A basket case

[hadassahchana[$]]

This morning was one of those wonderful,glad-to-be-alive mornings. The house was (relatively) tidy, the collies were barking out the window at cars, Poe was busily removing the ornaments she'd missed yesterday and #1 was checking his email. #s 2 and 3 were reading and telling each other about what they'd read. I was enjoying my cup of tea. Two of the cats were fighting behind the couch. We looked like a Norman Rockwell family. If Norman Rockwell took drugs, that is. Still, for our house, it was calm.

Make that 'eerily calm'. Because, of course, you'll have noticed that #4 did not appear in the above idyllic scene. However, he soon made his presence known.


"Everyone, come quick! You have got to see what I have between my legs!"



You can't believe how far I can spit tea. #1 didn't hear him, he was using the headphones. #2 and 3 had the door shut and didn't hear him. The dogs heard him, and began barking. They know that any time #4 starts shouting, something fun is sure to follow. I sat very, very still. Sometimes, if something really terrible seems about to happen, it can be lulled into submission by quiet.

Ok, it can't. I just have an active fantasy life. However, I was going to try my hardest to ignore that clarion call.

"Doesn't anybody want to see what I have between my legs? You have got to see this!!!"

:whimper:

In fact, what I really wanted to see was the bathtub, a bubble bath, a good book and a new cup of tea. One without spit in it.

"Hurry, this is your last chance to see what's between my legs. After I let go, it will be gone!"



It finally occurred to me that this wasn't something I could safely ignore. I knocked over the rest of my diluted tea, tossed a cat onto the floor, nearly fell to my death trying to get both legs over the babygate, and saw -


#4 sitting astride an upside down laundry basket at the top of the stairs. He was preparing to launch himself down the stairs riding on top of the basket. For once, my bloodcurdling scream of "NO!!" made him stop and look at me.

After I ordered him to get off the basket carefully or I'd give all his presents to Goodwill, he growled but got off. I pointed out that he was preparing to break many, many bones by tipping over foreward onto his head. I explained that sitting on top of the upside down basket was completely different than riding inside the basket down the stairs. (note: see how low the mighty have fallen, that I consider children riding down the stairs inside a basket 'the good old days'?)

"I was just trying to teach my brothers a new trick," he fumed. "But, as usual, you've ruined everything. I bet that none of them can get a whole basket between their legs, either! Now we'll never know. And it's all your fault!" He slammed his bedroom door twice, just to make sure I understood.


This is the point at which I should have screamed up the stairs,"Just you wait! Someday, you'll have children just like yourself!". However, I am afraid to say such a thing. I most devoutly hope this is not the case. I don't think my nerves could take many more of him.

[pippadaisy[$]]

Cindy, your posts always make me feel so much better about my day. Even Bug wandering the house in pink Mickey Mouse ears, carrying a white fabric rose between his teeth shaking his money maker and singing the hit song "Rockin' Chicken" by my children's "band" Rockin' Chicken into his sister's Barbie microphone can't even hold a candle to your day.

[jgibson2[$]]

Cindy,
My oldest is 25.

At 10 months, he climbed a ladder. I was at the top.

At 11 months, I found him sitting in the kitchen sink. No chairs anywhere around.

He's the one I had to tie to a tree to get anything done in the yard. OK. I put a harness on him and tied the harness to a tree. All because my husband insisted on putting up a 4' fence when the kid was 15 months old.

I begged him not to. And when the kid saw them putting up the fence, he squealed with glee - and climbed over it. He clearly thought they'd installed playground equipment.

I had to install stiles so I could go catch him when he escaped.

This is the same child who, when my back was turned and he wasn't tied to the tree, decided to walk on our deck rail like a balance beam - 9 feet above the ground.

This AFTER I had to take down the gate at the top of the stairs because he walked on that like a balance beam.

Same child who fell from the neighbor's 9' high deck rail onto their driveway.

Same kid who fell out his bedroom window. Twice. In the same day.

Same child who told me "See mom, I didn't get hit" after running out into the street. My response: I smacked him on his butt and said "If a car does not hit you, I will -- every time." Made no impact on him whatsoever.

This is the child who ran away from home at 5 in the morning because I declined to fix a hot breakfast before 7. After working until 2.

He's the one who helped his brother climb out the basement window (brother was 18 months old) then called me to tattle.

He's also the one who woke me to tell me that his 18 month old brother had daddy's pocketknife. He neglected to tell me it was open.

This is also the child who told his teacher that he would be bringing his father's (nonexistent) M16 to school to deal with the bullies in his class.

He's 25 now and he's actually quite a pleasant human being. He's amazingly cautious for someone with his history.

Oh and he's only broken 2 bones in his whole life. He broke a toe when he was 11 and he fractured his arm last spring.

So there's hope. But in the mean time. Please keep sharing.

[Prepoia[$]]

Judy,

You must make a copy of your post above to present to your son when he has a child. It is amazing what kids can survive! No, change that. It is amazing what parents can survive

[emeleel]

Judy: Oh, my!

[Kalynda[$]]

Same child who told me "See mom, I didn't get hit" after running out into the street. My response: I smacked him on his butt and said "If a car does not hit you, I will -- every time." Made no impact on him whatsoever.

Dang. Now I have spit in my coffee!!

[lynnzop[$]]

pippadaisy said

Cindy, your posts always make me feel so much better about my day. Even Bug wandering the house in pink Mickey Mouse ears, carrying a white fabric rose between his teeth shaking his money maker and singing the hit song "Rockin' Chicken" by my children's "band" Rockin' Chicken into his sister's Barbie microphone can't even hold a candle to your day.

Oh I don't know. I think you give her a pretty good run for her money.

[hadassahchana[$]]

Judy, I am crying I'm laughing so hard. Well, msotly laughing. Some just plain crying, too. I think we have twins 11 years apart, since they did so many of the same things. The pocket knife is when I sighed, because #2 used a Henckle knife to challenge his three year old brother to a dual.


Thank you so much for posting that, i feel much better. Misery loves company, you know.

[jgibson2[$]]

When he was younger, people used to ask me how I managed.

I generally said, "Be careful what you pray for. I asked for patience......."

[hadassahchana[$]]

OMG!!!!



Judy, that phrase ought to be outlawed. I did the exact same thing! #1 was a perfect child, until he was three. I also prayed for patience, and fell pregnant with #2. I kept telling God,"I changed my mind!" but He didn't seem to hear me.

[mtbat]

oh Cindy..

has #4 been making any long distance calls this morning? I just caught DS sledding down the stairs on the futon chair

[jgibson2[$]]

Oh no! I'm beginning to wonder if I should have bought my youngest a sled for Christmas. It looks much like the sort of thing I'd have gone down the stairs on when I was his age.

[pippadaisy[$]]

I'm so glad I have a ranch.

[lynnzop[$]]

I was just thinking the same thing, Pippa.

[cristina1]

My kids used to use a piece of cardboard to slide down the stairs. They stopped that when one of them smashed his head into the front door and spurted blood.

My hellion was my oldest. I am not sure how we managed to get the nerve to have more kids after him. I remember a time when he had a black eye for 8 months straight. Every time it began to heal, he would smash his face somewhere else. I was beginning to wonder when social services would come knocking on the door. Even now, he is like a tornado hitting.

The little one was the climber. At 9 months old, he would climb on the desk, stand on top of the computer monitor and look out the window. He's also the child who opened the oven door, stepped onto it to climb on the counter, and flipped the whole stove on top of him.

The middle guy was always the quiet one. I figure his turn to make me go gray will be the teenaged years.

[Helen_B[$]]

Thank God my stove has a bracket that locks it to the floor, so standing on my oven door won't be so gosh darned exciting. I'm going to need that little feature for grandson number two, who apparently is trying to beat his dad's record of walking at nine months.

[cristina1]

We were living in an apartment at the time, and honestly, I never even considered the possibility of a small child knocking a stove over.

He never did try to climb on the stove, though, after that incident.

[hadassahchana[$]]

Ok, you win, Tina. Thank God the only one around here to get hurt on the stove is Moo, and that's only because he insists on sleeping on top of hot soup pots.

Man- that would have scared me to death!

[cristina1]

It did scare me to death. The worst part is that I had a glass spoon rest on the stove, and when it flipped the spoon rest shattered. Devon stood there screaming so I didn't know if glass flew in his eye, Nicholas was pinned under the stove, and Zack was yelling "Want me to call 911?!"

And anyone who doesn't believe a Mom can have superpowers when needed never had to pull a stove off a baby all alone. I still am not quite sure how I managed to do it.

[emeleel]

Oh dear - I know about the possibility of flipped stoves, but had forgotten about it. I probably need to tell my cousin - her 3 year has turned into one of thise climbing hellions. They've had to take all the stuff out of her chest of drawers and bungee-cord the drawers shut because she kept pulling them out to climb up them.

[Magick1]

I luckily have the stove bolted down too, but I hear that dishwasher drawers make good spring boards into "pools".

Don't quite know how to stop that one should it happen with my toddler.

[cristina1]

Luckily, my dishwasher locked when you shut it and was hard to open. I had to watch closely whenever I was fillig or emptying it, though.

The other "fun" appliance was the freezer door. They loved to hand on the handle and swing back and forth. I'm surprised the door didn't break off. At least that was short lived. As they got taller, it was less fun.