Talent show

[Redlass]

So, my heart is breaking for my little guy.

He came home the other day and said he was going to be doing a skit and telling a joke for the talent show at school. I was a little surprised because I thought only the upper elementary participated in the talent show. But I was pleased. He wrote out the skit and worked with his two classmates to rehearse. The night before the skit he told me that rehearsals weren't going well--that everyone was going over the script and being wild. So he and I practiced his part for about an hour and a half. We talked about being loud, facing the audience, etc. He then asked if his dad and I would come into the school and help them rehearse. So that morning, we went in. The girl playing the bear was out sick so they recruited another classmate to be in the skit.

We went through the skit about eight times with them, giving them some advice on blocking and making suggestions for ways to tighten things a little. It wasn't great art, but it was to the place where it looked like they would have fun and it would be entertaining for their audience.

They went back to the class and we proceeded with the feast (it was a big lunch that the kids had spent all week making with some parental help/guidance. They'd done applesauce, dressing, and potatoes all from scratch. They'd also made layered jello, veggies, cheese trays, cider, egg nog, and a turkey.) After cleaning up from the feast, the talent show started.

The talent show was actually pretty cool. It was run entirely by the kids and I was impressed with how supportive everyone was to everyone else. Everyone was applauded and cheered on no matter what they did.

About 3/4ths of the way through the show it came time for my son's skit. The two girls in the skit jumped up, holding hands and skipped toward the "stage." My son started backing away. The teacher tried to move him toward the performance area and he scrunched in on himself. The kids in his class--in what seemed a very supportive and encouraging manner--started chanting his name. He freaked and hid under the table. They skipped the skit and went on to the next act. He sat and silently cried. I managed to get over to him and pull him into my lap before he completely broke down.

Afterward he said he was just scared--he didn't know of what, but he was scared. He thought maybe he could do his skit for just one person at a time and then said it really hurt.

I know this is part of growing up. I know it is good that he has a safe place to fail so that he can learn from it and move on. But, man, it hurts to watch. Both his dad and I told him how proud we were of him and we talked about how hard it can be to deal with stage fright--and that every performer experiences it in one way or another.

But, oh, it's hard to watch a formerly fearless kid be cowed by fear he can't even explain.

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

aw... the poor guy! and poor Mom!

[frazzledspice]

Golly, stage fright is awfully tough!

But at least he has some experienced actors in the family to help him cope with it and relate some of their own theatrical bloopers.

My daughter loves to act and perform, and although she's had some wonderful experiences, she's had some difficult ones, too.

She started when she was 13, and won a starring role in "Best Christmas Pageant Ever." One month later she tried out for a musical (she has a beautiful singing voice) and won the lead in that, too. It was a big budget production staged in the biggest venue in town, and, halfway through the rehearsals, they decided she was too shy and inexperienced (the role involved being a boy who 'wouldn't grow up,' flying on equipment rented from Las Vegas, etc. They replaced her, and put her in a smaller role. She was devastated. I slept down in the basement with her two nights, because she was so distraught I didn't know what she'd do. They had published her name in the entertainment monthly and everything...

She stayed with the play, and has kept acting since, with ups and downs and highs and lows. There are probably a few people involved with that company that still think she doesn't have the chops to be a lead, even though she's been battling back. She signed with a regional modeling agency after being in a talent show recently. (Maybe you'll see her in a commercial someday.)

I try to encourage her and help her keep believing in herself, because she really loves being involved in drama.

(Your son is getting an early start, and has an excellent pedigree, so I'm sure he'll recover and keep on truckin'.)

[emeleel]

Awww, poor little guy! Ya just never know when something's going to hit you, do you?

[taurusmoon]

Poor little guy. And poor Mom and Dad.

[hadassahchana[$]]

{{{{{Bridgette, Dominic and Rick}}}}}

The three of you make such a great team! He's going to remember your reaction and his dad's support long after the pain of this failure has faded. You guys handled this so very well!



Cindy

[murasaki]

Poor kid!

[theworm[$]]

Oh, Poor Dominator!
You're right, Bridgette, this is a really hard lesson for him and it sucks. Thank goodness he as such supportive parents and schoolmates!
Something tells me that this might be harder for you than for him.
:hugs:

[pippadaisy[$]]

Aw....

I was petrified of the same thing happening to Beanie at her dance recital. She's SO shy. I think you handled it wonderfully.

[lynnzop[$]]

Aww Bridgette. Poor Dom! I'm impressed with all the time he spent practicing and getting thing right up front...I know it's tough on him to have stage fright, and hopefully he will grow beyond it sometime (with parents like you and Rick, he's a natural!).

Hugs to the Dominator.

[Magick1]

to the family.

Sounds like you all handled it very well.

[Redlass]

We had a good weekend together and he slept in today until 12:30!!!!

We'll see how he does returning to school on Monday. We're not going to mention it unless he does, but we've tried to stress all weekend what a special kid he is and how much we love him and are proud of him.

I have to admit that I've felt no small amount of guilt over the whole thing. You have to wonder whether he got scared because he was worried that we wouldn't like it. Or whether we had put pressure on him. I don't think we did, but I can't help but wonder.

[Helen_B[$]]

You just have to keep in mind that however little you think he is, he is probably littler than that. Most of us have somewhat unreal expectations of a first born, especially a very verbal one, thinking he is way more mature than he is. All the books by Ilg and Ames, of the Gesell Institute of child development, are good at gaining a more realistic view. Their descriptions of what children are like at different ages fits many children still, even though the research is not recent. (My favorite had to be Your Three-Year-Old, Friend or Enemy?)

[eris esoteric]

Redlass said

I have to admit that I've felt no small amount of guilt over the whole thing. You have to wonder whether he got scared because he was worried that we wouldn't like it. Or whether we had put pressure on him. I don't think we did, but I can't help but wonder.

The two of you ARE GOOD PARENTS. I keep TELLING you this. If you don't believe me, I'll have my parents make you adopt me.

*hug*

And give Dom a hug for me, but don't tell him what it's for.

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

Don't feel guilty! These things happen as a kid grows up. There's also those brief backwards steps in development that kids make as they're getting ready to jump ahead to the next stage. No one knows why The Dominator froze Friday, even he doesn't know.

I remember once the popcorn man was coming down the street when I was a kid. (guy with a pushcart with popcorn, like the ice cream truck but on foot) I loved to go buy popcorn from the popcorn man. This time I wanted popcorn, but I didn't want to go see the popcorn man for some reason. My dad handed me the money and I burst into tears, threw the money on the ground and ran and hid in my room. To this day I could not tell you why I didn't want to buy popcorn alone, even though I'd done it a dozen times before. It could be the same way with The Dominator - one of those flukes that had really bad timing, but isn't indicative of anything.

And it's great that it happened on a Friday. If something bad had to happen at school, I was always thankful when it happened on a Friday because the odds are it would be forgotten by Monday, or at least have a lot less sting. Kids at the Dominator's age have already moved on to three or four other exciting things to talk about from the weekend.

[Helen_B[$]]

Being overwhelmed unexpectedly is something little kids do; the circuitry just gets overloaded once in a while. It's a kid thing. That's why it's lucky for Dom that he has such terrific, understanding parents, who have confidence in him.

[ms_n]

Hugs and warm thoughts to you all. Sounds like he is well-loved and cared for-- something that will not be hidden from him in whatever situation he finds himself in now or in the future. :thumbs:

[nicholmere]

Redlass said

So, my heart is breaking for my little guy.

Oh, poor little fellow Hugs for everyone.

Has he said if he would like to try again another time?

[Redlass]

The books sound really good--I'll keep an eye open for them.

Katherine--he said he wanted to put on the play--but in front of one person at a time. I suggested to him that it might be a little impractical.

On the plus side, he is doing a holiday program on Friday where he'll be singing as part of a group. And his whole class is going to be doing a series of skits at the end of the year based around creation stories (that one will be written by his mother, but I may be co-opting him to get his help with the writing).

Today was latke lunch at the school and I was in helping the kids make stuff (one girl and I tried to create "The Latke Musical" but were stymied over how to dance like a potato). One of the Dominator's classmate's asked whether he was afraid of being on stage. I replied that he had stage fright on Friday, but that didn't mean he'd always be afraid--rather that it was something people had to face and deal with. She replied, "I bet Richard never gets stage fright." I told her that every performer gets stage fright in one way or another, it just comes out in different ways--and that some of the best performers are able to use the energy from their stage fright to do a better job.

After drama lessons for the primary classes I was talking to one of the administrators. She suggested that it might make the Dominator more empathetic to other children in the same situation and that we should look on it as a good thing--as something that he will remember and learn from.

[lynnzop[$]]

Redlass said

Today was latke lunch at the school and I was in helping the kids make stuff (one girl and I tried to create "The Latke Musical" but were stymied over how to dance like a potato).

Like this: porn

Redlass said

I told her that every performer gets stage fright in one way or another, it just comes out in different ways--and that some of the best performers are able to use the energy from their stage fright to do a better job.

That's a really difficult concept for non-performers to understand. I've had people tell me I 'look so calm and collected' during a performance, but inside I feel like I'm going to throw up, and I'm usually shaking so much I think I am literally going to fall down or drop the mic. Happens every single darned time. For me, bigger audiences (and anonymous) are better. I freak out with a small audience that I know...but put me in front of 500 strangers and I can soar.

The key is finding how to channel that energy. Does your acting class teach dealing with stage fright? (Is such a thing taught???) Every person is going to deal differently, but I would have to think there are ways to teach coping mechanisms (other than the classic "imagine everyone in their underwear".... well, then again, maybe you should use that one with the Dom, it would probably get a chortle from him!)

Lynn

[Redlass]

The admin and I were talking about that--trying to find words that would make sense to a six-year-old. We talked about taking all his fear and putting it into a box.

I've never had an acting class--which is somewhat amusing given that I'm now teaching it. Rick and I team teach acting to Dom's class (yeah, talk about pressure--having your parents be the drama teachers). I think we'll be including a lesson on stage fright--as soon as we figure out some answers. Perhaps that's a research topic for me.

(And yeah, I thought about that sort of potato dance, but the girl was only in second grade!)