It's a Brand New Day--The EA Health and Fitness Ten Commandments for Healthy Living

[cyndilouwhoo]

Well Happy New Year to all!

Somehow it seems fitting to me to offer up the gospel according to EA Health and Fitness today—since I know that many of you are now madly rifling through brochures on gyms, weight loss groups, smoking cessation programs, vitamin catalogs as well as other sundry self improvement schemes.

Today is the first day of the rest of your (new) life and as such, you are going to need some rules to live by—because with a little support and help, you are going to be a success starting today.

So read on: and when you are done, feel free to come on in and join the rest of us works-in-progress at the EA Health and Fitness Forum—or join a gym or a weight loss group. Just make sure that today will be the first of many days you do something good for yourself.

Good luck!

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The EA Health and Fitness Ten Commandments for Healthy Living

I. I am the body thou hast been given, the body which has been with thee since the day thee were born into this world—and the body that will be always be there for thee until such time as hard living and/or bad habits taketh us both out—for good. Thou wouldst be wise to bear this in mind when reaching for that last cookie on the plate—the contents of which thou hast consumed all by thine own self.

Thou shalt treat thy body from this day forward as the temple it was always meant to be.

II. Thou shalt not take the name of any higher power in vain when stepping on the scale or visiting thy primary care physician after a period of especially fruitful debauchery and/or general “good times”. Instead thou wouldst be wise to look into the mirror—for in its reflection thou willst likely find the architect of thy downfall—and thine ultimate salvation as well.

See there not the just the manifestation of the person thou art today, but the image of the person that thou art are most assuredly meant to be—and carry that likeness with thee every day.

III. Thou shalt not bow down or worship any food or activity--or place any substance “first” before thine own good health. Thou needest to have priorities; and nothing should be more important in thy quest for fitness than thy health and well-being. This includeth eschewing the worship of such graven images as “Cheesecake” and “Black Russians”—and spurning the act of turning thine own self into a “surfin’ couch spud”.

Practice moderation in all things. Exercise within thine own limits and consumeth not as if every meal were thy last.

IV. Remember thy water glass and keep it filled at all times, sipping often. Taketh a vitamin while thou art at it.

Though it may be difficult, thy body will reward thee with robust good health always.

V. Honor thy feet and keep them cared for. Findeth well-fitting, comfortable shoes and weareth them always when exercising. Realize that thou hast been incarnated into this world as a biped for more than thine already proven talent for walking to the refrigerator or into the TV room. Use thy feet for a healthful walk every day no matter how short, no matter how bad the weather.

Great serenity will be found—as will new muscles—and pounds will surely be shed

VI. Thou shalt not kill thine resolve to be fit and healthy when thy mind loses focus and thy self-control falters. Understand that none of the creatures on this earth are perfect—and neither are thee. Instead remember that every day is a chance for a fresh start—and that thou art always given another opportunity to start fresh with the dawn of each new day.

Look forward, never back.

VII. Thou shalt not commit the sins of guilt and self-recrimination when pursuing good health. If thou shouldst discover thyself face first and sobbing on the ground, pick thy sorry butt up and get moving again toward thy goal. Resolveth to banish “could have” and “what might have been” from thine vocabulary. Replace these words with “I can” and “I will”.

Thou hast been given the gift of positive thought. It lies within thee if thou wouldst only seek it out.

VIII. Thou shall not allow any person or any thing to steal thy resolve to get and stay healthy. Do not alloweth the words of the well-meaning or those who might secretly envy thy success to steer thee off-course—for these admonitions and proffered bits of advice are not always what they seem to be.

Knoweth well thyself and thy goals—and do what is best for thee above all.

IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness at the bathroom scale nor on the treadmill or weight machine at the gym. Thou shalt not fudge the truth when it comes to consumption or physical activity. And above all, thou shalt not compound the sin by saying to others, “I cannot understand how this happened”, when in truth thou knowest perfectly well.

In the end, no one shall be fooled but thee.

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s rippling physique nor thy favorite television personality’s willowy frame. Remember that I, thy body, am who I am. Understand thy limits—remember that thou art no longer 17 years old. Listen to me, and heed what I tell thee for I will always serve thee well.

Strive to be fit. Strive to be healthy. But most important: Strive to be happy. When thou dost pursueth the last, the first two will always follow.

Do these things and the fruits of thy labors will surely follow thee all the days of thy life—and thou shalt dwell in a “house of good order” forever.

Amen!

[jenninca]

OK, OK, OK. I'll try to remember these things. It's just so darn hard.

Great work, Cyndi!

Cindy

[lynnzop[$]]

Marvy article. I'm printing this one out!

Lynn

[tipu]

Pretty good advice...

... but you better get the NIV out. Otherwise you can bet your sorry duff that the loosahs will claim that the language in this KJV is just too esoteric for them to comprehend...

... they will do anything for that extra Little Debbie™ snacktime...

... off to look up 'TV' in the concordance... where t'hell did that come from?

[ms_n]

There must be some room on my refrigerator collage of children's artwork, photos, awards, writings, etc! Very entertaining and gently convicting. Thanks!

[kuuleimomi]

I'm the dork, who needs a NIV version. I'm afraid if I put this one on my fridge, I'll spend too much time near it first translating it into English, then comprehending it with my Russian brain. And it's not our mission to spend extra time near fridge, is it?

Finn

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

Thou writeth the truth and thou writeth it in the pithiest of styles. Do not you dareth changeth a wordeth of thiseth!

mj

[cyndilouwhoo]