Overheard in Kindergarten

[Redlass]

So Richard and I have been doing a fairy tale unit in our kindergarten drama classes. We've done a bunch of acting out, teaching them the different elements, etc.

We're currently doing a multi-week activity where the kids are group-writing their own fairy tale. It's been a ton of fun 'cause they're really, really creative. But we've also had some pretty funny moments.

We were working on describing the villains. Each child got to contribute one piece of the description. We'd gone over how description could be what the person looked like, how they sounded, the name, or how they acted.

One of the villains in this particular tale was an evil kitty. We'd gotten from the kids that she was a girl kitty named Chloe, she had wings, and she made a bat sound like "ah! Ah! Ah!" We got to one girl who was stuck. So we tried to prompt by asking questions.

Richard: What makes the kitty evil?

The little girl ponders a moment with a serious face and then she pipes up, "She's got a wife!"

We bit our lips so we wouldn't burst out laughing and moved on. RIck's comment later was, "I've got a wife and that doesn't make me evil. A little grumpy sometimes, but not evil."

[amykhar]

Let's just hope the kid wasn't trying to say lesbians are evil.

[Prepoia[$]]

Kids say the darndest things! (Usually paraphrased from what they're hearing at home

Sandy

[thinkerlady[$]]

Cute. Very cute. Art Linkletter would have loved it.

[pippadaisy[$]]

I shudder to think of what my kids say when I'm not around.

[soxfan[$]]

Pretty funny, though what Amy said occurred to me as well.

[murasaki]

I wonder if the reverse is true and having a husband also makes one evil.

[eris esoteric]

I wonder if the reverse is true and having a husband also makes one evil.

I've always understood it qualified one for sainthood.

[Redlass]

I could be naive, but I hope, hope, hope, that a five-year-old wouldn't consider lesbians evil.

Though we've certainly had some interesting social issues crop up. I'm really glad that there are experienced classroom teachers nearby who can help us with some of the minefields--or whom we can talk to afterward.

We have one child who always goes for the gorey or violent choice. There was another African-American child who kept insisting that everyone have white skin and got very upset when someone suggested a different skin color.

I'm telling you, I learn far more as a teacher than I could as a student.

[pippadaisy[$]]

I don't think they generally think that way either unless they have SUPER bigoted parents who are really drilling it into them from the get-go.

Beanie's a smart cookie, but sometimes the stuff she puts together for reasons behind something stump me. Although she figured out on her own that Jordan, a little African-American girl in her class, has dark brown skin, Beanie has light brown skin (DH is Portuguese), and other kids have beige skin. She doesn't understand why some of the kids say Jordan is black.

[Redlass]

On a lighter note, would you like to read some of the beginnings to their fairy tales?

A long time ago and far away, there was a candy castle. It was made of green and blue and yellow jellybeans with two candy canes on either side of the door. The door knob was made of blue cotton candy with a green mint for the doorbell. Logs of red licorice stood as the door. Tall towers of white chocolate pierced the always blue sky.



Princess Iforgot and her brother Prince Jerry lived in the candy castle with their father King Richard. The teenage twins and the old king loved each other dearly.



Not far from the candy castle, the Sand Witch lived in a ham sandwich-shaped cottage. Living with her were her two henchmen: Ratty Elephant, a black, giant rat, and a ghost.



Marring the bright and happy land was a curse that the witch laid. She’d given everyone a huge sweet tooth, making everyone crave candy and sugar.

And yes, it's Princess Iforgot, 'cause "I forgot" was the response we got twice in a row when calling upon children who had raised their hands. The kids got a giggle out of it.

From the second class:

Once upon a time in a land far away, was a large castle with three towers. One was pink and purple. The second tower was green and the third was gray. In this castle lived young King Sharkface.



In a nearby woods lived the castle’s guard, a large ogre named Sharptooth. While his looks were fierce, he was actually very helpful, guiding lost people through the woods.



Sir Silverknight lived with the king in the castle. He was brave and tall.



Alas, all were not noble in the kingdom. Roaming the land were three evil forces. The first was Whitestripe, the fierce tiger with sharp claws who was always hungry. Mooncat had a sleek black coat of fur. Only the cat was invisible in all lights except the moonlight, when his fur would shine. The quiet sneak of a cat would slink through the land stealing food and jewels.



Then there was the evil Sir Razorblade who was once a noble knight who became corrupted. He now spends his nights chopping down trees, using a loud axe that strikes terror into the hearts of the land’s people. He menaced everyone he met and was as violent and cruel a knight as yet existed. He was especially fearsome because he could turn into a razor blade.

And from the fourth class (the third class had some scheduling challenges and we're a week behind in it):

Once upon a time, there was a huge castle. On the outside it was breathtakingly beautiful. From the parapets flew brightly colored flags and streamers. Sweet-smelling flowers climbed the walls, splashing their joyful colors everywhere.



Inside the castle, things were very different. Inside, gloom was everywhere and spider webs hung in every corner. Monsters lurked in dark rooms. Rumors said that the Loch Ness monster dwelt deep in the cellar waters and that Dracula stalked the halls, sucking blood from unwary residents.



Many people called this castle home. There were the residents whose hearts matched the outside of the castle—the friendly Princess Alisa who wore long, beautiful dresses and a gold crown. Her best friend was the good witch Emily, a happy, tall woman with bushy eyebrows who lived with her in the castle. Keeping the witch and the princess company was the vixen Rose, a playful fox with a fluffy tail and a soft coat. Rose entertained her friends with her ballet dances—for never had there been a fox who could dance the ballet as well as Rose.

[emeleel]

Not far from the candy castle, the Sand Witch lived in a ham sandwich-shaped cottage.

I spy a kid who's well on his/her way to a life of making all their friends groan on a regular basis.

Inside the castle, things were very different. Inside, gloom was everywhere and spider webs hung in every corner. Monsters lurked in dark rooms. Rumors said that the Loch Ness monster dwelt deep in the cellar waters and that Dracula stalked the halls, sucking blood from unwary residents.

Oh my!

[Redlass]

In one of the stories (the one with the friendly ogre), the "problem" of the story was going to be that the heroes get locked up in the dungeon. One child asked what was so terrible about getting locked up in the dungeon. So we turned the question back around, "What would make a dungeon a terrible place to be?"

We got lots of responses about spiders and cobwebs and slime. Then we had a child say, "Because they get chained to a chair and have their feet cut off."

Brothers Grimm, look out!

[Redlass]

emeleel said

I spy a kid who's well on his/her way to a life of making all their friends groan on a regular basis.

Oh, and the nifty thing about that story? The "problem" is that the witch laid a curse on the land. The curse is that everyone in the land is really, really hungry and have sweet cravings. So they all show up and start eating the castle. But since they have a sweet tooth, they leave her ham sandwich cottage alone.

[soxfan[$]]

Too cute!

[Redlass]

Here's some more (I'll recopy the whole story so you don't have to scroll up and down):

Class A:

A long time ago and far away, there was a candy castle. It was made of green and blue and yellow jellybeans with two candy canes on either side of the door. The door knob was made of blue cotton candy with a green mint for the doorbell. Logs of red licorice stood as the door. Tall towers of white chocolate pierced the always blue sky.
Princess Iforgot and her brother Prince Jerry lived in the candy castle with their father King Richard. The teenage twins and the old king loved each other dearly.

Not far from the candy castle, the Sand Witch lived in a ham sandwich-shaped cottage. Living with her were her two henchmen: Ratty Elephant, a black, giant rat, and a ghost.

Marring the bright and happy land was a curse that the witch laid. She’d given everyone a huge sweet tooth, making everyone crave candy and sugar. Soon, the people of the kingdom descended upon the candy castle and began eating it.


As the king and his two children watched, the witch’s henchmen set upon the castle with glee. First they ate the doorknob. Then the doorbell. Then they began to eat the walls. Soon the castle was in danger of falling down.


Princess Iforgot turned to her brave brother and said, “I need my magic wand. It can restore the castle and take away this awful craving for sweets! My wand still floats in mid-air at the top of the castle’s tower. Please, can you get it for me?”


Prince Jerry knew that if he didn’t get the wand, their home would be ruined and his family would be driven from the land—to say nothing of all the toothaches and sore bellies that the people would get from eating all those sweets. So the prince charged to the castle tower and began to climb it.


His quest did not go unnoticed. Ratty Elephant, the giant, black rat saw what Prince Jerry was doing and ran after him. As soon as the prince had entered the white chocolate tower, he began scrambling up and down the outside of it, chewing holes in it as he went. Inside, the hot air blew in through the holes, heating up the tower and making the chocolate melt.


He was halfway up the chocolate bar stairs when he slipped and a piece of the stair broke off. He let out a cry before grabbing a higher stair and pulling himself up.


Outside, King Richard heard the cry and ran to help his son. As he reached the bridge that crossed over to the tower, the ghost popped out from underneath it, howling at the king. Before the king could react, the ghost passed through the bridge, grabbing the rock candy nails with his teeth and pulling them out. The bridge teetered treacherously and threatened to fall as the king prepared to step out on it.

Class B

Once upon a time in a land far away, was a large castle with three towers. One was pink and purple. The second tower was green and the third was gray. In this castle lived young King Sharkface.


In a nearby woods lived the castle’s guard, a large ogre named Sharptooth. While his looks were fierce, he was actually very helpful, guiding lost people through the woods.


Sir Silverknight lived with the king in the castle. He was brave and tall.


Alas, all were not noble in the kingdom. Roaming the land were three evil forces. The first was Whitestripe, the fierce tiger with sharp claws who was always hungry. Mooncat had a sleek black coat of fur. Only the cat was invisible in all lights except the moonlight, when his fur would shine. The quiet sneak of a cat would slink through the land stealing food and jewels.


Then there was the evil Sir Razorblade who was once a noble knight who became corrupted. He now spends his nights chopping down trees, using a loud axe that strikes terror into the hearts of the land’s people. He menaced everyone he met and was as violent and cruel a knight as yet existed. He was especially fearsome because he could turn into a razor blade.


Inside King Sharkface’s castle was a deep, dark dungeon, built to punish those who would bring evil to the land. It was a terrible, frightening place dripping with slime and crawling with spiders who had large fangs. All of the dungeon’s passages were dusty, old, grimy, and smelly. It was especially fearsome as rumors spread through the kingdom that there was a room in which prisoners would be chained to chairs and have their feet cut off. Whether this happened or no, there was dried blood staining the floors, dried blood that snakes would lick at as they slithered through the dungeon.


To add injury to insult, any person who was thrown into the dungeon had to pay heavy taxes while they were there and after they were released to pay for their stay.


Whitestripe was eager to overthrow the good King Sharkface and all of his allies. As he hunted, he came up with a plan, a plan that was not only clever, but would let him eat his enemies after locking them up in the dungeon. He called to Mooncat and Sir Razorblade and told them his nefarious plan.


All three grinned evilly and set about Whitestripe’s plan. Mooncat jumped up on Whitestripe’s back and held tight as he and Sir Razorblade ran to the tower.


Their plan would succeed all too well, for one of the king’s protectors, Sir Silverknight was away from the castle that night. Mooncat distracted Sharptooth, the ogre, while Whitestripe and Sir Razorblade grabbed the king and threw him in the dungeon. Sir Razorblade searched the castle until he was able to find some of Sir Silverknight’s armor. He put it on, carefully closing the helmet face so he couldn’t be recognized. He then went out to Sharptooth, raising the alarm and telling him that the king had been thrown into the dungeon.


Sharptooth was outraged and immediately went with the disguised Sir Razorblade to aid in the “rescue” attempt. As they reached the barred door, Sir Razorblade stepped back, begging the ogre to go first. The ogre lifted his club just as the invisible Mooncat swung the door open and Whitestripe rushed the ogre, knocking him off his feet and rolling him into the dungeon. Mooncat quickly shut the door again and the three of them barred the door, laughing loudly as they went upstairs to take over the castle.


A few days later, Sir Silverknight returned. Before he got into the castle, he overheard the loud laughter of Sir Razorblade. He hid behind a tree and listened as Sir Razorblade sang a song, boasting of how he’d imprisoned the king and his ogre guard. Sir Silverknight snuck up behind Sir Razorblade and knocked him out. He stole his armor and axe and dressed up like the evil knight, gaining easy entry to the castle.


Sir Silverknight headed directly for the dungeon. The guards ignored him, thinking that he was Sir Razorblade. Sir Silverknight had just pulled the axe and begun to cut down the bars on the dungeon when Sir Razorblade showed up.

Class C

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a stone castle where a king and queen lived with their daughter.


The white castle with bricks of gray was beautifully decorated with large flags flying from the high towers. A deep, deep basement protected all the citizens from tornadoes. While guards helped to keep the castle safe—especially from the monster that some said walked the corridors of the castle. In one corner of the castle was a jail with barred windows.


King Derek had reigned long in the kingdom where he’d been born 69 years previously. The tall and skinny white king had a shiny crown of jewels and metals. He wore a beautiful cape that set off his gray and orange beard.


His wife, Queen Mara, had beautiful brown skin and eyes with long, puffy hair that flowed down to her feet. The 100-year-old queen loved to wear pretty pink dresses decorated with flowers and jewels. Her royal robe was purple, covered in gold stars. Her teeth were green and her most prized possession was a sword which never left her side.


The Princess Boogalie had charmed everyone in the kingdom with her kind ways, beauty, and melodic laughter. There had never been a princess quite like her before. Her skin reflected all the peoples of the land, striped in browns, yellows, and greens. She was always in the company of birds who liked to ride in her long, blond hair. Beside her would travel her pet frog and pet dog Bianca. She loved to wear blue and her sky-colored dresses.

Class D

Once upon a time, there was a huge castle. On the outside it was breathtakingly beautiful. From the parapets flew brightly colored flags and streamers. Sweet-smelling flowers climbed the walls, splashing their joyful colors everywhere.


Inside the castle, things were very different. Inside, gloom was everywhere and spider webs hung in every corner. Monsters lurked in dark rooms. Rumors said that the Loch Ness monster dwelt deep in the cellar waters and that Dracula stalked the halls, sucking blood from unwary residents.


Many people called this castle home. There were the residents whose hearts matched the outside of the castle—the friendly Princess Alisa who wore long, beautiful dresses and a gold crown. Her best friend was the good witch Emily, a happy, tall woman with bushy eyebrows who lived with her in the castle. Keeping the witch and the princess company was the vixen Rose, a playful fox with a fluffy tail and a soft coat. Rose entertained her friends with her ballet dances—for never had there been a fox who could dance the ballet as well as Rose.


Then there were the residents whose hearts were as gloomy and wretched as the castle’s inside. An evil vampire stalked the halls. He’d stick out his tongue as he sucked blood and often cast harmful spells. His sharp fangs gleamed in the dark as he walked backwards through the castle hallways. He had long hair that went down to his shoes, flowing over the cape that let him fly.

His companion was an evil kitty named Chloe. She had bat wings and sharp teeth. She’d scream out “ah! Ah! Ah!” like a bat as she flew through the halls. She was a fat cat who kept her wife hidden away and would stamp around and get really angry whenever she saw strangers. She had a bald head with really long hair on the rest of her body.


The leader of these two evil cohorts was a zombie whose Ninja-turtle shaped head and long nose was on her paper belly with fat teeth sticking out of them. Her hands had long, sharp claws. She and her two bats would set up an alarm whenever strangers approached. This zombie was especially annoying because she would sneak up and eat other people’s food—even the food of the other evil people.