I was trying to have a serious conversation on the phone on Sunday. The Horsemen were watching a movie and eating chicken wings. Victor, one of the baby Siamese, grabbed a chicken wing from someone's plate and ran off growling loudly. I think his theory was that screaming, "I've got food and I'm not going to give you any!" was going to make all of the other animals ignore him, but sadly this did not work. The collies woke up, began barking before they saw what the problem was, and as soon as they saw Victor run past carrying a chicken wing, they gave chase. They went after him up the stairs barking so loudly that I couldn't use the phone. Violet, Victor's sister, took exception to the collies chasing her brother so she went after them growling and hissing, and chased them partway back down the stairs, which made them bark even louder.
Victor, seeing the collies leave, tried swallowing the chicken wing whole. This did not work as planned either (poor Victor isn't right) and he began coughing and choking, which upset #4, who had been trying to take the wing away. Victor was seriously choking when #4 picked him up and shook him, which made the chicken wing fall out of his mouth. He began howling for his chicken wing. Libs and Dixie spotted the wing and went crazy- figuring that if it touched the ground it was theirs, I reckon. Anyway, Violet felt that the collies were trying to eat her brother and began howling and hissing, which woke up the only nice cat in the house, Alexander. He jumped out of the linen closet and straight into Hell- barking, howling and hissing, and three boys all trying to grab cats, dogs and a chicken wing. Alexander isn't right, either, and he became so frightened that he went stiff, had a small seizure, fell over sideways and peed himself, as is his way when anything frightens him. Which is at least three times a week.
Finally, Victor vomited on #4's shoulder, Violet scratched one of the collies, and I was left trying to clean up cat urine, cat barf, a scared cat, an angry child, and had a pile of laundry the size of Cleveland. Oh, and had to comfort a scratched collie nose. Mark wasn't surprised by any of this, which is the really sad part of this story.
When Poe ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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