Spreading Positive Energy

[pluckyduck]

My New Year's resolution (since the cat is out of the bag on my birthday, even though I didn't put it on my profile), is to spread more, much more positive energy in the workplace.

It's as important to spread positive energy there as in your own home, because, well, you spend more time with the people you work with than the people you live with, yes?

I've been working on this for the last two years, but I think a perodic rededication is in order since it is so easy to slip back into bad habits. It's been a long, strange trip for me, looking back over my patterns of interacting with people for the last 20 years I've been in the work force.

I used to be Everybody's Friend. (Remember the character in one of the secenrios George shared a week or so ago, the one that was convinced that even the vending machine was his buddy?) I spent years and years not realizing my own potential because I let everybody else consume me....or, more accurately, begged everybody else to consume me so I wouldn't be able to look at myself. (Yeah, maybe I had a little psychotherapy along the way. , what of it???? )

When I changed myself and became goal oriented and started hiring people, etc., I found myself putting up a thousand walls to protect myself from being overrun. The day I snapped was the day (my staff was just about 6 or so at the time), the day that the laser printer ran out of ink and three people came over to tell me, since I was the one who usually changed the laser printer cartridge. In the middle of a massive catalog deadline at the time, juggling 14 million different responsibilities, the realization that I was building a culture where it was expected I would do everything and solve every problem... I snapped. Everything changed. I became distant and removed and bitchy because, well because I didn't have any other skills to handle it.

Did you ever turn into someone you couldn't stand to be in the same room with? I spent two years or so going home and crying nearly every night. Ownership of the company had shifted, and as I grew what I was growing the spotlight and an intense amount of pressure from above suddenly shifted to me, at the same time I was trying to change the culture of upward delegation that I'd created with my own hands. (Not to mention I was having problems at home and was getting no support there.)

I can't really blame myself for creating the self-defense mechanisms that I did. I was just trying to survive...but the problem with self-defense mechanisims is that they will hang on forever, long after they are needed unless you break them.

So, the last couple years have been about breaking down all of the defenses and becoming a positive force in people's lives. Find the balance, you know?

I notice that I've slipped out of the habit, again, of saying hello to everyone in the morning. I notice that I've slipped out of the habit of having a couple of conversations a day with people just "because". I'm a thousand times better than I ever was, but I'm probably not as good as I was six months ago.

Do you ever think about this stuff? What do you do to spread some positive energy? Not for fun or profit, just because it is the right thing to do.

Andrea

[quasar]

I've always had one of those jobs where I need tons of information from others. I long ago learned that the best way to make sure I knew as much of what I needed to know as possible was to be friendly with absolutely everyone. I devoted part of my time each day to saying hello to people, to chatting them up, to making sure I knew what they were working on. I was the ever helpful one when they needed help with something. In return, I usually got way more information than I could have through more tradition means (i.e., official channels) and I usually had several people who owed me favors at any given time. Needed something reviewed quickly? I could ask that sales engineer who had just frantically called me because he couldn't answer his client's questions (but I could and did).

Now, I am a naturally shy person. I know that's hard to believe because I'm generally so outgoing, but it's true. I had to work really hard to make myself talk and be outgoing. Now to some extent it's almost second nature although I definitely still have huge moments of shyness that pop up unexpectedly. I do get a little kick from being everyone's friend and from knowing I'm generally fairly popular at work.

When I read George's thread I wondered if anyone thought of me as the "overly friendly person who never gets anything done". My bosses know better, but I was wondering if that was an impression some of my coworkers had. I generally spend more time chatting up developers, support, testers, consultants, etc. although for one task I had at my last job I needed to interact with folks in my own department. I was never unfriendly to the folks in my group and was always willing to chat, but I had less of a business need to do so. I have noticed that a very small percentage of folks in my job have caught on to this technique (possibly because in order to pull it off you need to be very knowledgeable about the products you work on so you don't come across as an idiot and so you can assimilate little scraps of info randomly tossed out in the middle of conversations about other things). Consequently I doubt many of them understand what I'm doing and why. I thought about trying to tone down the hellos and the chit chat, but that really would have a negative effect on gathering information. I wish people just told me flat out what I needed to know and none of this crap was necessary, but it always is. Everywhere I've ever worked it is.

So yes I think about it. Just from a different perspective.

Janice

[murasaki]

When I was a commander or in a supervisory position, I made an effort to have at least one conversation each day with my soldiers that did not include entirely work-related elements.

Most of the time, conversations started off with work issues but could be moved on to other things. I think my appearance in the personnel actions center on a regular basis and not just my soldiers coming to my office (or being called to my office down the hall) was a very positive thing and made me more approachable. I don't really look at it as being a positive force in their lives, I just want our work situation to be livable and as pleasant as possible.

I find it more difficult to take time out to do this sort of thing with my peers. Maybe because we're all busy, but I found myself talking less to other captains, even though I'm more likely to see them socially; my conversations with peers who didn't work right in the same cube tended to be more weekly than daily. But then, we usually made efforts to have lunch on a semi-regular basis.

--naomi