Do you have to be American to be PTA President?

wivabef · #1 05-26-2006, 01:21 AM

Please say you do have to be a citizen.

Our school PTA is about to go Presidentless.

The current President has asked me a number of times if I would run.

No, Elyzabeth, say No.

And I do. I say no.

Then they sent out a letter with the kids saying how dire a need it is...

I get to thinking, well, if they would consider a co-president...

NO ELYZABETH SAY NO.

...as long as there were someone to do the stupid megaparty fundraisers...

NO ELYZABETH....NO NO NO.

They need people....

NO ELYZABETH...

...

So far, I am holding out. The meeting is June 6 to decide what to do.

But there are nearly 500 kids in the school. Surely, a mom or dad out there would step up.

I honestly couldn't do it.

It's bad enough the phone calls I get at the house with the Scouts and Church and the paper.

Still, there is this side of me that says someone needs to do it.

NO. That someone is not me!

I'll do yearbook! I'll do box tops! I'll run the stinkin' Elf Shop.

But, it would be so much easier if I had to be a citizen. Then the No would stand firm.

ms_n · #2 05-26-2006, 01:47 AM

You're not one of those people who can't say no, are you? There's a teacher friend where I work who has this problem. We're teaching her the ways of No. Somehow you will be able to juggle all the stuff you already do and this too, but Geez,

Just say, "NO!"

...and enjoy being president.

**pippadaisy**[$] · #3 05-26-2006, 05:58 AM

Elyzabeth, SAY NO! You are already a Girl Scout leader. And you have a job. And you do 800 other things.

Make, her, let someone else have a turn.

**mjfrombuffalo**[$] · #4 05-26-2006, 08:11 AM

They don't need a reason, and trying to give them one will only give them the chance to rationalize the reasons away and convince you to do it.

"I'm awfully honored that you think so much of me. I am sure you'll find someone else to do it in my place." Smile and walk away. Don't say "but," "however," or "at this time."

frazzledspice · #5 05-26-2006, 08:25 AM

I was a PTA President for about three years, way back when. PTA's do important things. On the national and local levels, they are children's advocates with legislatures and school boards, and the advocacy level was what I was most interested in.

Being a PTA President can be very rewarding IF you have the help you need, especially running those pesty committees like the Elf Shop or School Fair or Hospitality.

Only you can gauge how much help is out there. If it's plentiful, and you will be more or less coordinating a well-run team of volunteers, I'd give it a try.

If not, run, Elyzabeth, run!

cristina1 · #6 05-26-2006, 08:29 AM

If you don't want to do it, then just politely decline.

Of course, I may not be the one to ask. Sooner and I were just sworn in as co-VP's.

**lynnzop**[$] · #7 05-26-2006, 09:05 AM

What MJ and Tina said.

Y'all probably know 1/10th of what I do. Besides running a household, having a full-time (stressfull) job, running my jewelry business, writing for 3 web sites, publishing for 4 web sites...I still do a lot of volunteer stuff. A month ago, a couple at church approached me about doing VBS again this year. I politely declined, citing that 1) I don't have time and 2) my child will not be in VBS this year, so I have no vested interest. (I should have probably just stuck with NO.) They continued to pressure me (I don't like these people anyway, and this just drove another nail into that relationship coffin) and I continued to politely but firmly say "NO." I did suggest a couple of other names, they did ask those folks, and they did get their volunteer.

The volunteer pool is deep, but those who are looking don't venture out beyond shallow waters. There are a LOT of folks out there who maybe just need to be asked, be encouraged, and if someone doesn't do it, they won't step up.

If you're already stretched and it sounds like you are doing more than your fair share already, stick to your guns. Sure, it can be rewarding, but it can also make you sour on volunteering and affect the other areas of your life that you truly have passion for.

jenninca · #8 05-26-2006, 09:25 AM

Several teachers at my (former, after today) school think our PTA is going to have to dissolve after next year. We have basically three volunteers. This year, #1 had a fourth grader (and three high schoolers), #2 had a fifth grader and a fourth grader, and #3 had a fourth grader and a first grader. After next year, they're down to one volunteer with kids still in the school, and no new prospects in sight. Teachers make up 2/3 of the PTA board. I think volunteers are getting harder to find everywhere.

Cindy

*emeleel* · #9 05-26-2006, 10:49 AM

Wivabef, don't forget Sara's current tagline:

Quote:

Stress: What happens when your gut says no and your mouth says, "Of course, I'd be glad to."

cristina1 · #10 05-26-2006, 12:04 PM

Quote:

The volunteer pool is deep, but those who are looking don't venture out beyond shallow waters. There are a LOT of folks out there who maybe just need to be asked, be encouraged, and if someone doesn't do it, they won't step up.

This is true. We had problems finding a treasurer for next year, and finally one of the incoming kindergarten dads agreed to do it. If worse comes to worse, let them have the VP become president and look for a VP next year. I know what crazy schedules can be like, and don't feel obligated if you don't want to do it - someone else will eventually step up to the plate instead.

We do a lot of volunteering, too - I'm homeroom mom, on the committee to select and help other homeroom parents, co-VO of the PTA, I had to order and sort the fun fair prizes and help set up the fun fair, Sooner's the cub scouts webmaster and I'm the secretary with both of us taking committes, Sooner coaches little league. This is on top of him working full time, me part time, I babysit a one year old full time (thankfully, he takes long naps...lol), and I have three school aged kids come on school mornings for about an hour.

wivabef · #11 05-26-2006, 12:17 PM

Yes, I think I need to say No. And I am honored. But I also think it is the old "path of least resistance." People tend to levitate toward "yes" people.

Cindy... I have found that just when something seems like it will dissolve, people step up. For years people have been saying the cooperative school my daughter attended would close. But people step forward in the nick of time.

I think that will be the case with your school and with my PTA.

You're all right. I have to say "No." Plus, I will be needing to be at two schools next year. I absolutely will be involved with Haley's school...middle schoolers scare me! They have attitude quite early.

**jgibson2**[$] · #12 05-26-2006, 01:09 PM

I was asked to be secretary for our Boy Scout troop committee. I said "Ask me again in a month if nobody else volunteers.'

Somebody volunteered.

Say NO. You can always change your mind later if nobody else steps up.

cristina1 · #13 05-26-2006, 01:24 PM

Judy, my loving husband volunteered me to be secretary. He never discussed it with me. I read about it on the website.

*emeleel* · #14 05-26-2006, 02:34 PM

You read about it on the website?! He didn't even bother to tell you in person after volunteering?!

I hope Sooner paid for that one.

frazzledspice · #15 05-26-2006, 03:44 PM

You are right about people looking for volunteers in shallow waters.

One time I was in charge of a committee for a big project, and I called up a stay-at-home Mom with two older children in school to ask her if she could play a big role in this project.

"No," she told me. "I'm getting a job."

"Oh, congratulations," I said with the politically correct amount of enthusiasm... "Where will you be working?"

"Well, I don't actually have the job yet," she continued. "And I don't have an interview yet," she continued. "But I saw an ad in the paper and was thinking about writing a letter on it."

I was so astonished that it was lucky I was on the phone and she couldn't see my face.

At the time (early 1980's) I was a stay-at-home Mom, too, but my children were much younger, and the amount of volunteering I did was probably almost equivalent to having a FT job...

"I must remember this conversation when I want to say "No'" I thought. "That 'getting a job' can mean seeing an ad in the newspaper and idly wondering if I should send in a letter about it..."

ms_n · #16 05-26-2006, 05:03 PM

I'm glad you are going to say "no". You are. You are. The teacher I know who is learning to say "no" is much less stressed. Have fun with all the stuff you are already doing.

cristina1 · #17 05-26-2006, 08:17 PM

Quote:

emeleel said

You read about it on the website?! He didn't even bother to tell you in person after volunteering?!

I hope Sooner paid for that one.

He said, "I worked on the website! Check it out and see what you think!"

I guess that was his way of telling me.

**pippadaisy**[$] · #18 05-26-2006, 08:23 PM

And yet he lives. Or at least, you claim he lives. He hasn't been around lately.

**Helen_B**[$] · #19 05-27-2006, 10:59 PM

Elyzabeth, I'm glad you're considering giving someone else this opportunity. Don't deprive some other parent of their chance to shine. You're the only one who can be a mom to your kids, and it's no fun when you're stretched too thin.

**conradd** · #20 05-31-2006, 03:01 PM

Quote:

ms_n said

Just say, "NO!"

...and enjoy being president.

wivabef · #21 06-06-2006, 08:45 PM

Tonight is the PTA Executive Board Meeting.

Note where I am not.