Bizarre headlines

*emeleel* · #1 01-10-2005, 09:45 PM

I know editors try to write headlines that will suck you in, but this is the weirdest one I've seen in a while:

Man Eats Raw Duck Before Undies Save Him

Just for fun, I'm NOT going to post the link. Let's see your best entries as to what you think the story said!

**taurusmoon** · #2 01-10-2005, 09:51 PM

No matter what, I'm sure the story isn't all it's quacked up to be.

**theworm**[$] · #3 01-10-2005, 09:59 PM

I figure the man was eating a duck dinner and didn't realize that it wasn't properly cooked until he saw that the duck still had its undies on.

**amykhar** · #4 01-10-2005, 10:19 PM

undercover food inspectors maybe?

**drmomentum**[$] · #5 01-10-2005, 10:22 PM

He was obviously involved in a bet regarding whether his buddy could get a pair of Sandra Bullock's undies. If he lost, he was going to have to eat 3 raw ducks. When his buddy didn't come back in time, he ate the first raw duck. His friend saved him from having to eat the other 2 when he showed up with Sandra Bullock who was, of course, wearing her undies.

It was judged a partial victory and he was released from having to eat the other ducks.

-JP

erik_kosberg · #6 01-10-2005, 10:59 PM

The missing subhead supplies the information that he was a stoner who’d recently had several bong hits of habifropzipilops harvested from the grave sites of Tibetan monks on a full moon. He got the munchies so bad that he ate an uncooked rubber ducky. He would surely have choked to death had not Captain Underpants saved the day, so soon after having learned the Heimlich Maneuver.

*emeleel* · #7 01-11-2005, 09:48 AM

Y'all never disappoint me!

*emeleel* · #8 01-11-2005, 01:38 PM

Oh, and for those wondering - the REAL story:

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20050111/D87HKMN01.html

**theworm**[$] · #9 01-11-2005, 01:38 PM

I had to google last night! I needed to know.
Frankly, I like Eric's version better.