The Break-in

[taurusmoon]

Ever have one of those mornings?

I was about to leave for work this morning when I had second thoughts about the necklace I was wearing. (Yes, I know. How insignificant a thought could I possibly have?)

So, I dug out a different necklace and walked over from my bedroom to my bathroom to look in the mirror and see if the ensemble worked. It worked just fine.

I walked back to the bedroom, turned the doorknob to get back inside and -- insert sinister music -- it wouldn't budge.

It was locked! From the inside! And, there was no one inside!

Although I was only going to be out of the room for about 15 seconds, I can't leave my bedroom door open even for a nanosecond. I simply can't risk a four-legged urine machine sneaking in when I'm not looking. Been there, done that, bought a new mattress. So, I closed the door behind me without giving it a second thought. But, I never, ever, ever move that little locky thing on the knob. Never.

So happened?

No biggie, I told myself. All I needed to do was get a thin pointy object, stick it in the hole of the doorknob and voila! I'd be back inside and on my way to work.

So I head over to the kitchen, come back with a kebob skewer, skewered the knob and voila! nothing happened. I poked around inside the hole. Nada. The lock wouldn't budge.

No problem. I figured I could take the whole lockset apart and work it from the inside. All I needed was a phillip's head screwdriver.

I go search for a screwdriver only to come to the realization that the phillip's head screwdriver is -- you guessed it -- in the bedroom.

So, I called Chip (who atypically left for work before me this morning) and calmly explained the situation. He said, "no problem, go to the garage, there's a screwdriver in there."

My garage is a separate unit behind our apartment complex. Where do you think my garage key was? Yep.

I fought to keep my composure.

"Do you need me to come home?"
"No, I don't think so? What else can I try?"
"Well, go get the channel wrench and use it to try to break the knob."
"I -- sob sob sob -- don't -- sob -- know what a channel wrench looks like -- sob sob."
"It's the one that slides open so that the mouth can fit around a large object."
"I don't see it -- sob sob sob -- where the @#$% is it?"
"It should be there in the drawer."
"It's -- waaaaaaaaah -- not there!"
"I'm coming home."
"Where are you?"
"A few blocks from work. "
"Thank you -- sniff sniff sniff."

Meanwhile, I can't leave well enough alone so I try the skewer a few more times and continue the search for a screwdriver.

I find a small flathead driver and with much determination attempt to remove the screws using the edge of the tool instead of the tip.

After nearly stripping the heads of the screws clean, I finally manage to get the front side of the knob off. I am moments away from success!

I stick my hand inside the lockset and try to pull the latch back and...

Nada. It won't budge.

Ring Ring

"Chipper?"
"Yes Dear?"
I explain the progress so far. "If I shove the back of the knob out of the way, will I be able to move the latch? Or will I be totally screwed?"
"You should be fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Dear."

I hung up, took a deep breath and pushed the back of the knob out of the way and onto the floor of my inaccessible bedroom.

I see the tumbler and try to jog it, figuring that my trial was over.

I was wrong. I couldn't get the latch to budge. No way, no how.

Ring Ring
"Sweetie?"
"Yes Dear?"
"It's -- sob sob sob -- not working. The lock is completely -- sob -- apart and it's still not budging."
"I should be there in a few minutes. Hang tight."
"Where are you?"
"A few blocks from home."
"Okay -- sniff -- Honey."

Never one to leave well enough alone, I attacked the lock once again and, after a couple more minutes of mano a mano with the latch from hell finally got it to release its death grip on my doorframe.

Ring Ring
"Chippiepoo?"
"Yes Dear?"
"I did it! I'm in. So, where are you?"
"Just about home."
"You can turn around and go back to work now."
"Yes Dear."

I then turned to examine the wayward doorknob that now lay on my floor. The locky thingy switch had been moved. It was well into the lock position.

I cautiously reassembled the lockset and tested and retested it with an OCDish persistence. It appeared to be fine.

So, 38 minutes after checking my necklace in the bathroom mirror (did I mention it looks nice?) I grabbed my purse, keys and water bottle from my bed, closed the door behind me and left for the office.

I pray there are no cats hiding under my bed.



So, how is your day going?

[taurusmoon]

God, apparently, has a wonderful sense of humor.


Just after hitting the Post button on this thread, alarm bells start going off in my office.

Fire drill.

We all are herded out, down several flights of stairs, out the lobby, onto the street.

Not such a bad thing since its a very pleasant day and the break was much appreciated.

Anyway, we all got the green light to return to our floors (boo, hiss) so I complied and made my way back.

Apparently, it is the job of the office Fire Warden to close the doors of all the private offices after everyone's evacuated.

I noticed the doors closed, puzzled over it for a split second, then understood the purpose.

With a chuckle I said to myself, "wouldn't it be a hoot if my door turned out to be locked?"

Guess what?

Fortunately, my office has a key.

The key was, conveniently, in my pants pocket.


The Fire Warden has no clue how my door came to be locked. It's nice when you and the Universe can share an inside joke.

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

[murasaki]

My locked out stories usually end with calling a locksmith.

[Redlass]

Drat! My post got lost.

Have you ever thought about writing suspense novels, Sara? You had me terrified. For some reason, I read the title and thought that someone had snuck into your room while you were getting your necklace and locked themself in so they could rob you while you tried to get back in.

The whole time I was reading your post, it was with terror--that you were about to say that someone jumped out at you or that you saw them going out the window as you finally got in.

I'm really, really glad that it was just you doing the breaking in. And hey, I needed to get my blood pressure up from its sluggish levels.

[theworm[$]]

Only you, Sara. Only you!

[taurusmoon]

I am so sorry, Bridgette. I didn't mean to scare anyone.

Fear not, if there was a burglar in my bedroom he would have to deal with the minefield of shoes. No way to make a clean escape.

[pippadaisy[$]]

I thought the same thing as Bridgette! Now that my blood pressure is up... LOL

I figured, though, that since you were posting, it had to have a happy ending. My gf did something similar 4 years ago, except that she locked herself in, and the doorknob wouldn't budge. She had no phone. She tried yelling out the window, but they live in a rural area, and no one heard her.

Petrified of missing an important meeting at work, she (and don't try this at home ) attempted to tie curling iron to blow dryer and rappel out the window.

She fell, broke her back and ankle, and had to DRAG HERSELF INTO THE HOUSE WITH A BROKEN BACK to call 9-1-1.

I have a ranch, but if I had a two-story house, I'd take my phone with me everywhere. I do take it with me to the basement.

[theworm[$]]

pippadaisy said

.

Petrified of missing an important meeting at work, she (and don't try this at home ) attempted to tie curling iron to blow dryer and rappel out the window.

this is a great example of how panic can cause temporary insanity. What made her think this would work is beyond me. A broken BACK!!! Oy! NO meeting at work is worth that!!! Is she ok now?

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

theworm said

this is a great example of how panic can cause temporary insanity. What made her think this would work is beyond me. A broken BACK!!! Oy! NO meeting at work is worth that!!! Is she ok now?

I agree. If you're going to rappel out the window, you use TOWELS, not hair care appliances.

[pippadaisy[$]]

LOL. She had no towels. As I pointed out, she would have been better off HANGING FROM THE WINDOW and then dropping (remember fire safety in grammar school?) because it reduces the height you are dropping from to only a little more than one story.

She was TOTALLY stressed at work, and her boss was gunning for her. She ended up in a body cast for something like 8 weeks then intense rehab... I remember Beanie and I went to see her (Beanie was about 6 months old and bedrest was still VERY fresh in my mind) with a pan of lasagna, shopping bag of magazines and puzzle books, and company. Here she was in this huge cast, another cast on her ankle, with a walker.

I should add in that she's an engineer. She did learn her lesson.

[theworm[$]]

poor thing!!!
Did her boss at least feel bad for her?

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

pippadaisy said

LOL. She had no towels. As I pointed out, she would have been better off HANGING FROM THE WINDOW and then dropping (remember fire safety in grammar school?)

Oh, now there's something I didn't think of - being trapped in the bathroom not from being locked in but because of fire. At the old place I shoulda had one of these:

[pippadaisy[$]]

theworm said

poor thing!!!
Did her boss at least feel bad for her?

No. She was the Wicked Bitch of the West.

[theworm[$]]

When I was a kid, we had one of those ladder things, but it wasn't built in - it could be "hung" off any window. The built in thing is probably better - but you'ld need one in every room.

[taurusmoon]

OMG Pippa! What a story!

What could possibly inspire her to rig up something like that?


There is one advantage to being locked in the bathroom. You don't have to worry about being stuck without a bathroom if you have to go.

[soxfan[$]]

Kudos for you for figuring out the knob, Sara. If it had been me, I'd still be locked out, hours and hours later.

[poseidon]

Oh groan!!!

I remember house-sitting (and dog-sitting) for a friend down in Colorado Springs several years ago. I dropped her off at the airport, got back to her house, and realized that her keys were left on her kitchen counter. Her car was inside her garage (which, of course, had the garage door opener in it). I had brought my dog with, and he was locked inside her house along with her dog (so, I can appreciate the 4-legged peeing machine comment).

Needless to say, I was dumbfounded as to how I was going to get into the house. I started calling locksmiths. They said that unless I could prove that I lived in the house or owned the house, I couldn't legally gain access into the house. I pleaded and pleaded with them, explaining about the dogs and how my friend would be out of town for a week, and how the dogs likely wouldn't survive the week without food, water, etc. Basically, they weren't interested.

After dialing a number of locksmiths, I finally found one who showed up before asking if I could prove that I needed to be there. When he arrived, he asked me if I could prove that I belonged inside the house. I said, "Yes, but this'll likely be a new version of proof."

I pointed to my dog, and said, "Here's the deal. My driver's license address will match the address on that dog's collar. You can come in with me. If that collar doesn't match the address on my driver's license, you are more than welcome to call the cops and have me arrested."

Needless to say, he thought it interesting and he allowed me back into my friend's house. It cost me $90 plus a whole lot of aggravation.

[jgibson2[$]]

Jeff,
You must have been doing some serious praying by the time you got to that last locksmith.

I used to lock myself out of my own house periodically. To the point that I made sure I had a key at a neighbor's house. Unfortunately, the last time I locked myself out, the neighbor who had the key wasn't home. I'd gone to walk the dog before going to work and locked my keys in the house. I was walking the dog, because my husband had taken the 2 older kids out of town for the weekend. I was about 8 months pregnant with the youngest, so no climbing in windows.

That shouldn't have been a problem, because we have a keypad on the garage to let ourselves in when we screw up and I hadn't locked the door between the garage and the house yet, because I was going to go out that way when I left for work. The battery in the keypad had died sometime after the last time I needed it.

I put the dog in her kennel and started making the rounds. 2 blocks away, I found someone home who could help me. She didn't have a key, but she did have a screwdriver -- and the keys to her car -- and enough money to buy a battery for my keypad at the hardware store.

Yes, she has a key to my house now too -- and I check that battery much more often than I used to.

[Joubert[$]]

You shoulda kicked in the door. Works in the movies.

And yes, I also thought you were robbed.

[jenninca]

Oy, Sara. What a day!

I once had to call off work because the door to my apartment wouldn't open. Try explaining that one to your boss. But I lived on the second floor and the only way out was to go out on the patio and jump. Yeah, right.

It was the first time anything had gone wrong in the apartment, so I didn't know how maintenance worked. The minute the office opened, I called and said, "I know I'm supposed to submit written notice of any repairs, but I don't think I can do that right now."

Then the maintenance guy showed up and kept telling me to unlock the door. It was unlocked. It wouldn't open. That was the problem.

But they got me out by 10 AM, so the rest of the day was a quite enjoyable unplanned vacation.

Cindy