| The Four Horsemen A chronicle of raising four boys in Canada. |  | 
09-30-2001, 02:48 PM
|  | Mom of the Four Men | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Canada, sort of
Posts: 17,275
| | Walking my way out of the dark | | Since 9/11, I have been pretty much stuck on the Canadian side of the border here. My children haven't been to school due to the enormous lineups at the border- keeping four children entertained during a 3 to 4 hour wait has just been beyond what I can manage at this point.
Most nights, I lie in bed and worry- about every little sound, about whether or not the children will ever have a normal life again, about those still missing. I don't seem to have any apptetite. I have been wanting to sleep late, and things that once gave me pleasure, such as my books and music cannot hold my attention for any length of time at all. By now, there are probably many of you nodding your heads, realizing that I have managed to go into a fullblown depression.
So, last week, I forced myself to go for a walk- the weather was nice, and I didn't have anything that urgently needed doing. By the time I came back home, I thought I felt a bit better. That afternoon, I went walking again- and noticed the same, small improvement.
It finally occurred to me that part of my problem is that I am not in control of very many areas of my life right now- I can't even go grocery shopping on a regular basis, because the kosher grocery store is in Michigan. So, in order to take some small amount of control back out of this terrible situation (and I mean that of the nation, not just of my own life) I have begun walking- a lot. Not exactly for the health benefits, although those are not insignificant. I am exercising for the ability to choose to do something, instead of sitting and waiting for something else to happen to me. I wish I could claim that all of a sudden, I've had this blinding revelation and that now all is well, but that isn't the case. However, I am getting outside every day, and while I'm there, I have time to think, to plan, and to collect my thoughts before going back inside and trying to entertain four little boys whose lives are also messed up by current events.
I have noticed that I am able to think positively about myself since beginning my walking. And, one good thing has led to another, as I have also started lifting weights once again, something I once loved to do. Maybe the joy that I had been used to hasn't completely returned, but at least I feel as though I'm giving it a chance.
Cindy | 
09-30-2001, 05:06 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Buffalo, NY, U.S.A.
Posts: 2,309
| | Humor. Faith. Exercise.
They help. So perhaps the key is to give your sense of humor a workout, and do so religiously.
I'm glad you're feeling better, Cindy. | 
09-30-2001, 05:37 PM
|  | Mistress of Mayhem | | Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: New York
Posts: 16,984
| | Cindy,
Boy am I with you on this one.
For the first week after the attack I could do nothing but sit, stare and sob. But, once I recovered from the initial shock I took to walking with as much gusto as I could muster. Ask anyone who participates in our EA stepping club. They'll confirm the blip in my stepping numbers.
It helps. It helps a lot. My head is a lot clearer. And, my body feels pretty good too.
A few months ago I would probably have eaten myself into oblivion. Fortunately, I found a healthier outlet now.
My walking is certainly not making the problems go away. But it is helping me to cope. And, that's preventing a score of new personal problems from developing.
Sara
Who would encourage everyone to give it a try. And, oh yeah, come visit our Fitness forum too. 
__________________ Stress: What happens when your gut says no and your mouth says, "Of course, I'd be glad to." | 
09-30-2001, 05:52 PM
|  | Rooster Duck | | Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Almost Philadelphia
Posts: 9,943
| | Well a big "you bet!" from me. While I don't approach the numbers that Sara and Deb have been turning in for walking while sorting stuff out, there's no question that walking or some kind of physical outlet (remedial though mine may be), helps clear the smoke of in the brain. And I feel better about myself, too.
Suppose this thread should wander over to Health and Fitness at some point. ......... but it's kind of nice to have it here in the cafe', at least for a bit. Our group of regular posters in H & F is wonderful, but I notice we don't get too many "walk-ins" posting their thoughts.
I gotta run back to the TV and watch myself go further down in flames in the EA Football Pool.
Andrea
__________________ "DON'T PANIC."
-- Douglas Adams | 
09-30-2001, 06:07 PM
|  | Will Work for Food! | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: NC Triad
Posts: 331
| | Cindy - you've inspired me.
__________________ Kate | 
09-30-2001, 06:21 PM
|  | Hello, I'm Deb | | Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Oregon
Posts: 7,227
| | Me too. And my life has been impacted very little by the east coast tragedies. I don't have to cross borders. I don't have to see a haze of smoke in the sky.
But, my son (who had planned on joining the military before this happened) is now ready to enlist the minute he finishes high school. As a citizen, I applaud his patriotism. As a mother, I'm worried sick. And walking has been the primary stress reducer in my life. Each time the recruiter calls, I'm out the door on another 2 mile hike. I consider it my own private boot camp. If the Health & Fitness crowd hadn't sucked me in, I'd be sitting on the couch eating pint after pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. Instead, I've got calf muscles again. And, an occasional pint of ice cream is balanced by the miles I'm racking up on my pedometer, even if 6000 steps = one bite of ice cream. It all helps.
Peer support is a huge factor in my continued walking. I need my girlfriends. (A few more guys would be nice too.  )
Deb
__________________ Support our Marines "If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarantee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors. There is no other." - Carl Shurz, German general and politician | 
09-30-2001, 06:49 PM
| | | Now you know what I try to walk one or two hours a day. The weight loss hasn't been as consider able as I'd like, but it's better to be out there with my thoughts instead of "caged" waiting for a lot of things to happen.
Do you keep a regular route every day, do you wander randomly, or do you have several mini-routes and mix and match them? I've got short-circuit, long-circuit, and very-long circuit routes I occasionally use. I also need to buy more of the thick socks that prevent blisters.
And I get to listen to whatever tuned I have loaded in my little Rio thingy. I think I will load it with old Goon Shows and treat myself to some radio comedy.
I never got to go on daily walks and such when I was working. I meant to, but things would always come up. Same with the workout room... never did it. Now I know that when I return to the job market in a month or two, I'll be blowing off anything where I can't walk and clear my mind of it all. | 
09-30-2001, 07:06 PM
|  | Rooster Duck | | Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Almost Philadelphia
Posts: 9,943
| | Quote: |
I never got to go on daily walks and such when I was working. I meant to, but things would always come up. Same with the workout room... never did it. Now I know that when I return to the job market in a month or two, I'll be blowing off anything where I can't walk and clear my mind of it all.
| Things like a job and kids and multiple responsibilities do get in the way, but those of us who've gotten sucked into the whole stepping thing have found that the old "where there is a will there's a way" expression has value. And for heaven sake, it's nice to have a positive addiction for a change.
For me, I almost always have to do short routes. I don't have the time for longer ones, usually, but try to take advantage of it when I do. Yeah, I have the short route, longer route, even longer route thing planned out, like you say.
Those of us with day jobs who don't walk outside at night are a little fearful of the coming winter months and short daylight hours...trying to come up with contigency plans. Somewhere along the way, the walking became important (I never would have bet that for myself in a million years), so, File, I can see why you'd want to make a job choice that left you open to keeping walking in your lifestyle. Its a pleasant and positive "addiction", may I develop a few more like that.
Andrea
who really, really should move this thread over to Health and Fitness
__________________ "DON'T PANIC."
-- Douglas Adams | 
09-30-2001, 07:07 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Houston TX United States
Posts: 242
| | Cindy, what a sad example of the ripples that spread from this tragedy. I'm gald you are finding your way back-depression is no minor thing-from time to time it tries to kill me.
Getting out for even a short while is so healing. One bad time for me evaporated when a friend made the spur of the moment decision to drive us to Galveston for dinner. (It's less than an hour away.) Sitting by the ocean and watching the sun set over the water was worth a fortune.
Thanks for reminding me of the little things we need. I have a park only five blocks away, and go all too seldom.
Pat | 
09-30-2001, 08:05 PM
|  | Mom of the Four Men | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Canada, sort of
Posts: 17,275
| | Quote: | If the Health & Fitness crowd hadn't sucked me in, I'd be sitting on the couch eating pint after pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia | Deb, Ben amd Jerry's is one of the things I can't get in Canada- so, I really had no choice but to walk. After all, sitting on my couch gorging on celery and broccoli just doesn't have the same nurturing effect.
Andrea, I see your point about moving this, but it is not only about walking- but about getting the amount of support online that I needed to do that in the first place- and I get that kind of support right here. Thanks, guys.
Cindy | 
09-30-2001, 08:47 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Alabama
Posts: 8,824
| | I'm glad you're feeling better. The week of September 11, I kept myself going running (instead of staring at my homework like the rest of the time) by thinking about how my fitness could contribute to my country in a small way. It got me out the door and a couple of times it got me farther than I would have gone normally.
I'm glad you found some comfort in walking. I hope you keep feeling those endorphins!
--naomi
__________________ --naomi | 
09-30-2001, 09:07 PM
|  | Rooster Duck | | Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Almost Philadelphia
Posts: 9,943
| | Quote: |
Andrea, I see your point about moving this, but it is not only about walking- but about getting the amount of support online that I needed to do that in the first place- and I get that kind of support right here.
|
Works for me.
Howabout I put in a plug for the Health & Fitness forum here in the cafe and about how it is for everybody, no matter if you never thought the words "Health" or "Fitness" ever applied to you and even if you are totally remedial because so are we and....
Oh wait. I think my sig line does that already.
Andrea
hey, she's a marketer, what do you expect 
__________________ "DON'T PANIC."
-- Douglas Adams |  | |
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