"It slices! It dices! It cuts through sheet metal and never gets dull!"
It also makes its mother anxious. #1 took #4 shopping for a new helmet today, and #4 came back so excited he could hardly speak. For the first thirty seconds after he flew through the door, I couldn't understand much more than something about three pairs of scissors, a hacksaw and a juicer.
"#1 bought me a set of knives, and now, finally, I can cut through chicken bones and saw through hammer heads!"
Apparently #4 found a product demo lady in Walmart and was absolutely entranced by her spiel. As they walked up to her display all they heard her say was,"...and for the first ten people to buy this kit, we'll include an extra. Who wants..." before #4 was dancing up and down and waving both hands in the air. This was before he even knew what she was selling. #1 says he was laughing too hard at that point to try and slow down his little brother.
By the time she pulled out a paring knife, #4 was standing on his tiptoes jiggling up and down just waiting to see what would happen next. She began rattling off the prices for each if you bought them individually, and before she could say anything else #4 gasped,"OMG, that's $130!!". She paused, then said, "Today only, you can buy all these for $25" and #4 was hopping from one foot to another as he shouted,"Wow! You save $105! WOW!".
The lady kept trying to do her demo, and each time she'd show a new knife or tool #4 would chime in with his thoughts- she tried to cut through the hammer and he yelled,"Oh no, you'll dull the knife!". Which allowed her to talk about how these knives never dull, blah blah blah. She demonstrated the carving knife and then showed everyone the tip, and #4 announced,"Hey, that looks like a fork. Could you serve the meat with that after you cut it?" which she had been just fixing to say. #4 had a great time. #1 reports that the demo lady was looking a bit white around the lips by the time she was done, but #4 got his big brother to buy a box of the darn things. I guess I should be glad that she was selling something harmless. Like knives, and not kittens.
When Poe ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Linear Mode
