An officer and a gentleman

[hadassahchana[$]]

Yesterday was the ASVAB exam. This morning was the Marine Corps physical exam. Swearing-in ceremony was at 12:00. Sharp. But not for #1. Yesterday, #1’s dream of becoming a Marine died. We showed up at the recruiter’s office at 1:30, since he was supposed to be there by 2 to be taken to the hotel/testing centre. No one was at the office. We assumed they were taking a late lunch. No one came. Finally at 2:15, #1 called his recruiter. He was at the hotel with all of the other recruits. #1 was not. He was disqualified due to a peanut allergy, and went on the ‘permanently ineligible’ list. So, no Parris Island next summer, and no Quantico and officer school the summer after that. Just like that – in a blink of the eye and without any warning – his plans have completely changed.

Needless to say, he was devastated. He would have been depressed, but that would have been more up than where he was. He was stunned, and just sick about it. And as his mom, so was I. It was just about unbearable to see. I know that any given situation will lead to something else which is good- for myself. When something awful happens to my child, though, I want to come at it with claws out. Only, in this case there’s nobody to scratch or growl at. Just bad luck.

We did give ourselves a short while to be angry and feel sorry for ourselves. As #1 put it, everyone knows that if your enemy runs out of bullets he starts firing peanuts. The recruiter even asked him about that earlier – what would he do if he was given a PBJ sandwich in an MRE? Or, what if the guy next to him was eating one? #1 replied that in that case, he’d give his away to the guy next to him, who’d then have two. The recruiter laughed- he liked that answer. Apparently the medical review board didn’t though, because no one was laughing yesterday.

I fumed that while I was waiting in the recruiting office while #1 took a practice ASVAB, I listened as they signed another kid up. One who had a fairly busy career as a criminal before he turned 16. As in, B&E’s, assault, possession of more than an ounce- etc. So, yesterday I felt that if #1 had robbed a convenience store when he was 14 but could eat peanuts whilst doing so, he would be in. Ok, I was being whiny – but, when dealing with something which makes your child sad, you’re allowed an hour or so of bitching before getting to the STF up stage.

Which is where we are now. You get on with it, and make new plans. You take off for New Mexico wearing a shirt which Brian promises me is guaranteed to keep the chicks away. You compile a list of senators and addresses if you’re me. And, you wait to see what happens next. Ok, you cry a little, too. And then, knowing how life works, you wait for your child to get to the next really good place and figure out what else makes him happy and fulfilled. And, you STF up and smile. Which I am. With red puffy eyes, and a very wobbly damp smile it is. But, I’m smiling.

#1 was finally smiling after he talked to Brian last night, laughing by the time he got off the phone. This morning he was still sad, but he told me not to take down any of his Marine posters. He still loves the Corps, he says, with all his heart - and a big and kind heart it is, too. He'll go off to New Mexico and have a great time. He even gets to work with the rodeo camp on his days off, and he says that's a good thing. He also wore a nice everyday western shirt, so he looked great too. He'll spend the summer getting over this, and then we'll figure it all out again in the fall. He may not be an officer, but he's still a gentleman, and I am so proud of him.

[MiracleMax]

to both of you. Maybe New Mexico this summer is a step toward a famous chef.

[mtomm[$]]

I'm shocked.

[emeleel]

to both of you!

And you can whine at me in IM anytime.

Like I said last night, I can really understand it - but I don't see why they didn't nix him ages ago instead of letting him get so close and then yanking it all away.

[taurusmoon]

hadassahchana said

He may not be an officer, but he's still a gentleman, and I am so proud of him.

Amen.

[Leslie2k]

hugs to both of you

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

emeleel said

Like I said last night, I can really understand it - but I don't see why they didn't nix him ages ago instead of letting him get so close and then yanking it all away.

Probably the recruiter's quotas - if he had X number of recruits active on his roster, he was good; let the medics knock #1 out at the last minute, recruiter still had his numbers for the previous months and the recruit wasn't lost because of anything the recruiter did or didn't do.

[theworm[$]]

you know what Brian and I think about all this.
Maybe he can't be a Marine, but he has all the great qualities that would have made him a GREAT Marine and will bring him much success in another career path. I'm so sorry that this dream was taken from him, but I know he'll end up on top doing something just as - or even more - rewarding.

[pippadaisy[$]]

I know how much he wanted this. What everyone else said! There are tons of things he can do, from the Peace Corps to police officer to chef to just about anything.

I also think that if food allergies are a deal breaker, they are going to be AWFULY short of recruits in a few years!

[jgibson2[$]]

I am so sorry that #1 won't be able to realize this particular dream. I know it won't be long before he finds another direction, though.

[lynnzop[$]]

Cindy....and #1....

Exactly what everyone else said. And I know you will both deal with this with class. Much more than that recruiter who strung you along.

[soxfan[$]]

[Vince]