My First Parent/Teacher Conference

Any words of advice or what I should expect out of my first parent/teacher conference tonight? Ethan's in first grade....

Thanks, Kristina

[hypotenuse]

First conferences are generally a sounding out of where each is coming from. I've always found it best to be straightforward with my children's teachers.

While I don't think my kids are perfect, I *AM* there as their advocate. This is my job as their parent. And I am more than willing to go to bat for each of them.

Also, let the teacher know that you place great importance on your child's education. That this is a priority with you. And that you are willing to make adjustments etc. Within reason though. If it is for the benefit of your child. Let her know that you are willing to listen, but that you expect the same courtesy from her as well.

Anyhow, that's what I could think of off the top of my head. Good luck and I hope things go well.

Lynne

[jenninca]

Oops! Missed this yesterday. How'd it go???

Cindy

[queenofallevil]

I've been waiting for the news too.....

So Kristina, how did everything go for ya? Fill us in, girl!

Val

[ms_n]

Hi.

I'm sorry I missed your very important day.
As a teacher and a mom, I have been on both sides of the conference.

From the teacher's point of view, it is so refreshing to see a parent who is interested in their child's progress and what they can do to help. The teacher is there to help the learning experience be optimal for your child and to work with you. It is the teacher's responsibility to explain learning goals and to explain what reported grades have been based upon.
The teacher should also provide information as to how you and he will communicate on an ongoing basis regarding your child's progress. Generally, weekly homework and newsletters are designed to give the parent an understanding of what is covered in class and what should have been mastered up to that point. I write notes on work papers and conduct cards to let parents know what areas especially need to be targeted or how to extend learning.

As a parent BT (before teaching), I was always overwhelmed with what the teacher said to me. I needed more concrete information, pictures if you will. A list of state standards did me little good. You may want to ask what activities you may do specifically with your child to reinforce what is done in class. I find it helpful to be informed of a few focal skills that my child is working on at the moment and what methods are being used to teach those skills (Again, please show me some pictures).

Also, if there are any criticisms of my child's work or thought processes, I ask the teacher to back them up with examples and also with suggestions for solutions. It is exasperating to have an educator inform you of a problem however small without a suggestion on how to overcome it. A teacher once told me that my oldest was a perfectionist and took too long to complete assignments. In fact, she would often not have time to complete them but would be willing to stay in at recess to finish. However, the teacher offered no suggestions as to how it might be improved. This turned what might have been helpful information into a negative criticism rather than a positive construct. Not good. Ask your teacher to come up with some help while you search for a solution as well. You should be working together.

Oh, what can you do for the perfectionist? Another teacher suggested that a timer be set and that tasks be broken down into parts so that specific goals could be met within specific time frames. This helps the perfectionist to learn to pace himself and to accept that only so much can be done in so much time. This is a difficult but an important lesson to learn.

[Redlass]

I'm dreading this too. Ours is Nov. 8.

I want to talk to her about why our ordinarily cheerful boy has been insisting he doesn't want to go to school--even though once he gets there he usually runs in and when he doesn't go, he misses all his friends. It might just be normal anxiety. We can't get him to tell us anything specific is wrong, and I've hung out and watched him through a class window--he seems perfectly fine.

yet, I'm afraid if I bring this up during parent-teacher conferences that I'm going to brand my child as an unwilling child or someone who doesn't want to be there. That could then make things worse.

I guess I need to trust the teacher, don't I?

Hi Guys,

Well, it was mixed. Ethan's teacher is disturbed that he is so introverted. He's very shy - not stupid. She was saying that she had to give him low marks in reading (he's in first grade for chrissakes) because he is embarassed about talking in front of the class. See, he'll put his hand in front of his mouth.

He's at a new school this year, and he knows no one. He's playing specifically with 2 different kids and she thinks that is bad. They don't get him into trouble, and they don't cause him to act out, so I'm not sure what the scoop is on that.

I won't bore you with anymore details however, she ended the fifteen minute conference (which really turned out to be 35 minutes) with saying that she thought our entire family needed to go into group therapy.

I came home that night and cried. To say the least, I'm not a happy mother.

[conradd]

This person is spending hours a day with your son??? Ouch!

{{{Kristina}} } She's waaaaay out of line if she thinks she can flip out a diagnosis like that after a 35 minute conversation. Introversion is perfectly normal. There's a wide range of normal. Instead of grading him down for acting appropriately, given his personality strengths, she should be working with him to help him feel comfortable in a classroom setting.

My suggestion is that you schedule a conference with the principal to discuss your experience. She may just be having a bad hair day but there's no reason for her to target or label your son. Children learn to love or hate school very early. A very small change now can make a huge difference in the future.

My son had a teacher very much like that in second grade. I had the benefit of a years experience with his first grade teacher, so I went back to her to discuss the new teacher's condemnations. She suggested specific actions (she couldn't openly tell me that this teacher sucked, but she got the point across) that were very helpful.

One thing that is an eye-opener when dealing with teachers who have a laundry list of complaints is to ask them to list three things they like and appreciate about your child. If they can't think of three things, request a different teacher. When I worked for a boss that made life hell, I found a different job. Children have far fewer options and often, the best thing you can do is advocate for him within the system.

Deb
who thinks that most teachers are wonderful, but there are a few bad apples

[Redlass]

Oh, Kristen, I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

I think it is just insane that first graders would be given a grade for anything. How in the world does that help them learn or engender in them a love for learning? Isn't it counter-productive to the goals of the school?

I agree with Deb. There are many adults who are terrified to speak in public, to expect a first grader to be able to have confidence in something this new is crazy.

[ms_n]

Kristina,

I feel that a shy child is just that - a shy child. End of analysis.

What should have been addressed is what may be hindering your child's progress and what assessments show that his progress is not up to grade level. What can be done to practice and improve those skills should be shared.

I am not familiar with the particular grading system used. However, I do not understand how the shyness scores as low reading skills. To me, speaking and reading are separate.

Dry your tears, Mommy. You know your child's strengths and weaknesses and how to love him best. The teacher's role was
meant to be a supportive one. Expect support.

ms_n