If your kids were out an hour past the time you expected them....

*emeleel* · #1 03-02-2006, 10:28 AM

...wouldn't YOU start calling and/or driving around to find out where they are at?! I'm talking kids around 10, 12, here, not older teens. (Although I think most of us would be doing the same for teens, too.)

The kids have made friends with several of the children that walk home past our house in the afternoons on their way home from school. (We live 3 blocks from an elementary school.) One brother/sister set has especially taken up with my two, mostly the brother. And they've come to church with us the last 3 Wednesday nights. Church lets out around 8:00, and usually people stay around to talk for a while, so we might go home anywhere between then and 8:30. The last two Weds. the mom came and picked the kids up. Well, last night they called again after church was over for her to come pick them up. Apparently there was some misunderstanding because she didn't come.... and she didn't come.... and she didn't come....

9:00 the girl tried to call her mom again, no answer. Okay, maybe she's on her way. 9:20, I finally told the kids it was time for story time and then Neil and Kate would just have to wait while my two went on to bed. 9:35, Kate tried again to call her mom. No answer.

I'm starting to seriously worry at this point, although the mom only lives a few blocks away, we probably would have seen police or an ambulance if she'd had a wreck in that distance. But she called right back (caller ID) and apparently was mad at the kids from the end of the conversation I could hear. Sounded like she didn't know she was supposed to be picking them up.

I don't understand it. I'd be going looney tunes if my kids were still out at that hour and I'd be all over the place trying to find out where they were at and why they hadn't gotten back home yet. Like I said, she only lives a few blocks away, it's not like she was halfway across town and would be afraid of crossing paths if she left the house. They seem like fairly nice folks, but they're a little "off" in some ways.

Or maybe I'm just the weird one.

**mtomm**[$] · #2 03-02-2006, 11:16 AM

If the kids had not called me by 9:00 I'd have been calling your house! That is really late on a school night. In fact, I'd have probably started calling earlier if I knew you got home around 8:30.

*emeleel* · #3 03-02-2006, 01:20 PM

Well, the thing is, they did call while they were still at church - probably around 8:15 or so. (I wasn't there, Erin had a fever last night and I kept her in.) But I don't understand why she didn't call back or come out when they had not arrived, if she thought that WE were bringing them back!

**mtomm**[$] · #4 03-02-2006, 02:04 PM

So then I'd keep calling. In no way would I have expected you to bring them home.

**pippadaisy**[$] · #5 03-02-2006, 02:22 PM

And why didn't she answer when the kids called???

**drmomentum**[$] · #6 03-02-2006, 02:41 PM

That's whack.

*emeleel* · #7 03-02-2006, 03:16 PM

Quote:

And why didn't she answer when the kids called???

I dunno - bathroom?

**hadassahchana**[$] · #8 03-02-2006, 04:16 PM

For over an hour?

I would be frantic by that point, and would have come to your house about ten times to find the Horsemen if they ever disappeared. #1 decided to ride his bike late one night, left a note for me which I didn't see, and when I got out of the shower, found that he was gone. After I called all of our friends to start searching, I called the police and everyone found him at once- he was just riding around in the park, and had been gone about 20 minutes. Imagine what I'd do given an entire hour to worry!

**pippadaisy**[$] · #9 03-02-2006, 04:17 PM

Yeah. What Cindy said. WTF? And if my kid/kids were MIA and I DID have to spend an hour in the bathroom, I'D TAKE THE PHONE!

jenninca · #10 03-02-2006, 10:39 PM

Welcome to my world. We have kids who are not picked up from school until an hour after school gets out. When we have tutoring (gets out at 3:50), it's common to have kids still there at 4:15 and unable to reach anyone. There's kids who I won't hesitate to keep after school to do work because I know nobody's going to be looking for them anyway. Kids will have a fever of 103 and parents won't come pick them up from the clinic until four hours and five phone calls later. Parental apathy is rampant at my school!

Cindy
who just came home from conference night and is feeling angry at all the parents who set an appointment and didn't show

**jgibson2**[$] · #11 03-07-2006, 02:38 PM

Back when I had kids in school, I used to volunteer a lot. Often I heard, "Mrs. G, you're a nurse, can you look at this?"

I could write a book about sorry parents, but the worst was probably the mom of the kid who was having panic attacks. His mom had sent in a couple of small tablets in an envelope with no pharmacy label and no physician order with instructions to give him one and repeat the dose in 5 minutes if it didn't work.

HER Xanax. He told us so. He did have a prescription himself, because she'd had to take him to the ER over the weekend with a panic attack, but hadn't bothered to get his prescription filled - also per the kid.

The school secretary didn't know most of the story and gave the kid the first pill while they were hunting me down. I declined to give him the second dose and called the mom at work. The conversation went something like this.

Me: Mrs. X? Your son seems to be having a panic attack. He says he had one over the weekend and that you took him to the ER. I have him breathing into a paper bag and it doesn't seem to be helping. We really need you to come to the school.

Her: I can't come right now. Did you give him the Xanax?

Me: The school secretary didn't know that she needed a physician order to give a prescription medication, so she gave him the first one.

Her: Give him another one.

Me: We can't do that. It's a violation of school policy and state law.

Her: Have the secretary give it to him.

Me: I can't allow her to do that either. If you want him to have another dose, you'll have to come give it to him yourself.

Her: Let me speak to the principal!

Me: She's right here.

Principal: Mrs. X. We can't give your son any more Xanax. It's a violation of school policy and state law to give a prescription medication without a physician order.

.......

Principal: We really need you to come to the school.

........

Principal: If you won't come, we will have to call 911 and have him taken to the hospital.

........

Principal: The hospital will insist that you come.

Principal hangs up the phone, calls 911 and sends me off to the hospital in the ambulance with the young man. She sent the school secretary to follow the ambulance so I'd have a ride back. While waiting for his mother, I got the whole story from the kid - it was mom's Xanax. He'd been started on Prozac recently which can have the side effect of causing panic attacks. Mom thought he was just trying to get attention.

**theworm**[$] · #12 03-07-2006, 03:00 PM

Please let someone intervene for that kid. He's going to have some serious problems.

*emeleel* · #13 03-07-2006, 03:04 PM

The latest story:

Didn't see hide nor hair of the kids on Thursday or Friday, but Saturday afternoon, the boy knocked on the door and asked if he could come play. Okay, mom's out in the van, I wave, the boy comes in, she leaves.

Dinner time comes and I ask if he needs to call his mom to come pick him up or do we need to walk him home. So he tries to call, and doesn't get anyone. At some point I asked about his mom and he tells me, "My mom's out of town."

I have to confess, the first thought that ran through my mind was, she didn't just drop him off here and leave town did she?!

No, that was actually a friend of his mom's - and I never did get it clear whether the friend was staying at their house, or whether they were staying at the friend's house. I know he called his own house, but I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he and his sister were staying at the friend's house, but he called his own (empty) house. Wouldn't be a bit surprised.

So DH and the kids walk him home (I may be getting some events out of order), and they all come back because there is nobody home. No way to contact anyone.

So I feed the boy, and about an hour later the van shows back up with sister, who comes to the door to get him. I let them know I didn't appreciate him being left without any way to get in touch with anyone - I had no idea where he was staying, who to get in touch with, when they were going to come back, nothing.

Haven't seen him since then, either. And I'm just betting that they're not allowed to stay here in the afternoons anymore, after the Wednesday fiasco, but that he slipped it in with the babysitter on Saturday.

I have to admit, if he gets banned from our house I won't cry over it. He's a nice enough kid I suppose, in his own way, but he's just on a different wavelength, different standards, etc. And boy, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer - when he finished dinner Sat. night, I asked him if he wanted seconds, or dessert, and he just gave me this big blank grin and said, "I don't know!" I asked again and he gave me the same answer! I had to *make* him choose!

jenninca · #14 03-07-2006, 07:38 PM

I think I could write a book, and then some. Toooo many parents just should NOT be allowed to keep the kids that they have.

Cindy

**hadassahchana**[$] · #15 03-08-2006, 03:34 PM

Cindy and Judy, what awful stories! I think that children's welfare is my very biggest hot button ever, and it just makes me furious when people pput their own wants, issues etc. before the needs of their children.

**mtomm**[$] · #16 03-08-2006, 03:51 PM

Okay, I fess up to forgetting my daughter at school once. She sat quietly on a chair in the hallway waiting for me. She waited about a 1/2 hour before my son's teacher noticed her but by then I was on my way to get her.

I feel better confessing it. In fact, I confess it often as I'm still trying to assuage myself of the guilt. I have never left one of my kids in their car seat on top of the car though.

jenninca · #17 03-09-2006, 08:03 AM

Margo, that is NOTHING! Trust me on that!

eris esoteric · #18 03-09-2006, 08:24 AM

Quote:

hadassahchana said

Cindy and Judy, what awful stories! I think that children's welfare is my very biggest hot button ever, and it just makes me furious when people pput their own wants, issues etc. before the needs of their children.

And y'all wonder why I don't want to have any kids.

**mtomm**[$] · #19 03-09-2006, 10:32 AM

I asked my daughter last night if she remembered when I forgot her at school. She said yes. (Ahh, the guilt! Of course, kids remember everything that is not important.) She reminded me that her brother passed her on his way to lunch and made no attempts to help her. What a guy!