"I am not Benjamin Franklin!"

**hadassahchana**[$] · #1 10-18-2006, 05:58 PM

#4 is still doing his math, and it's 4 p.m. He started at 9:30 He's decided to try throwing fits, having crying jags and not eating to avoid doing it. So far, I remain remarkably unimpressed.

Here is his newest pronouncement on the subject. It should be read loudly, with feeling, and must be accompanied by dramatic hand gestures.

"I am not Benjamin Franklin! Your expectations of me are far too high, and I simply cannot achieve your goals! I do not share in your plans for my future! You want me to do math and then go to college, where I will be expected to become the smartest man in the entire universe. And learn how to drive, too!"

Pause for breath. Long, dramatic breath, I should add.

"I do not intend to go to college, not when I am ten, not at twelve, not at fifteen, and most definately not at eighteen. Or twenty. I am going to spend all my money gambling, become an alcoholic and die young. In fact, if you would give me my allowance for the next year, I could begin at once!"

I said,"Before you can spend all your money gambling, you have to get a job to make money. In order to get a job, you will need to learn math."

Another long dramatic pause.

"You always have to be right, and you always try to say that I am wrong! You have control issues! You expect me to clean my room! You make me change my clothes *and* have a bath every day! You even control when I brush my teeth. Is there no area of my life which escapes your interference?"

"No," I replied.

"I thought so! Even God is nicer than you! In fact, everyone is nicer than you. Even the man who invented cavities is nicer than you!"

Sound of sirens outside.

"Listen to that sound! The police are coming to arrest you for being cruel to children. Actually, not all children, just me!"

"Are you finished?" I asked politely.

"I guess so," he said, looking dejected, weary, the weight of the world resting on his small shoulders.

"Good," I said. "Finish your math. Before bath time, if possible."

After he finished screaming, he announced,"I am going to go upstairs and live in my room forever! When you sell the house someday, you will have to tell the new owners that the child you hate is living in one of the upstairs bedrooms. Oh yeah, and by the way, what are we having for dinner?"

I need to make a sign for my front door:

"Warning: 9 year old living dramatically here"

MiracleMax · #2 10-18-2006, 06:06 PM

Thank you for that.

**lynnzop**[$] · #3 10-18-2006, 06:11 PM

Oh lord, DO NOT let Jeremy read that. If we put him and #4 in a room together, none of us would come out sober, I assure you!!!

**pippadaisy**[$] · #4 10-18-2006, 08:17 PM

hee hee hee

mtbat · #5 10-18-2006, 10:18 PM

OMG I love your kids Cindy, I do.

tell your son I hated math too-and now I have to do it all day long at work. it's a much needed skill.

cristina1 · #6 10-18-2006, 11:07 PM

Oh my! He sounds a lot like Zack, especially the bathing and brushing his teeth part. Zack does, fortunately, love math. He hates to read, except for certain books that he will read and read again.

*emeleel* · #7 10-18-2006, 11:50 PM

If we added Sean to the mix, I think *I* would end up tempted to imbibe, too!

A few weeks ago he was carrying on about his...you guessed it, math... and when I asked him if he wanted help, he just said, "No. I just want to sit here and sulk!"

Allrighty then.

*emeleel* · #8 10-19-2006, 12:02 AM

Well, now, here's just *exactly* the article we needed tonight, Cindy!

Confident students do worse in math; bad news for U.S. - CNN.com

Quote:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Kids who are turned off by math often say they don't enjoy it, they aren't good at it and they see little point in it. Who knew that could be a formula for success?
The nations with the best scores have the least happy, least confident math students, says a study by the Brookings Institution's Brown Center on Education Policy.
Countries reporting higher levels of enjoyment and confidence among math students don't do as well in the subject, the study suggests. The results for the United States hover around the middle of the pack, both in terms of enjoyment and in test scores.
In essence, happiness is overrated, says study author Tom Loveless.
"We might want to focus on the math that kids are learning and just be a little less obsessed with the fact that they have to enjoy every minute of it," said Loveless, who directs the Brown Center and serves on a presidential advisory panel on math.

Just tell him he's right on track for Smartest Man in the Universe.

**hadassahchana**[$] · #9 10-19-2006, 01:06 AM

Melanie, that's exactly what I needed to hear.

And mind you, this is the child who recently tested at either 8th or 9th grade level in math.

**Helen_B**[$] · #10 10-19-2006, 01:39 AM

I think you should give him a few really difficult problems to do as a treat sometimes, when he has finished the math you want him to do. Be sure to tell him that this is against your better judgement, of course, because he shouldn't get to work so far ahead. Mad Minute would probably be good for him too, because he would have to think fast AND write fast to do well.

**theworm**[$] · #11 10-19-2006, 10:01 AM

Cindy, didn't you explain to him that without math he can't properly calculate his gambling winnings?

*emeleel* · #12 10-19-2006, 10:05 AM

Ooo, ooo, get him this book:

Amazon.com: Chances Are . . .: Adventures in Probability: Books: Michael Kaplan,Ellen Kaplan

There's a great chapter on gambling.

**hadassahchana**[$] · #13 10-19-2006, 01:53 PM

And on it goes. I got home from a doctor's appointment this morning, only to be met by #4. Who threw his arm accross his forehead, slumped against the stair bannister, and said,"Is today going to be another no-pleasure day for me?"

I guess that means he still doesn't want to do math.