signature, I signed. Mom never knew she was supposed to sign anything, and they never knew that the signature wasn't hers because I did it every time

Never had to remember to bring anything home and I could sneak a signature in in the hallway right before I needed to hand it in.

See, how much alike we are?

Andrea

#4 10-03-2001, 08:51 AM

During the first parent/teacher conference last year, the teacher noted that my daughter's organizational skills "needed some work." That was an understatement, and I knew it.

The funny thing is that I looked around the room and saw piles and piles of papers everywhere, books jammed into every nook and cranny, etc. So I quipped to the teacher, "You know, I think it's because she doesn't have really good examples. I'm not much into organization except when it comes to writing and programming. I have books everywhere, papers shoved into available spaces, and I don't think I've seen my kitchen table for a month." The teacher, God love her, recognized the similarities and just laughed and said, "Yeah, I think we can all do better."

The only way that I've been able to keep up with the paperwork is to take care of the paper the second it comes in. Write all dates down on the calendar as soon as I'm notified of them.

I can't imagine doing this for 2 kids, btw. My SIL has 4 kids, and she absolutely amazes me with her ability to keep track of all the details. I guess that's just one of the reasons why I only have one child. I know my limitations!

I admire you for being able to handle these details at all!

**amykhar** · #5 10-03-2001, 08:52 AM

OMG Andrea me too!

I signed absolutely EVERYTHING from report cards to late slips. Worked like a charm too.

Amy

hypotenuse · #6 10-03-2001, 09:13 AM

Yah well, I signed all of mine also. Which worked really great, until I started signing everyone else's as well.

I get in more trouble when trying to help others....

Everyday I ask the children when they come home - You have anything I need to see? They'd best pop it out right then and there 'cause I refuse to read and sign paperwork with them needing to leave for the bus stop in 23 seconds.

Lynne - who utterly despises the normal morning rush for the bus. They have to brush their teeth and hair regardless of lateness, and if they miss the bus, and I have to take them to school, the gas money comes out of their allowance.

I know. I'm a horrid, mean, no-fun mom

**pluckyduck** · #7 10-03-2001, 09:27 AM

You are kidding me! You mean there are two other people in our small circle who hit on the "sign everything yourself and they won't know what your mother's real signature looks like" idea? <thud>

Really, I'm stunned.

We are a clever crew!

Andrea

**amykhar** · #8 10-03-2001, 09:51 AM

I am sure that I am also not the only one in this crew who is working double overtime to try to ensure that her own kids don't discover the same thing.

Amy

hypotenuse · #9 10-03-2001, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by amykhar
I am sure that I am also not the only one in this crew who is working double overtime to try to ensure that her own kids don't discover the same thing.

Amy

:snicker:

There are many, many things about my school years that I have buried extremely deep so that my kids don't get any bright ideas. All older relatives that remember my school years are under a gag order.

Lynne

KateTPZ · #10 10-03-2001, 10:03 AM

Andrea - I think I need to check out your household notebook thread!

Deb - you're my hero, too!

Lynne & Amy - I was too "goody-goody"

and afraid of getting caught to try that! But I wish I had!

Andrew's teacher (5th grade) this year is great - there are only weekly papers to sign - always on Monday - and she keeps it to a minimum. (She's not even a parent herself - I wonder if she skipped the mandatory paperwork class in college?!) Christopher's teacher (3rd grade) was also Andrew's teacher two years ago, so she knows my involvement level and knows that I might not sign his planner every night or initial all of his tests, but I know what's happening and I care.

I requested conferences this fall, just to make sure there aren't any social/behavior issues I'm not aware of and to get suggestions for helping both of my boys (although Andrew is far worse) with spelling and neatness. Both conferences are on Monday.

Fund-raising and PTA handouts and county flyers and YMCA flyers and GYSA (soccer association) and all the other colorful papers continue to come home in amazing quantity. I've propsed to the PTA that the web site be used for most of this stuff instead of paper, then only using paper for those students whose parents have requested paper. (My mission in life is to save a forest!) So far they're not biting. (I think a few of the officers work for a paper company!)

sylvanb · #11 10-03-2001, 10:25 AM

Holy Dewey, when did this insanity begin?

When I was in school (rockin' 'n' noddin') you pretty much had to tie the librarian to the card cabinet to rate a note home. No fund raisers, none. One field trip a year.

No different for my kids.

How on earth did we all make it into grad school with such a sloppy education?

You all have my heartfelt sympathy. Just dropped in to see how the other half lives, and I'll take my aggravations any day.

**amykhar** · #12 10-03-2001, 10:31 AM

tangent here - sylvanb I LOVE your sig line. - end tangent. Carry on.

sylvanb · #13 10-03-2001, 10:36 AM

Thank you. I stole it. It might make more sense if I had written any epinions lately...but I'm working on it, really I am.

(I like the Stepper one; I am a big fan of the old Dr.Pepper commercials)

jenninca · #14 10-04-2001, 08:45 AM

Paperwork. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.

I don't think teachers (at least where I teach) have it any better than parents. My school is SO picky about how you do things.

I had to redo my attendance sheet for the first six weeks FIVE times. First, I put on kids who weren't there the first day. Then I marked a girl who came the second day absent on the first day rather than entering the second day (no white-out allowed). Then I did first names first rather than last names first. Then I did it in blue (black ink ONLY!). Then I used a nickname for a girl who goes by her second middle name (Her name is Jennifer Alyse and she goes by Kaley....? I look at "Jennifer" on the attendance sheet and have no idea who it is.) When I turned it in at the end of the six weeks, first I got called up because I didn't total it properly (not a math mistake, but I wrote something in the wrong place). Then I got called back up because I didn't sign it in the right place.

I have to keep track of how many tardies each kid has. I can't write them on the attendance sheet ("You may ONLY write As for absences."), so I finally started a tally sheet on my calendar. I have to keep track of how many excused and unexcused because after three unexcused (for the year) they get a detention for that one and every one after. At the end of the six weeks, I have to make a report of how many of each kind each kid has (fine, when it's on the attendance sheet, not fine when you have to wade through tardy slips), and find ribbons for those who have none.

I have to keep up with their progress on Accelerated Reader. I have to update the bulletin board in the fifth grade hallway with how many points each kid has regardless of percent of questions correct, but I can't even put their card on the school bulletin board unless their overall percentage correct is at least 80.

I have to do progress reports or report cards every three weeks. I just got all the report card envelopes back yesterday, and next week I have to do progress reports again. I also am in trouble because I didn't bring my yellow report cards to the office yesterday--they gave me two yellow sets, a blue set, and a white set. Which set do they want back, and why did they give them to me if they just want them back?

In order to do report cards, first I have to average the grades. Then I get the sheet verifying who is in each of my classes, excluding an special ed or ESL kids. When I turn that in, I get the sheet to bubble in each kid's grade. Then I get the "personal development" and attendance bubble sheet. Then I get a sheet where I verify that I have bubbled everything correctly. THEN I get the report cards.

I have to keep track of who has done what for which fundraiser--gift wrap sale, field trip candy sale, patriotic t-shirt sale. I also have to keep track of who has joined the PTA (and move the marker on the bulletin board showing the percent of my class that has joined) and who has turned in their picture money.

At the beginning of the year, everyone got a data sheet and a conduct handbook sign-off page. I had to collect those and keep track of them until everyone had turned them in. When everyone had returned them, I could turn them into the office, but they won't accept them unless they're in alphabetical order.

I have to attend meetings about special ed kids who are in my homeroom but whom I never teach. I have to attend meetings to tell me how to administer the Iowa test (DUH! They write out the directions word for word!).

I have to have 150 hours of inservice within the next five years. So far, I have 2. These have to be on your own time. If you go to an inservice during the school day, those hours don't count toward your 150. I also have to have 30 hours of gifted training during this school year. These 30 hours also don't count toward the 150. I am required to provide 90 minutes of tutoring after school each week. I am also required to have cafeteria duty, recess duty, bus duty, morning duty, and detention duty, and clean the lounge. Somewhere in there, I'm also supposed to grade papers!

I could go on, but I think you've heard enough. Plus, I have to leave now, or I won't have time to get ready for the kids before I have morning duty.

Cindy

hypotenuse · #15 10-04-2001, 09:02 AM

{{{Cindy}}}

Yah know? This is one of the reasons I absolutely love this board. Parents screaming about paperwork sent home by teachers, teachers screaming about paperwork required by the school.

Makes me a better rounded person (in the good way, not in the way I'm trying to get rid of in the H&F forum) to hear the different perspectives.

And with our eclectic membership

, we have differing perspectives on almost any topic.

{{{Group Hug}}}

Lynne

#16 10-04-2001, 09:33 AM

Hugs to you, Cindy!

KateTPZ · #17 10-04-2001, 06:18 PM

Cindy - after hearing it from your perspective, and knowing what we parents go through, I have one conclusion: There are too many administrators creating worthless paperwork and ritual to justify their salaries!

<Where's the "pat on the back" smilie?> For Cindy and all the other teachers :thumbs: