What Non-Parents Learn From Hosting a 10-year-old Sans Parental Unit

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

1) I always wondered why my friends with kids were always doing laundry stuff. "I have to do a load of laundry after work." "I can't keep up with the laundry." "There's always piles of laundry to fold." Etc. Hell, I do three loads (sometimes four) a week on Saturday.

Guest Child was in my care and custody less than 12 hours and I was doing three - THREE - extra loads of laundry. On a Wednesday. One child.

2) If you let a kid play in a fountain, make him take his socks and sneakers off first. Otherwise his feet turn white and lizard-looking, which is really cool to look at and take pictures of but apparently isn't very comfortable for walking around the city.

[thinkerlady[$]]

You are making me laugh lady. Have you attempted to feed him yet??

[pluckyduck]

Ah, but if you let your teenagers run around in used clothes because, well, they are old enough to do their own damn laundry and if they don't, too bad for them.......... ............. there isn't as much laundry as you think.

10 is probably too young for this but then again.......

[lynnzop[$]]

snort.........

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

3) As hard as it was to deal with my own braces, it is harder when you are the adult trying to get food into the child who just had his first wires put on less than 24 hours before being shipped to you. Especially when the child does not like scrambled eggs.

4) Young children are great for getting ER staff to process paperwork needed for admitting your FIL when it's close to 10pm. "Can you let this woman know what is going on already?! She has a young child with her and has to get him home!"

[thinkerlady[$]]

Uh oh. What happened to you FIL???

[jgibson2[$]]

MJ,
Ibuprofen in the largest dose allowed by the kid's pediatrician -- which is likely to be higher than the dose posted on the label.

Also, any kind of soft noodles, BBQ or other cooked until squishy chicken, rice, canned pasta, and lots of ice cream. Kids will always eat ice cream and it has milk in it.

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

FIL: through-the-roof blood sugar got him there, where they found pancreatitis.

Guest Child Food: we did ice cream once and he got nauseus afterward. I made pasta, he picked at it. Refused rice, refused mashed potatoes, refused ibuprophen, did take one tylenol twice. But he's a bit... er, "hefty" so he's not likely to become emaciated in five days

5) When out of town, children love calling their parents to say "Guess what! I'm at the hospital!" when they are not the reason for the trip to the hospital. Parents of said children are remarkably humorless about the child's call.

[mtomm[$]]

This is great!

When you're done let's try it with an 11 year old girl!

[thinkerlady[$]]

For the male child, that same mentality remains with them, I believe for life.
Boychild "My knee hurts"
Mother What did you do to it?
Boychild "I don't know, but it hurts"
Mother Shall I call the doctor?
Boychild, No. I have to play basketball.

So I figure, when it hurts enough he can call the doctor.

[lynnzop[$]]

Amen Angie. And explaining that you are the Mother Bear protecting her cub is not likely to get you any points either.

MJ, having fun yet?

[thinkerlady[$]]

MJ How is FIL today???
Are you having fun yet with your guest?

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

FIL is stable but fair in ICU now

6) Taking a day trip that used to involve grabbing wallet, car keys, water bottles, sunscreen and bug spray now involves a bag of towels, two changes of Guest Child clothing, miscellaneous snacks, a Game Boy, and a frisbee.

7) Hubby is very good at getting kids to learn math. I am very good at telling a child who is playing with a Game Boy that NOW is the time to "put down the game, come to the table, sit your butt in that chair and EAT THE MACARONI AND CHEESE YOU ASKED ME TO HEAT FOR YOU because we are Not. Stopping. For. Food. on the way to the lighthouse.

Oh, and we had to stop for food on the way to the lighthouse. Because while I succeeded in getting Guest Child to eat breakfast, I struck out with Man Child and he got whiny around 11am.

[jgibson2[$]]

Doesn't matter. You can feed a 10 yo at 8am and he'll still be hungry at 11. 13 yo will be hungry by 9. Shoes went from size 7.5 to 9 in about 3 months.

Man child: no excuses for him.

[thinkerlady[$]]

Ahhh MJ. Welcome to my world. Only my boychild is 21. And he is ALWAYS HUNGRY. Hubby is just as bad.

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

Guest Child is rarely hungry, which works out well. And for some reason, this child never has to pee. Every other kid I've ever met has to pee every 20 minutes. Yes, I am making sure he has water and other cold tastee beverages available and that he drinks them when it is hot.

[Prepoia[$]]

He sounds more like my kids were at that age. Don't worry. He's old enough to speak up if he gets hungry and is too old to wet his pants if he needs to go. Just enjoy.

[wivabef]

You must not be stopping at enough public places. I have yet to know a child who can pass up a public restroom.

Also, you seem to have avoided car sickness. Are you taking public transportation.

This is sounding entirely too easy.

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

I swear, every time we're near a bathroom I say "Do you have to stop?" and he doesn't.

8) The child who never has to use the restroom will suddenly have to use the restroom for a #2 when you are in the MIDDLE of a 500-foot snaking security line to get to the top of the Empire State Building.

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

9) K9 is a terrific product for people with Guest Children visiting. It barks LOUD when the kid goes somewhere he shouldn't, locks him out after a third try, and the kid suddenly learns not to try to go there again. It also blocks EAForums, specifically that last post for some reason.

[emeleel]