Wake up and die already!

[wivabef]

Okay... I'm going to sound incredibly callous, here, but...would those people who are going to die just get it over and die already?

There is a phenomenon where I and other obituary/funeral home people believe that people who are old or terminally ill hold on through the holidays because they don't want to die during the holidays.

This trend starts at around Thanksgiving, I believe, because about a week after Thanksgiving, they start dropping like flies, it seems. I am all by myself at the Maryland Gazette now that the Capital, our sister paper, stole our wonderful Community News Editor. Granted, I got her job, but it is small comfort, as there is no one to be the Editorial Assistant. So, I am essentially doing in 30 hours what normally gets done in 70 hours.

It is not just the very old who are dying or the very ill, but sadly, the very young adults. On the cause of death field for the very young adults it is left blank. And there is no hospital as the place of death. There have already been too many times when I've called the funeral home to clarify and they say, "don't put this in the obituary, but he jumped off the bridge" or "shot himself in his truck" or "overdosed" ... I got two bridge jumpers.

So, here is this tragic life, and it is only a number for me... number 25 obituary... 4.5 inches long instead of the usual 6 inches because there is no place or cause of death ... no spouse... no job... a whisper of a life story, almost apologetic.

I think those are the most tragic... and yet, there story is tabu. I have 12 inches on the guy who loaded thoroughbred cargo gates on a container ship and was on many committees at this church.

Today, I sent to layout 160 inches of dead people... 25 people. And then, they just kept coming. When I left at 2 p.m. there were three more put in "condensed" mode... so that their services would be printed in time as we only publish Saturdays and Wednesdays.

I look back at the logs from years past and see the same trend. It should trickle down next week. I think people will try to hold on until the new year. Then, they will have lived as long as they needed to. What's next, after all? President's day? Taxes?

To those people hanging on, this morning I screamed "wake up and die already! You're not fooling anybody!"

But as each story was written I understood what kept them going. And, with the stories that remained unwritten, I understood what didn't keep them going.

[theworm[$]]

How sad. It must be hard to have to write all those obits. Happy lives, sad lives. It must get overwhelming.

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

I read that women tend to hang on to make it for "one more birthday" or "one more Christmas," but that men are more likely to die before the holiday - maybe the stress is too much for them.

[lynnzop[$]]

I noticed tonite while reading the paper that there were TWO PAGES of obits. There are usually only a single column.

One that struck me was a grandfather and grandson...it must have been a car accident, because I don't remember hearing about anything horrific.

[pippadaisy[$]]

TWO men I know died ON Christmas... one Christmas Eve. One Christmas Day. G's friend right after Thanksgiving with a raft of other people we knew. This time of year is horrible, both in terms of how it just seems to heap on with those who are already depressed and struggling.

[wivabef]

Yes.. this is a hard time of year... I almost think that if I knew I was going to die and it was, September... I'd will myself to get it over with so you wouldn't have that Holiday stigma.

[Magick1]

Lynn, I noticed the same thing in our papers, 2 pages full of obits. It tears me up when I see the little people listed.

Man, ever since having a baby, I tell you, I have got to be the biggest sap in the whole world. I instantly think, dang what if this were me dealing with this and get all teary eyed. Does that ever stop?

[Prepoia[$]]

Magick1 said

Lynn, I noticed the same thing in our papers, 2 pages full of obits. It tears me up when I see the little people listed.

Man, ever since having a baby, I tell you, I have got to be the biggest sap in the whole world. I instantly think, dang what if this were me dealing with this and get all teary eyed. Does that ever stop?

No, it never stops. It is a parent's worse nightmare. And it still feels the same no matter how old the child. I probably have kids your age and they are still my babies and I can't imagine life without either one of them.

[Helen_B[$]]

Got that right!