Corrupt A Wish

[drmomentum[$]]

Granted, but it turns out the coral is illegal and you've got to keep your aquarium hidden for fear you will be turned in!

I wish I had an Orange Julius stand near where I work.

-JP

[wivabef]

drmomentum said

I wish I had an Orange Julius stand near where I work.

-JP

Granted, except just after you purchase the $100 OJ gift card, the recent frost in Florida kills all the world's oranges and forces them to make them from Tang.

I wish I could find a pair of comfortable heels to fit my excessively wide feet.

[Tashicat]

granted, but you get Athlete's foot

I wish someone would come smoke with me

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

granted, but it's my dizty coworker who gabs your ear off about shoes.


I wish it was Free Cone Day at Ben and Jerry's again today.

[hadassahchana[$]]

Granted, but the only flavour they have left is mango mint.

I wish I had a double mojito.

[wivabef]

hadassahchana said

Granted, but the only flavour they have left is mango mint.

I wish I had a double mojito.

Granted.


(I want one, too... no corruption here!)

[theworm[$]]

Granted. You both have one, but I'm there and I get to drink them both.

I wish the yarn store was open

[hadassahchana[$]]

Granted, but all they have left are ooky colours of a scratchy synthetic.


I wish the alpine nursery was open this weekend.

[wivabef]

Granted, but it also happens to be the weekend the Garden Pests of North American and Alpine Gardens is open and they eagerly hire a charter to your beloved haunt. You can get a lot of garden pests on a motorcoach, btw.

I wish I never had to shave my legs and pits again!

[hadassahchana[$]]

Granted, but you'll have to wax them instead.



I wish that I lived out in the country.

[theworm[$]]

Granted, but the country is Roumania and you don't speak the language or have any currency.

I wish I felt better.

[hadassahchana[$]]

Granted, but the person yuou have to feel is bald and really funny.

Oh, wait...



I wish it would be hot weather all year long.

[wivabef]

Granted. You're in Death Valley. Without Air Conditioning.

I wish I could lose weight eating only Ben and Jerry's

[theworm[$]]

will not go there.....

[hadassahchana[$]]

wivabef said

I wish I could lose weight eating only Ben and Jerry's

Granted. However, Ben and Jerry's has been bought by the Japanese company which makes:

"Chicken Ice Cream(Kochin Chikin Aisu)It's ice cream like this that almost makes you wish the horrible thought that the avian flu that swept through Japan earlier this year had been a bit more effective. The taste of Chicken Ice Cream goes a long way toward explaining why the birds are described as foul. Though undoubtedly a tasty meat, you'll need to be anything but chicken to get through this ice cream. "

If you don't fancy chicken, it also comes in potato, garlic, spinach, and potato. And raw oyster.



I wish that Moody would stop perching on top of the fridge and pouncing on whoever walks past.

[theworm[$]]

Granted, but now he perches behind the toilet and pounces when you're busy.

I wish that I could hire some good help at work quickly.

[hadassahchana[$]]

Granted, but her voice sounds like nails on a blackboard.

I wish I could force everyone who has my email address to use snopes.com *before* sending me the 'Keith Urban hates America and has cancer so if you forward this three hundred times you will see an angel on your monitor' forward.