Stressing about my mom's gift for xmas

[magenta321]

I know I'm premature, but, I really want to give her the perfect gift.

My dad is unlikely to buy her anything (esp. if I don't buy it for him, and since we're not in the same house any more, getting it in without my mom knowing would be difficult).

She lost her mom this year. This is her first Christmas without mom

So, I'm really the only gift giver she has. Sure, she'll get some odds and ends from coworkers and extended family, but, likely nothing too personal and nothing too special.

So now more than ever, I feel pressure to get her the best gift ever. Normally I'd just spend a lot on her to make up for whatever... but I really should not do that this year.

I want a tangible object for her to open, since that's what she looks forward to.

I want it to be for her, not the house, not the family.

She doesn't want perfume. She doesn't want jewelry. She doesn't want accessories (no cashmere gloves, no purses...). She doesn't want me to spend a lot.

She wants a surprise.

Is an outfit exciting? If I bought her a pretty suit or a nice top and skirt?

That's the best I can come up with.

Either that or a bunch of little things I think she'd like in a basket... L'occitaine hand cream, a nice robe, etc. But that wreaks of "I couldn't afford a nice gift" to me...

She has GPS. She has MP3. She has a laptop. She has a digital camera. Whatever she wants, she buys herself. I can't afford a flatscreen tv big enough to make her happy (I think she has a 55 inch tv currently, and any smaller and she wouldn't be able to read the words on it).

She won't go for facials, manicures, etc. She'll give that to me. She gives all the gift certificates people give her to me. She gives free trips to me.

I want something SHE will use and SHE will enjoy.

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

Nothing to suggest but I didn't realize (or forgot) that your grandmother died.

[lynnzop[$]]

I didn't know your grandma had passed either, Margaret. I know she was very special to you.

As far as a suggestion for your mom...last year, my mom made scrapbooks for all of us. She took old family photos, some memorabilia, put them in a simple book and wrote some cute captions. I love mine, and I know it meant alot to my brother and sister too. Same concept I used in the digital "scrapbook" I made for Mom & Dad's anniversary, which they really enjoyed.

I think something that's a memory (especially if you can include some photos of your grandma) is a far better gift than anything you can buy in a store.

[theworm[$]]

I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. I think a suit or outfit would be a lovely and personal gift. Does she work? Would she wear a suit. Get her a nice out fit that she'll have occasion to wear.

[magenta321]

Thanks for the condolences. It's been a hard loss for both of us. I guess it's never easy for anyone, though.

I think I'm going the route of the basket of luxuries since I started buying some tonight.

If I did go the suit route, no, she can't wear it to work. She wears scrubs at work. She wears suits to church, especially if she's giving out the eucharist stuff, or whatever the right way to say that is. But, I know how hard it is for me to find a suit that fits me well, so, I'm not going to go there with her.

Tonight I bought her silk PJs, spa lotion, almond bath soaps, and belgian chocolates. I think I'm off to a good start, anyway. Just have to keep the soaps away from the chocolates I'm thinking I will put them all in a basket, and use a throw to wrap the basket. I'm sure I'll get some other nice things to put in there as it gets closer.

I bought myself a box of belgian chocolates so I won't get too jealous. I got another box for the gift exchange at work :p

[mtomm[$]]

You could also add to you basket a notebook where you've written about best memories of you, your mother and your grandmother. It would be very enjoyable for you to read it together. There will be so much that you can remember that your mom doesn't. Then encourage her to write her memories in the notebook. This will be a valued family history of sorts and very personal. You'll both enjoy it!

[theworm[$]]

Oh! If you have digital photos or a scanner you can get her one of those electronic slide show picture frames and fill it with photos of you, your mom and your grandma! Some of those frames are very pretty, and she might love the memories!