I don't know how, but they always find me, no matter how innocent my intention when running errands or what have you. I always manage to find the hardcore nut jobs. Here's what happened today:
I had to go to Home Depot, because our kitchen faucet finally died. But, since I was in Home Depot, I had to browse first. I mean, that is garden tool heaven, IMO.
So, as I was drooling over the various attachments for my Gardena snap-on hose, this man came up, and asked me if I liked to garden. I said I did, but really didn't pay much attention to him. He leaned over and said,"I love to garden. In fact, I really like to work in the mud, get all dirty, then go and take a nice hot shower," and grinned.
I gave him a frosty stare, said,"Good," and walked over to a different part of the store.
I next began looking at sliding doors for the shower. And so did he. I tried to ignore him, but again, he leaned over and said,"Remodeling your bathroom, eh?"
I gave him a glare that would have wilted flowers, and said,"No."
I decided to just go and buy my stupid faucet and leave in order to get away from the pest. So, I chose my faucet - and guess who appeared yet again ( talk about inability to interpret social cues! ).
He said,"Oh, are you buying a new faucet?" Obvious MENSA material, if you get my drift. This time, I tried to just ignore him, but he got in my way.
He said,"Do you have a man to install that for you?" I replied, " yes, my plumber" and this time gave him a glare that would have peeled paint from metal.
He continued, "I could install that for you. I'd like to." I declined. Finally, he said,"You just don't understand. I admire you. I like a woman who enjoys shopping at Home Depot. In fact, that's the kind of woman I like best!".
I snapped. I turned to him with the biggest, most sincere smile I could muster, and said,"Well, wow! We do have something in common. That is the same kind of woman
I like best, too!", and waggled my eyebrows suggestively at him.
He did one of the best deer-in-the-headlights stares that I have ever seen, and said,"Oh my G-d! Oh my G-d! I tried to pick up a dyke!" , and kept saying this as he backed up rapidly.
The crowd which had gathered behind me was absolutely howling by this time, and one lady said, " Honey, your husband is going to love this story!"
He did, too.
Cindy
From the 'You Can't Take Me Anywhere!' dept... 
When Poe ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Linear Mode
