Things went smoothly until lunch time. At which point I realized that it just might not get above freezing (i.e. 60F) that day, and I changed where we were eating. At McDonald’s.
On to looking for a hoodie for #2 (“I told you I didn’t want to bring a sweater. Didn’t you understand what ‘no sweater!” meant?” After I threatened him with every known punishment, we stopped at Hell, aka Walmart.
Finally we arrived at Houghton Lake. I followed the directions from Mapquest (ominous music) just like I had lived here all my life. Until I drove the .2 miles to our cabin, where I discovered that someone had built a dentist office there. I considered this to be remarkably inconsiderate, and so we drove a little further. And drove back. Further again, rinse and repeat. Until the unimaginable happened: #2 asked if we could stop to ask for directions. We did, and discovered that in fact the cabin was 2 miles from that store. I mentally forgave the dentist, we drove on, and found the address, right where the nice man at the beer and bait shop told us it would be. Seeing the address, #4 walked into a private home and asked for the key. After he was ushered out, we found the real cabin, found Chip and Brian, and drove off to Chip’s family reunion.
This family reunion really has to be seen to be believed.(Sara, are you reading this??) It has run for 82 consecutive years. The oldest attendee has been to all of them, the first one when she was a newborn. It is run like a business – a fundraiser, newsletters, and the most incredibly awesome fireworks display I have ever seen in a private setting. The people were all so nice- #4 was nearly adopted. Even after he was given the longest marshmallow fork – Pippa, it was 5 feet long and hand-sharpened on the end (I didn’t say all these people were bright
). Having been helped by about ten people after he nearly put out an eye of an older relative with a flaming marshmallow, there was a line of volunteers to make toasted marshmallows for the Little Prince.
We went on a hayride. Hay invaded my personal space. I’m just saying. The people on my wagon were the best- we had by far the funniest group. There was a gay couple next to me, and all of us made really bad gay jokes, many of which involved Sponge Bob and Ren and Stimpy. It could only have been better if I’d had the fixings for Hurricanes. Unfortunately Chip hadn’t told me I was allowed to poison his relatives. Live and learn, that’s what I say. The first day was a blast!
When Poe ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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