#1 and 3 took Libby and Dixie to the dogpark this afternoon while #2 made lunch, and #4 helped by telling him how to do nearly everything. And then cried as he ran away from #2, who, it seems, does not need nearly the amount of help offered by #4. I could be wrong, however, since I was given both versions simultaneously and loudly by both injured parties.
Anyway, the collies, who are usually two of the most well-behaved dogs at the dogpark, caused all sorts of hell to break loose. Mainly, it turns out, on the person of one Pomeranian named Lola.
I've met Lola before. The first time I met Lola, he decided to hump my leg and nothing would make him stop. When I tried to help him find another activity besdies getting all red-faced and well-aquainted with my pink boots, he bit me. Yes, it's a he. Yes, his name is Lola. His owner named him Lola when she thought she'd gotten a female. By the time he was marking every piece of furniture in her house and wearing the table legs down from trying to hump them, it occurred to her that perhaps Lola was sensitive. As it turned out, however, the vet came up with a different diagnosis, and the treatment did not involve tranquilizers.
The funniest part of Lola's story is that his owner never heard of The Song, and therefore finds it completely incomprehensible when people who meet Lola giggle and point. Ok, so I don't giggle. My friends will kindly call my laugh contagious. Others call it disruptive at best. Anyway. I met Lola, heard the story of his name, and nearly wet myself while cackling uncontrollably. When I heard that his mom had no idea why this was funny, I nearly had to be escorted from the dog park. Poor Lola. I think he has issues.
Today, Lola was in a mood. He is small even for a Pomeranian, but today he decided to make Libby his own. Libby has a zero-tolerance policy regarding humping, and also one for small dogs who bite or growl. Libs just Does Not Approve, and sneers that collie sneer at any dog brave enough to try convincing her otherwise. Apparently, Lola was too busy doing what he loves best to notice that Libs was getting seriously ticked off- but Dixie noticed. She came running toward the unfortunate Lola and did a flying tackle, sending poor Lola rolling accross the grass. Lola, being an intellectual as well as a gentleman, stood up and kept on humping, until he realized that it just wasn't as much fun flying solo. He made one last mistake, though - he growled at Dixie and turned his back on Libby to do so.
Libby knows what to do with annoying small mammals, having practiced this next bit until she perfected it. Remember kitty-flipping? It works even better using Pomeranians instead. Libs walked up quietly behind Lola, who was still discussing Dixie's parentage with her. Libby quickly poked that gorgeous long collie snout up under Lola's tummy, flipped, and Lola once again found himself rolling on the ground. Again, without his enamorata.
Lola's mother must have read 'The Brave Little Engine That Could' to Lola when he was still a puppy, because Lola decided to get back into the ring. Genius dog that he is, he realized that whatever had just happened, it was Dixie's fault, and once again turned his back on Libby to continue his discussion of Dixie's personal habits. Once again, Libs snuck up, aligned nose with belly, and flipped. Once more, Lola achieved liftoff.
When Lola again began to approach Dixie, #1 was afraid that Lola would qualify for airmiles. This time, however, it was Dixie's turn to entertain Lola with some collie fun. Lola growled and ran toward Dixie. She watched him, looking puzzled (it's one of Dixie's two looks- the other being bliss after finding icky things to eat) , waited until he got very close, then reached down and picked him up by his scruff. After all, Dixie knows from cats, and when they become too pushy, the obvious solution is to pick them up and carry them someplace else. In Lola's case, I'm afraid that the 'someplace else' I'd have chosen would have been too hot for Dixie's tender paws, but fortunately, Lola's mom became hysterical at the thought of anyone damaging Lola's self-esteem or bone structure, and she took Lola and left in a huff. Dixie and Libby looked at each other and wagged.
Bad dogs bad dogs,
whatcha gonna do,
whatcha gonna do when they come for you? 
When Poe ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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