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Old 03-08-2002, 12:14 AM
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A dead horse in modern business

*Dead Horse / Modern Business*

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Appointing an intervention team to reanimate the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase the riders load share.
9. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
10. Changing the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."
11. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Donating the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its full original cost.
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance.
15. Doing a time management study to see if the lighter riders would improve productivity.
16. Purchasing an after-market product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declaring that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better.
18. Forming a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead
horses.
19. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for horses.
20. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
 
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Old 03-08-2002, 05:59 PM
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I've worked for a few dead horses...
 
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Old 03-08-2002, 06:26 PM
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Cute, I just sent it to my mom who works in the same hospital I do.

I put the subject line as "_____ Hospital beats another Dead Horse".

 
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Old 03-10-2002, 05:02 PM
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Don't forget:

- Lobby the government to pass a law requiring everyone else's horse to be dead too, to level the playing field.
 
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Old 03-10-2002, 05:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by pageclot
Lobby the government to pass a law requiring everyone else's horse to be dead too, to level the playing field.
Sure! In the good old US of A, we would also impose stiff tariffs on the import of live horses. Can't have them competing with the domestic dead ones, now can we?
 
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Old 03-10-2002, 07:05 PM
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What does the dead horse union have to say about all of this?
 
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