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12-23-2001, 04:52 AM
|  | duck duck duck goose | | Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Jerusalem, ISRAEL
Posts: 125
| | Desperately Seeking Snickers... | |
I am looking for a plethora of jokes for a thirteen-year-old wanna be standup comedianne. Lightbulb jokes are particularly en vogue as well as anything involving blood or funny accents.
Your assistance is vital to my survival as a friend. (13-year-olds can be so fickle, sometimes...)
much thanks,
J |
12-23-2001, 11:11 AM
|  | Premium Member | | Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: New York, NY, USA
Posts: 10,670
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My cousin's six year old wrote the following riddle: Q: What do you call a cow who kills another cow?
A: A mooderer
Her eyes bugged out when I correctly guessed the answer.  |
12-23-2001, 11:47 AM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 9,648
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Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine. (say it out loud) |
12-23-2001, 01:57 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 9,648
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I forgot -- there are two strands in The Cafe to check out -- one is Your Daily Joke, and the other is World's Funniest Joke |
12-23-2001, 02:21 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: USA
Posts: 5,877
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How about knock knock jokes?
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Banana
Banana Who?
Knock Knock
WHOS THERE?
Banana
BANANA WHO?
Knock Knock
WHOS THERE
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say Banana again?
I know lots of bad blond jokes, some of them probably wouldn't be appropriate for a Young comedian.
__________________ Fridai my epinions "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can
find a rock."---Will Rogers |
12-23-2001, 11:14 PM
| | Premium Member | | Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: New York, NY, USA
Posts: 10,670
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Knock, knock! Who's there? Interrupting cow Interru.... Moooooooooo!
(It works better verbally than in writing. ) |
12-23-2001, 11:49 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Central California
Posts: 6,263
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!'' jokes by category
__________________
Think, think, think... |
12-23-2001, 11:59 PM
|  | Mr. Nice Man | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: New York, NY, USA
Posts: 2,479
| |
Here's a link to about 50 joke sites.
But I think you'd better screen them first or look for and copy jokes you deem appropriate. http://www.startingpage.com/html/jokes.html
Rich |
12-25-2001, 01:51 AM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Home
Posts: 8,499
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I thought this was going to be a thread about Snickers candy bars 
I've forgotten most of the jokes from my childhood, but like Rich I can offer you some websites that I found amusing.
Jokes about eggs. This page and this page had some fun jokes suitable for children. (there is some duplication)
Some of the jokes on here are worth a peek. Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Good luck!
__________________  You are better when you are pink Winnie the Pooh
Last edited by nicholmere; 12-25-2001 at 01:55 AM.
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12-25-2001, 02:47 AM
| | duck duck duck goose | | Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Jerusalem, ISRAEL
Posts: 125
| |
Quote: Originally posted by nicholmere
I thought this was going to be a thread about Snickers candy bars
| I was kind of hoping someone would come up with a joke about candy bars...
Thanks for the sites... they were great!
J |
12-26-2001, 12:31 PM
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MY friend Needles, he's failing Recess. He's going to have to make it up in summer school. How do you make up Recess in summer school Is it any different than just being on summer break, just breaking it up into 50 minute blocks?
Don't believe what the Surgeon General says about kids these days... we're not all lazy, fat couch potatoes. Some of us still find time between Playstation and TV watching to binge and purge. The only exercise I get is standing up and yelling at my computer when it crashes.
Don't you hate it when the teachers ban pagers in the building? It makes it so hard to stay in touch... I mean, they yap about pagers this and pagers that... it's like they don't talk about anything else. They complain about it so much and so loud, it's hard for me to talk to anyone on my cell phone.
Every generation has its "Where were you when" question. For my parents, it was when man landed on the moon. For my grandparents, it was when Kennedy was shot. For us, it'll be 9/11. I guess it's important this time around to establish an alibi, otherwise you'll end up detained by the FBI.
I may not look like it, but I'm still hooked on phonics. I've just gotten out of Rehab again, and I attend weekly support group meetings.
From what you see on the news, you'd think this school was filled with guns and drugs. That's totally insane... I've been waiting weeks for my supplier to fix me up with a bag of Ritalin. |
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