For the love of God, go away. And don't bother coming back another day. If you know what I mean. They are bored because they can't go outside to play. Bored is not A Good Thing around here.
Last year at about this time, the boys convinced #4 to slide down the banister. He went slowly, however, so #1 talked him into slding down barebottomed. He said it would make him go faster.
I had been taking a nap until the screaming started, and got downstairs just in time to see #4 wearing nothing except a t-shirt, holding his tush with both hands, jumping up and down in a frenzied jig while screaming out a lung. Since the other boys were all sitting in the sunroom watching a movie, I knew they'd done something. There is no single movie which can entertain them all without fighting, so their cooperation gave them away. #4 had some unfortunate skid marks on his bottom, but was otherwise fine. My nerves were a bit frayed.
Today, #4 once again decided to slide down the banister. I reminded him not to slide naked. He glared, and apparently my warning didn't even merit a reply. This time, #2 suggested that #4 ride down on a sheet of waxed paper, in order to go faster. This, after I nixed the idea of #4 spraying Pledge on his trousers.
They lined up to watch #4. He straddled the banister, adjusted his waxed paper, and took off. Like a shot. A shot which didn't have far to go before reaching its target. And ending in screams.
#4 was hopping up and down in the by-now familiar jig, screaming that he'd broken his bum on the end of the banister. I was sitting in the living room and was about to say,"Who could have seen that coming?" when #3 stepped up to the plate.
"#4, you are so stupid!" he shouted. "You did it wrong. I'll show you how it's done." He jumped aboard the banister, only facing forward. He said,"You sit like you're riding a horse, #4! Watch!" #4 watched as #3 hurtled toward the end of the banister. Crotch first. His ride ended much the same way #4's ended - in terrible screams. I just sat in stunned silence. Sometimes, they surprise even me.
"No no no, you guys. You have to use your arms. You sit facing forward but you hang on in front to make yourself go slower," #2 explained. And then, I had the waxed paper crackling again. I'm surprised it didn't whimper. Anywa, there was the sound of #2 getting on, and then he explained all about how to hold on, then let go. Momentum being what it is, his hands were quickly knocked out of the way by his body. His screams were louder than theirs put together.
I just sent #1 out to get a movie. They'll all fight when it arrives, but at least that won't mean a trip to emerg. I sometimes sit here and think about the differences between boys and girls. I have reason to believe that the Y chromosome is just an X with one broken leg.
When Poe ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
But I've never forgotten who has the Y chromosome, I'll pass that one on any trivia quiz. 
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