Balancing Work and Life

**theworm**[$] · #1 05-30-2002, 06:17 AM

I've been at my new job for about a month now, and I love it! I'm very fortunate to be able to do the work that I enjoy (and that I'm good at) in an environment that is healthy and positive. I didn't think that would be possible.
In any case, one (of many) things that I've learned through my lay-off, unemployment, re-employment process is how much my job effects my life. I didn't even realize how miserable I was at the old place, and how that misery wormed (name humor) its way through everything I did, until I began working the new job and saw how my happiness and enthusiasm has bubbled over into the rest of my life. While I'm thrilled to be so happy and to have this positive attitude, I don't think it's healthy for work to be affecting my outlook and personality so much.
How do you folks strike a healthy balance?

TheWorm
(who may not be around to check this for a week because she's off on an exciting business trip to Vegas with her new job)

theeye · #2 05-30-2002, 08:42 AM

As someone who has always been guilty of some rather unhealthy lack of balance in this area, I won't comment on the question.

But I will say two things:

One: I am thrilled that you are so happy now.

And two: Told 'ya so!

-TheEye, who told her sister when she was laid off that it was going to end up being the best thing that could have happened to her

quasar · #3 05-30-2002, 09:04 AM

I think it's natural for work to be a big influence on your life. After all, it's something you spend a lot of time doing, more than almost any other activity in your life. When work is exciting and interesting the world feels like a better place. When it's horribly frustrating and nothing ever seems to get accomplished of course it's a big negative influence on your life.

I guess it depends on what you do and how much of yourself gets involved in your work. If you don't care at all then it isn't going to be a large negative influence, but then it won't be a positive one either. Some jobs seem to encourage that indifference while others you can't help but get really involved in. Some folks are capable of that level of detachment no matter the job, but in my experience they are generally people who don't do their jobs very well when faced with a job that demands more than indifference.

So I don't think having your emotions tied to your job to some extent is a bad thing. I think it's natural for most people.

Janice

magenta321 · #4 05-30-2002, 09:07 AM

Worm, are you sure you wrote the first post? Because that sounds like something I've been saying to all my friends lately. I love my new job! And my old job really made me feel bad, not only while I was at work, but all the time. I'm so glad to be out of there, and not to be letting people take advantage of me any more.

kurt_messick · #5 05-31-2002, 02:27 AM

When I'm awake, not dizzy and have more time, I'd like to talk about this more!

**theworm**[$] · #6 06-08-2002, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by magenta321
Worm, are you sure you wrote the first post? Because that sounds like something I've been saying to all my friends lately. I love my new job! And my old job really made me feel bad, not only while I was at work, but all the time. I'm so glad to be out of there, and not to be letting people take advantage of me any more.

Glad to hear that you're enjoying your new job as much as I'm enjoying mine! Haven't been here for a while - went for a week to Bangkok, and then spent a week in Vegas, but my job is great and that makes it so much better to enjoy other great things in life and to deal with the not so great things in life!

vonboob · #7 06-08-2002, 04:44 PM

There is one danger in loving your job: sooner or later your priorities get turned upside down. I'm truly lucky my wife is pointing it out to me from time to time. Otherwise I'd become someone very different (one might say anything would be an improvement

) and forget about other things I enjoy...

Being stuck in the wrong job is much worse though; I passed through this too. I'm glad you found the one what treats you right.

murasaki · #8 06-09-2002, 07:29 PM

I'm so glad you love your new job.

I do, however, think vonboob has a point. It's great to love your job, but it should not be the number one priority in your life. I think it's important, in any job, to have outside interests and to prioritize family matters.

I heard a statistic the other day that the majority of men who retire from the Army die within three years of retirement (don't know about the stats for women). The reason that the majority die is because they no longer have goals and their self-esteem was very wrapped up in their jobs.

So, I think it's great to love your job as long as you have some balance and your self-esteem isn't completely dependent on your job. The company could go belly up and you might get laid off--that would be devastating to the ego if your self-esteem is too dependent on your job success.

Have fun with your job! I'm sure you won't let it take over your life.

--naomi

kurt_messick · #9 06-09-2002, 07:35 PM

I've never had much of a 'personal' life, so I'm not the right one to talk about balance. Not having a family (and having understanding cats) means I don't have to be home, and my usual pattern has been to be rather absorbed in my vocation. I guess that's why I'm so depressed when I don't have a job. (well, that and the utilities being shut off...)

**theworm**[$] · #10 06-11-2002, 05:33 PM

Naomi and Vonboob - I couldn't agree more. I guess one of the things I love about this job is that I get to do the work I enjoy, it's appreciated, but it does not take over my life. At my last job, senior management expected all sallaried employees to work 10-14 hour days 5-6 days a week. There was no compensation for the overtime. People who did it were exhausted and burnt out. People who refused felt there job was in jeapardy and were stressed out. It was hard to find a happy medium. In my new job, I work hard, but at the end of the day, I leave it in the office. I have a longer commute, but get home in time to exercise, read, cook, see a movie - basically - now I do get to have a life during the work week. That's probably part of the reason that I'm so happy - my job is very rewarding, the people I work with are great, and I get to have a life outside the office.

Kurt, I know that you're having such a hard time lately, and having been recently un-employed myself, I certainly understand. You will find something soon, and when you do, I hope that you, too, can find a better balance. It sounds like you have lots of friends (in EA and in your real life) - please, don't lose yourself in your next job.