Peer Pressure

[cristina1]

We had our first taste of peer pressure last week. My four year old was outside playing with one of his friends. He knows that he is not allowed in the street without an adult, and that he has to stay within eyesight of the house, so that I could keep an eye on him. His friend (the same age) is allowed to go anywhere he pleases, including in the street, around the corner, and wherever else he feels like going. So, the other boy wanted to go around the block and Zachary wouldnt. The other boy started taunting Zach, calling him a scaredy-cat and momma's boy. Zachary listened to this for a little while, telling the kid he doesnt want to go because he isnt allowed in the street or that far from the house. Finally, he knocked the kid down.

OK, so I wasnt happy with his fighting at all, but I was thrilled that he didnt give in to the peer pressure. We had a long talk about it all. I gave him pointers on how to handle himself the next time, and we talked about how he will be put in these situations all of his life - or at least through his school years.

After our talk, Zach looked at me and said, "You know what? Tommy isnt really a good friend because if he was, he would respect me not wanting to go with him." I guess my baby is growing up. Now I just need to hope and pray that when he is faced with things such as drinking, drugs, smoking and sexual activity, he still feels the same way. And I thought it was way too early to be dealing with peer pressure.

[nicholmere]

Wow - peer pressure at four? Doesn't seem fair, does it? I'm just getting started in this parenting thing, but I do believe that what kids learn when they are young, how they learn to handle themsevles, will help them as they grow older. Sounds like Zach has a good understanding of what just happened to him. Maybe his friend Tommy will learn not to push so hard next time.

[conradd]

Cristina, I'm very impressed with your son. He'll learn not to knock people down but being able to withstand jeering and heckling at age 4 while understanding the measure of a true friend is amazing. And, being able to walk away from a problematic situation now bodes well for him in the future. You have every right to be proud of him.

Deb

[sylvanb]

What a great kid! Wonder where he gets it? :p

I remember peer pressure at a very early age (and before it was called peer pressure). I had a lot of freedom to run around, even at age three and four -- it was a safer world then -- and ran into more than one little bully. Hard lessons....

[cristina1]

Thanks for the compliments! I am just shocked that we are dealing with peer pressure so soon. It really makes me dread the teenaged years.

I do have to admit that I am really proud of my son. He has really been doing lot of things that make me proud these days And the best part is, hopefully being the oldest, he can help steer my younger two boys in the right direction.

[kurt_messick]

Peer pressure resistance, and understanding true friendship -- these are valuable gifts at any age.

[cristina1]

Thanks Fr. Kurt! Hopefully he will keep his wisdom as he gets older and faces more complex issues.