Hello parents...

[Magick1]

long time no pester.

I just have a quick second and had a question. My 4 year old (who is learning how to tell time) is getting more headstrong about the night time and the routine.

She is completely fighting me if it's too early, running to the curtains, pulling them open & advising it's still day, and pointing to the clock telling me it's before 8pm, etc.

Any suggestions on how to turn this around? We have always had some struggles, but now it's getting to her. She's getting little bags/dark circles under her eyes & she is really no longer napping at daycare (possibly 20 minutes 1 or 2 times a week) and she's getting very grumpy, throwing fits, etc.

Any tips?

Thanks in advance, I really appreciate you & miss you guys/gals a lot. I had a quick break at work and thought I would throw this out to you!

[pippadaisy[$]]

I'm not much help. I simply explain... in a slightly loudish voice... that I'M the mommy and *I* say it's bedtime.

[Magick1]

pippadaisy said

I'm not much help. I simply explain... in a slightly loudish voice... that I'M the mommy and *I* say it's bedtime.

Oh, we have had that numerous times. But, she doesn't accept it, or gives a major meltdown which delays betime (for her) for a while.

I usually walk out of her room when that starts!

[pippadaisy[$]]

There's a big difference between an only and 1 of 4, too. I also have pointed out that if we want to go based on how light it is, bedtime shall commence at 5 PM during the winter. I've done it, too.

[conradd]

OMG, she's 4 already?

I like Pippa's strategy. I had the same conversation, numerous times, with Shane. Finally I gave him the option of setting his own bedtime as long as he got up the next morning without being called more than twice, and didn't complain about being tired.. The first two nights, he tested it, keeping us both up far past the normal time, but when he was required to get up with a smile on his face the next morning, he set bedtime at the same time I'd suggested all along. Go figure.

[emeleel]

Are you trying to get her to bed before 8? Was that her normal time but now she needs more sleep?

[phoenixx]

I'm not a parent, just stopped by to say nice to see you

[theworm[$]]

Have you tried black out curtains and duct tape?

Sorry - I'll leave it to the mommies to help
Nice to see you though!

[emeleel]

LOL! Is the duct tape for the curtains - or the wee one?

[theworm[$]]

I'll leave that for the mommies to advise her on.

[pippadaisy[$]]

theworm said

Have you tried black out curtains and duct tape?

Sorry - I'll leave it to the mommies to help
Nice to see you though!

Were you channeling Leslie???

[hadassahchana[$]]

I stopped being a mom at 8 p.m. every night. I would read to them, kiss them, make sure they had a drink, then I would tell them I was off duty. If they camedownstairs I wouldn't talk to them or acknowledge them in any way. I didn't make eye contact, if they tried to get a snack I would silently take it and put it away and then go back to my book.

And then, what Deb said - they had to get up and be happy and nice. It didn't take very long for them to just give up and go to bed at the right time.

With mine, I think they wanted the drama as much as they wanted to stay up. When they were ignored, it got boring in a hurry.

[Magick1]

Duct tape?

That brings up too many possibilities.

I love the "off duty" idea. I think drama is exactly what little miss is looking for, just to be involved and with mom or dad, you know.

That might work. I have tried it a little before but she always tugged at my heart strings because she would have the cries and the sad little puppy dog eyes...but, that's all a ploy. She works us very well! (Can you tell?)

My baby usually goes to bed about 8, but when she started cutting back on her naps, we were doing roughly 7:30ish. But, she's into karate at least 3 nights a week, and we don't even get home until 7:15 ish and she needs time to chill out too (like we all do).

Now, naps are basically all done and we are now trying at 8 to get her down, but she's wiggling, talking, etc until 9 - 9:15 sometimes even 9:45 to 10:00. It's just she's not getting enough sleep and the bags are coming out under her eyes and I know she's tired. But she fights it all of the time.

Thanks for the suggestions and the funnies (I need some good laughs!)

Keep them coming! Here's a pretty current photo of the baby.

[emeleel]

Okay, the baby dino on her uniform headband is just too cute.

Erin used to pull the "one more drink of water", "one more potty trip", "got a question for you, mom" thing on me every night. I rarely pull out the bribing guns, but that's what I did for that one. Made up a bunch of paper "sleep tickets" and if she got in bed and stayed, with no more than one trip out then she got a ticket. When she collected something like 20 of them (long enough to enforce the habit) then she got to pick out one thing at the Target dollar spot.

[mtomm[$]]

I just usually ended up in bed with them.

I wished I'd have thought of Cindy's idea.

[jgibson2[$]]

I went off duty at bedtime too. They got to deal with dad if they got out of bed. While he was lots of fun until bedtime, he was NOT fun if they got up when they were supposed to be sleeping. Not mean, just all business.

[Magick1]

I kind of wish I could go off duty. DH is doing karate too, and his work schedule is bonkers, some nights he dosn't even get home 'til roughly 9 - 9:30, so little miss would not have anyone to go to!

Gah....that probably would fix things pretty quickly then wouldn't it?

Thanks again for the suggestions. I might have to design & print up some coupons too & see how that idea plays out.

I have a lot of things to try.

Duct tape is looking really good too!

[lynnzop[$]]

Hi Kim!!!! Missed you.

I love the idea of "off duty". I usually just turn into Queen B after the clock has ticked by the time of bedtime, but maybe I should do the ignoring thing. Even at 13 1/2, there is still the fight at bedtime.

My goodness, she is getting to be a beauty. I love her Lil' Dragons headband. What belt is she? Does she love it?? Our dojo doesn't let the kids start until they are 5, but they are so darned cute at that age.

[wivabef]

My kids don't want to be around me at bedtime. I'm a complete bitch. I kiss them, hug them, tell them I love them, and then I say "go to bed." When they would whine, I would say "go to bed."

But
Go to bed.
I'm thirsty.
Go to bed.
I need to read.
Go to bed.

I can out redundant them ... 8:30 is when the ME hours begin.

Be as stubborn as her. It will work. Don't be nice. Don't be mean. Just be bland and say, with no inflection whatsoever and without even getting up...

Go to bed.

[hadassahchana[$]]

Kim, she's adorable! She looks like such a happy little ladybug. And so big- when did that happen??

I love karate for the little guys. Our dojo lets them start at 3 in Little Dragons. At the first tournament the boys were in, one of the Little Dragons got overexcited during his sparring round and ran back to his mom - and proceeded to sit in her lap and nurse. I thought he was just the cutest Little Dragon ever.

[pippadaisy[$]]

Four at ours. Except in the case of Bug, who was, er, asked not to return for a while after starting a fist fight.

We are looking into piano for him.

[Magick1]

Right now, the babester is a white belt, with 3 "stripes". They do their katas and "test" and have to have a least 2 stripes when belt exams come in order to be promoteable (if that's the right word). She will test for her yellow 9/20.

She started the end of April. They hold a 3 day trial period for the kids and parents to meet the instructor, sit in a few classes and if they like it then you can sign up.

Bren had been in tap dancing, but it was the same ole same ole from the teacher, nothing different week to week. Karate, it's different every class and t