From my email:
DEAR DIARY:
AUG. 1
Moved to our new home in Massachusetts.
It is so beautiful here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to
see it
covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE
OCT. 14
New England is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning
all
different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride
through the
hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most
peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE.
NOV. 11
Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such
an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it
will
snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE.
DEC. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It
looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and
shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won).
When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again.
What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE.
DEC. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again that
rascal. A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE.
DEC. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work
this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Damn Snowplow!
DEC. 22
More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from
shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm
done shoveling. That Asshole!
DEC. 25
"White Christmas" my busted ass. More snow. If I ever get my
hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will
castrate the dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on this
freaking ice.
DEC. 28
More of the same shit last night. Been inside since Christmas day except
for
when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried
in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says expect another 10
inches of this shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10
inches is?
JAN. 1
Happy freaking New Year!. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN).
We got 34 inches of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt until the
4th of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and the shit for brains
had
the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I
broke 6
shovels already, shoveling out the shit he plowed into my driveway. I broke
the 7th
shovel over his head.
JAN. 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on
the way
back a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the damn *#! dear. Did
about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would have killed them
all last November.
MAY 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is
rotting away from all the salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It
really looks like a piece of shit.
MAY 10
Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right
mind would want to live in the God forsaken State of Massachusetts. | 
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