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12-07-2007, 05:54 PM
|  | Forum Code Administrator | | Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: PA
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Just about every weekend, a man has a party at his house. As many as 50 couples may attend, and he advertises the party on his website. Partygoers are asked to donate money toward food and drink. Some do. Some don't.
Should such a party be legislated as a business and forbidden in a residential area?
Should it be governed by normal noise and nuisance laws that would apply to parties?
Would it make a difference to you if I told you the party was for swingers and involved sex?
Should that make a difference to lawmakers? 'Naked Twister' nights inspire suburb's sex club ban - CNN.com
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Salt makes mistakes taste great. |
12-07-2007, 06:05 PM
|  | In Spanish, I'm Marijuana | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Lawn-Guy-Land, NY
Posts: 28,784
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Should such a party be legislated as a business and forbidden in a residential area?
Maybe. It's a large volume of people, takes place more than just occasionally, and it seems a large percentage of the "invitees" are not personally known to the host, which sort of takes it out of the party realm.
Should it be governed by normal noise and nuisance laws that would apply to parties?
Yes.
Would it make a difference to you if I told you the party was for swingers and involved sex?
No. Well, maybe I'd want to know the address.
Should that make a difference to lawmakers?
Not really. If someone had a loud Tupperware party out of her house every single weekend, I'd say the situation's the same.
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MJ
It's extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can't find $25 billion dollars to save 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases.~ Bono |
12-08-2007, 09:59 AM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: The Nutmeg State
Posts: 13,553
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Other than it's not my cup of tea, as long as the party goers were not breaking noise or indecency laws, I don't see the problem. |
12-08-2007, 11:00 AM
|  | A Has Been | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Farmersville, TX
Posts: 6,447
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
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12-08-2007, 11:41 AM
|  | Hot and Juicy | | Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: off campus
Posts: 46,319
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
what MJ said |
12-08-2007, 12:03 PM
|  | thread-killa | | Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 17,325
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Hmmmm... I don't know. I have neighbors who bitch to the town CONSTANTLY about my girlfriend's daycare, which has every possible permit you can have. If he's not blasting Bon Jovi on repeat off the back porch like my neighbors are wont to do in the summer when they have their "we're still young even though we're middle-aged" parties, I don't have an issue with it. If the swingers are getting bombed and either driving up my front lawn or having sex on my front lawn? Well, after I posted it to YouTube, then I'd say call the cops, but normal noise/nuisance. We don't need another law. |
12-08-2007, 12:10 PM
|  | Usagi Yojimbo | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: The Birthplace of American Democracy
Posts: 16,716
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
I'd rather have a swingers party next door than the daycare run by the woman who doesn't care whether she's got rats or not on her property.
Also:  The Liquor Problem in All Ages By Daniel Dorchester |
12-08-2007, 12:20 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Granite State
Posts: 10,466
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
No there should not be a law. There should not be half of the laws on the books these days. People have forgotten how to tolerate and how to civily handle... anything, really. |
12-08-2007, 12:41 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Northeast Malibu
Posts: 5,842
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
While homeowner's associations may be a big pain at times, they would deal with this sort of thing faster and without having to involve the city council. I'll have to read our CC & Rs to see if 'sex parties' are banned.  |
12-08-2007, 02:39 PM
|  | Mom of the Four Men | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Canada, sort of
Posts: 17,274
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Oh save me from ever having to live in a place with a homeowners association! That is my idea of sheer hell - I want my own house, my own landscaping, the number of dogs I want etc. There are plenty of anti-noise laws, which I do appreciate but only if the party is very late at night. And I agree with Leslie re people forgetting how to tolerate others. In my neighbourhood, the same neighbours whose son learned to play electric guitar and then drums outside on their deck, at all hours, have complained about my dogs barking. And I rbing them in at the first bark unless they immediately settle. We live in a city and close to other people, not on a farm miles from the nearest neighbour.
As longas those guys would stay off my front lawn (or off theirs, just saying...) then I'm good with it. |
12-08-2007, 02:47 PM
| | In Spanish, I'm Marijuana | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Lawn-Guy-Land, NY
Posts: 28,784
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Quote: hadassahchana said
 And I agree with Leslie re people forgetting how to tolerate others. | I seem to experience it from the other direction, and my perception is people have forgotten how to be considerate of others, limit their own behavior, not cause others untoward inconvenience, not allow their activities to be overly disruptive to others, etc. I'm regularly forced to "tolerate" others because common courtesy isn't common any more. I would try to address these things civilly, but experience has taught me the other party is not likely to be civil in return.
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MJ
It's extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can't find $25 billion dollars to save 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases.~ Bono |
12-08-2007, 03:04 PM
| | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Granite State
Posts: 10,466
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
If I'm in my own home, I'm supposed to limit my actions beyond reason because of someone else's idea of common courtesy? I don't think so. Common courtesy = not lighting up a cigar next to someone who is eating. Tolerance = not caring if your neighbors have a party as long as it is confined to their property and stops being noisy (all good parties are noisy) after 10 - 11 PM. Tolerance = accepting that when a party is going on there may be cars parked on your street where you wouldn't normally see them or maybe want them, and leaving them be because they aren't hurting anyone. Common courtesy = the owners of said cars not parking on lawns or backing into mailboxes, etc. Tolerance = eating in a restaurant where children are and ignoring that they are not behaving as you'd like them to be, because they aren't your kids. Common courtesy = not yakking on your cell phone or talking to your neighbor during a movie. I could go on, but nothing cheeses me off more than the lack of tolerance it takes to impose a private idea of how others should act on someone else. |
12-08-2007, 04:04 PM
| | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Northeast Malibu
Posts: 5,842
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
The good thing about a HOA is that the 'common courtesies' are spelled out in black and white and you sign off on them before buying. Otherwise what is a common courtesy may not be known. |
12-08-2007, 04:24 PM
| | In Spanish, I'm Marijuana | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Lawn-Guy-Land, NY
Posts: 28,784
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Quote: phoenixx said
If I'm in my own home, I'm supposed to limit my actions beyond reason because of someone else's idea of common courtesy? I don't think so. Common courtesy = not lighting up a cigar next to someone who is eating. Tolerance = not caring if your neighbors have a party as long as it is confined to their property and stops being noisy (all good parties are noisy) after 10 - 11 PM. Tolerance = accepting that when a party is going on there may be cars parked on your street where you wouldn't normally see them or maybe want them, and leaving them be because they aren't hurting anyone. Common courtesy = the owners of said cars not parking on lawns or backing into mailboxes, etc. Tolerance = eating in a restaurant where children are and ignoring that they are not behaving as you'd like them to be, because they aren't your kids. Common courtesy = not yakking on your cell phone or talking to your neighbor during a movie. I could go on, but nothing cheeses me off more than the lack of tolerance it takes to impose a private idea of how others should act on someone else. | (emphasis mine) - "reason" being the "common courtesy" to which I was referring - but people's reasoning can often be "It's a free country so I'm going to do whatever the f#$% I want, and tough sh!t if you don't like it."
I was actually referring more to behavior in general than this specific instance, but as for this, I can tolerate (and have tolerated) an occasional party in the neighborhood, and the attendant noise (even past midnight), extra cars, etc.; if it's a kegger every weekend with lots of noise past 10pm, then it's clear to me that my neighbors don't give a crap about anyone but themselves and I shouldn't have to tolerate it. Example: my former downstairs neighbor the bartender bringing home her friends to party loudly every morning at 3am.
As for the other examples, parents used to ask their kids to have at least a little decorum in restaurants (or keep the younger ones at home); if it's not a Mickey Dees and the kids are acting like they're in the park and the parents do not appear to be taking any action to try to quiet them down, I'm not seeing common courtesy or a situation I should have to tolerate. Almost daily I deal with cell-yell on the train, annoying iPods blasting past the point of being a personal music player, people putting wet boots up on train seats while other people stand in the aisles, etc. I was taught "common courtesy" meant that when you're doing whatever you're doing, you try not to disturb or inconvenience others in the process. In return, others will give you some leeway if you blast your ( one) favorite song on the stereo once in a while, hold a big party, or if you absentmindedly block a seat with your bag and not notice someone's interested in sitting there.
Sorry if that "cheeses" you, but putting up with other people's inconsiderate behavior "cheeses" me.
__________________
MJ
It's extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can't find $25 billion dollars to save 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases.~ Bono |
12-08-2007, 04:48 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: The City In A Garden
Posts: 5,237
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
The swingers' parties should be subject to the same noise/disturbance laws that every other party is. That pretty much represents an acceptable community standard. Aside from that, the neighbors (and the city) should butt out -- or wangle an invitation. |
12-08-2007, 04:59 PM
| | A Has Been | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Farmersville, TX
Posts: 6,447
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Looks to me that if the neighbors had wanted to lived in a commercial neighborhood they'd have bought in one. |
12-08-2007, 05:07 PM
| | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Northeast Malibu
Posts: 5,842
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
If you're having a party every weekend, at which there's a 'voluntary contribution' jar, you're running a business. It's like the people who have a yard sale in their front yards every weekend. No one has that much junk. They're gathering it up from other people and running a business. |
12-08-2007, 05:35 PM
| | Mom of the Four Men | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Canada, sort of
Posts: 17,274
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Quote: mjfrombuffalo said
...As for the other examples, parents used to ask their kids to have at least a little decorum in restaurants (or keep the younger ones at home); if it's not a Mickey Dees and the kids are acting like they're in the park and the parents do not appear to be taking any action to try to quiet them down, I'm not seeing common courtesy or a situation I should have to tolerate. Almost daily I deal with cell-yell on the train, annoying iPods blasting past the point of being a personal music player, people putting wet boots up on train seats while other people stand in the aisles, etc. I was taught "common courtesy" meant that when you're doing whatever you're doing, you try not to disturb or inconvenience others in the process. In return, others will give you some leeway if you blast your (one) favorite song on the stereo once in a while, hold a big party, or if you absentmindedly block a seat with your bag and not notice someone's interested in sitting there.
Sorry if that "cheeses" you, but putting up with other people's inconsiderate behavior "cheeses" me. | 
Those things bug me, too. Listening to other peoples' music while on the train drives me crazy, as do those gawdawful cars with the really loud bass. Those people are perfect examples of people who don't give a crap, as is MJ's crap neighbour partying at 3 a.m. Courtesy, to me, involves allowing the neighbours a break if the party is once in a while, but not every weekend night. After all, I have music I like to listen to inside my home, but my neighbour's party music drowns out anything in our house which is not truned up past my comfort level.
As for kids in restaurants, I hate when they really act up. But, I also hate when people start glaring, complaining and making loudand rude comments when my kids even walk in without being polite enough to at least see what's going to happen next. I've paid and walked out without eating exactly once, and I'll bet the guys will never forget that. I think the four hour drive home without eating made a lasting impression on them. I hope the awful couple in South CArolina remember me complaining to the waitress about their rude and loud comments about us, too- I felt absolutely no need to tolerate that behaviour.
Does any of that make sense? I think I need tea.  |
12-08-2007, 08:08 PM
| | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Granite State
Posts: 10,466
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
I thought about this thread today at the store. Watched some chick not only leave her buggy in the parking lot spaces, but push it vaguely toward the grassy area, leaving it to veer and hit another car. She then backed out of the space and drove away. |
12-08-2007, 08:54 PM
| | thread-killa | | Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 17,325
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Cindy, I'm with you. I like hanging wash out on a line, tyvm.
As for the party with contributions, I dunno. No one ever had a rent party in college (or as a young adult?) No one ever belonged to a book club or play group that was always hosted at the same house and kicked in for the pizza/beer? |
12-08-2007, 11:43 PM
| | Mom of the Four Men | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Canada, sort of
Posts: 17,274
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
What's a rent party? |
12-08-2007, 11:44 PM
| | thread-killa | | Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 17,325
| | Re Should There be a Law? | |
Buy a couple of kegs and a bunch of cups. Throw a party. Charge admission that covers the beer+. Pay rent with proceeds. Repeat.  | |
When Poe ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.