Evil Overlord Plot Generator

[erik_kosberg]

http://nielsenhayden.com/overlord/

You can hit “reload” and come up with new plot lines each time. Here’s one I got:

Advice for the Evil Overlord:

Deformed mutants and oddball psychotics have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

Advice for the Hero:

I will not trust a being with an inordinate number of tentacles.

Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):

The recommended method for checking to see if the Hero is still alive is to shoot him in the head.

Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's Sidekick):

I will exercise caution during the Heroic Struggle. Neither the depth of the Hero's anguish over my death nor the heat of his fury to avenge me will bring me back from the dead.

Further Evil (Advice for the Evil Empress):

My Amazon Hordes will wear full body armor, rather than three small triangles of chain mail, which are reserved for dress occasions.



Murphy's Laws of Combat:

The easy way is always mined.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

If you are short of everything except the enemy, you are in combat.

Interchangable parts aren't.

[eris esoteric]

I will not trust a being with an inordinate number of tentacles.

Words to live by. If I knew then what I know now...

[ms_n]

Those are fun. Thanks, Erik.

[drmomentum[$]]

I, too, prefer an ordinate number of tentacles.

[soxfan[$]]

Here's what I got.

Advice for the Evil Overlord:
Should I actually decide to kill the hero in an elaborate escape-proof deathtrap room (water filling up, sand pouring down, walls converging, etc.) I will not leave him alone five-to-ten minutes prior to "imminent" death, but will instead (finding a vantage point or monitoring camera) stick around and enjoy watching my adversary's demise.

Advice for the Starship Captain:
I will design the greatest possible degree of manual back-up into my space vessels, so that when my on-board computer begins to act strangely, I can power it down via a switch located next to my seat on the bridge, and yet not be left totally helpless.

Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Cult Member):
Pick one faith and stay with it. Dilettantism is the mark of an amateur.

Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's One True Love):
I will learn basic mountaineering skills so that when I'm dangling off a cliff the Hero can finish off the Evil Overlord instead of letting him escape in order to rescue me.

Further Evil (Advice for the Evil Empress):
I will neither repress my Beautiful but Wicked Daughter nor smother my Handsome but Evil Son. It's hard enough raising a ruling family these days without extra dysfunctional baggage. No one wants disgruntled offspring suddenly seeing the light and turning Good just because Mummy gave them an unhappy childhood.

Murphy's Laws of Combat:

* All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
* If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
* Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
* Cluster bombing from B-52s and C-130s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.

[eplovejoy]

drmomentum said

I, too, prefer an ordinate number of tentacles.

Is this one of those "I know it when I see it" things, or is there an authoritative source for determining how many tentacles are too many?

Incidentally, this is not a rhetorical question and there is a deadline. It would be a big help if someone could answer before my next blind date.

Unless, of course, (in)ordinate is like (in)flammable, in which case: never mind.

[eris esoteric]

Anything over eight just gives me the willies. I'm not sure what JP would consider ordinate.

[anderclayton]

Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will never tell the hero "Yes I was the one who did it, but you'll never be able to prove it to that incompetent old fool." Chances are, that incompetent old fool is standing behind the curtain.
Advice for the Hero:
Mountains and castles that are shaped like skulls, hideous faces, fists, etc., are the very Lairs of Evil. All visits will be planned accordingly.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Cult Member):
Plan ahead by selecting ceremonial robes that are easy to run in while still affording ample concealment.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's Sidekick):
When selecting a love interest, I will keep an eye out for the spunky, moderately attractive tomboy type who is about my height. The stunningly beautiful ones are probably spies from the Evil Overlord, and are only trying to sweet-talk valuable information out of me or tempt me over to the other side.
Further Evil (Advice for the Evil Empress):
I will promote chivalry and urge my minions to exhibit proper behavior at all times when it is not counterproductive to my schemes. This increases the chance of running up against only chivalric Heroes, as well as increasing the surprise factor when I ditch the pretenses and get really vicious.
Murphy's Laws of Combat:
Tolerances accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty.

Hmm...