| Business Beat EA's version of the Wall Street Journal. Stocks, bonds, and the business world in general. |
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07-27-2002, 09:56 AM
|  | Rockin The Suburbs | | Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 8,759
| | Common Accounting Terms and what they really mean | |
EBITDA: earnings before I tricked dumb auditor.
EBIT: earnings before irregularities and tampering.
CEO: chief embezzlement officer.
CFO: corporate fraud officer.
NAV: normal Andersen valuation.
FRS: fantasy reporting standards.
P/E: parole entitlement.
EPS: eventual prison sentence.
BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelery, and the husband gets no sex.
MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER - What my broker has made me.
"BUY, BUY" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane, or, the disappearance of your money.
STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-spouse and his/her and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-Eleven for toilet paper and cigarettes.
MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Last year's investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT - Religious guy who talks to God |
07-27-2002, 10:05 AM
|  | ArcAngle | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: taking a nap
Posts: 3,604
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Quote: |
P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
| snicker |
07-27-2002, 10:34 AM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: The Nutmeg State
Posts: 13,779
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That's great. I just sent it to my mom. |
07-27-2002, 11:09 AM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Malden, MA, USA
Posts: 8,461
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07-27-2002, 01:51 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Iowa USA
Posts: 4,380
| | Fits my life too closely! | |
MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.
__________________ Support me as I Walk for a Cure for Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). You can donate here! JDRF Donation Page Kim J If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.
- Sir Francis Bacon
Kim's links |
07-27-2002, 02:23 PM
|  | Usagi Yojimbo | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: The Birthplace of American Democracy
Posts: 16,777
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You have to laugh, lest you cry.
-JP |
07-27-2002, 02:28 PM
| | ArcAngle | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: taking a nap
Posts: 3,604
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Story:
My mom was a bookkeeper for years. One of her favorite stories was the time she began a new job, was being trained by the outgoing bookkeeper. Outgoing ran her through the books. Everything looked beautiful. Had all the columns. Next to last one - WITTB.
She finally asked outgoing what about WITTB?
Outgoing replied - Oh! That's just the What It Takes To Balance column....
Okaaaayyyyyy.
Mom liked that job.
Lynne |
07-27-2002, 02:37 PM
|  | Premium Member | | Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,167
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My son is an accountant....auditor....he for sure got a copy of this one (along with about 10 other of my friends.) Great stuff
Sandy | |
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