Body Modification.

[sycoticmind29[$]]

There are a lot of opinions of different body modifications going from hatred to complete obsession, all depending on the person and the type of modification. I happen to be one of the people that are completely fascinated by all of it, and I actually have a few mods myself, at the moment all piercings. So because all I have at the moment are piercings, that is what this particular post is going to be about, my piercings, I have four ear piercings all stretched to a larger than normal size, and one nipple piercing, still (and forever will be) at the standard 14 gauge size. I've taken some pictures for you all, so you know exactly what I mean by "stretched" just so we all know what I mean, these pictures are here:


The bottom hole is 3/4" and the top hole is about a 2 gauge, which translates to 1/4"


another picture, just so you all know, that is really my ear.

The jewelery in the bottom hole is made of a Dairy Queen straw wrapped in a LOT of electrical tape, the top hole, a part of a pen. I'll explain that later.

I got both of the piercings done at a 14 gauge which is normally what a tattoo shop/ piercing parlor will pierce your ears at unless you ask for something smaller, I had my friend pierce my ears, he did them with piercing needles (a new needle for each hole) with the same procedure done in a piercing shop, so this wasn't a result of boredom and a safety pin, I had them done right. Over a period of about 2 and a half years I have slowly stretched my ears, becoming more educated on the subject as time went on.

The jewelery in the bottom whole is made of what it is for the simple reason that it is the safest way to stretch a large gauge piercing without large risk to the piercing, every few weeks or so I add a few layers of the tape to the plug which slowly makes the hole bigger in a way that my ears can get used to it rather quickly. The top jewelery is part of a pen because it was something I had that was the right size and its very easy to remove and clean, and although I could wear store bought plugs, anything of decent quality at this size is quite pricey.

The two most frequent questions I get about my ears is if they hurt, and what I plan to do when I'm older. The answers aren't difficult, no they don't hurt and stretching them didn't and doesn't hurt, no piercing should really HURT if it is done properly, the actual piercing might hurt, and it might be sore for a few days, but nothing serious. As for my plans for the future, I want to keep my ears stretched, I'm at a point that even if I were to stop wearing the plugs, my ears would still show signs of being stretched, permanently, but that is a consequence I took into mind when stretching my ears. People automatically assume that with large gauge piercings I will never be able to get a good job, but its quite the opposite, for the most part, employers only really care about the piercings if you have to be face to face with customers or clients, but there are a lot of good jobs that you don't see the person you are doing the work for, and really, that's the kind of job I have in mind.

Body modifications are becoming more accepted as time goes on, some, such as tattoos, are even becoming almost mainstream. I hope that as time goes on acceptance will become more popular until eventually people only think of body modifications as what they are, a part of a persons body, and a part of their life.

Basically the point of this thread is to ask what are you're opinions on body modifications, any kind, from piercings to brandings and scarifications. If you have questions feel free to ask, I will do my best to answer or point you in the direction of someone who can. :]

[drmomentum[$]]

I'm interested in body modification purely out of curiosity. But personally, I'm not much interested in doing anything irreversible to myself, unless it were for the purpose of perhaps enhancing how my body functions. Irreversible decorative modifications don't interest me because:

- I like to be able to change my mind.
- I generally don't think they're attractive. (or would be on me, to be more precise)
- Whatever emotional compulsion people have to mark themselves, I don't have it (I know many people get tattoos and such for reasons other than the way they look)
- It would bug my wife
- It would introduce the possibility of damage or infection; even if that risk is small, if the motivation or rationale is nonexistent, I couldn't justify the risk.

All that said, a person's body is his or her own. People with body mods have a right to them and should not face discrimination. I don't judge.

On the other hand, I've never worked with a person who had body mods that were painful looking or really ugly. That might distract me until I got used to it, although I guess it would be my own problem. The tattoos some of my coworkers have are generally cool and/or attractive. Plus, young, good looking people can pull off a hell of a lot more than older people can.

It's possible that I don't understand the need to mark oneself because I see us all as already different when we're born. Some are more different than others, of course. Being born with an obvious birth defect, I got a healthy dose of different, and I saw how many people react to that. To the point where, even after having a blog for many years, I've never posted pictures or any discussion on the subject, I don't talk to my friends about it, I am fairly good at hiding/minimizing it. I'm clearly sensitive to it, even though if you asked me I'd say I'm not.

It's not that being different is bad, it's just that body modification raises the question "how different is different enough?" And I was born without the ability to unmake that non-decision. So I guess I felt I was different enough.

My guess is that people are not just motivated by a need to be different, but rather they feel empowered by taking control over what their own body looks like. That's something I dd not have the choice of in certain ways, determined while I was still forming. So my differences themselves were not empowering, because I did not choose them. And even the surgery my parents got for me to improve the situation, that was not my decision either.

I think it's interesting that the two questions you get the most are about whether it hurts and "what are you going to do when you get older." The first seems like an honest question, but the second is a somewhat insulting challenge, as if you hadn't thought about the future at all. I guess that's a part of being a young adult; many people will assume you never think about the future.

My questions would be more along the lines of "what motivated you to make the decision to create a permanent change in your body?" Also, how did you decide what sort of change? And, did it matter what sort of change it would be?

How did it make you feel when you first realized your body was going to be permanently changed? Was it closer to the feeling of empowerment I described above, or was it something else?

Is there something important about the fact that you continue to enhance this modification by enlarging it? Is there a specific goal in mind, or do you continue the modifications for the sake of some emotional reward that you revisit as the modification continues?

Don't feel you have to answer the questions; I didn't pose them in an effort to grill you, but rather to think aloud. If you wish, you can consider them rhetorical.

-JP

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

Hey, it's your ear, and I will fight to the death for your right to do whatever you want with your ear.

But at the same time,




ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!!!!

[thinkerlady[$]]

I agree with MJ--but I am curious Kareem--is the piercing, the hole getting larger?? or is it just that you are stretching your earlobe??? When you have stretched it to where you want it, will you wear a normal earring???

[Dory]

Hello. I'm Dory. You don't know me because I only seems to post here in sporadic spurts every six months or so. I saw your post and thought I'd comment.

I think you used the correct term "body modifications". That can encompass a lot of things, and like MJ said, it's YOUR ear. I think that about covers it for me. Body modifications can be anything really. I got braces and a jaw operation when I was younger. I got eye laser surgery two years ago. That is, in effect, modifying my body. Should anybody else have had an opinion on it? Seems almost ridiculous that they would.

For me, this is all the same as the abortion debate. I think that whomever's body that puppy is IN, is the only one who should have a say in what happens to it. (Is this getting too touchy? I hope not.)

On the other hand, I have to say that I am not too pro on the type of body modifications you are talking about, but I accept that it is something people like to do today. I'm 41 so I'm obviously over the hill in that department, but I just don't think they even look good or have a useful purpose. But the most important thing is that, as you said, they are basically permanent once stretched to a certain limit. You say that you are ok with that now, but I will strongly suggest that you may not always feel that way. I got a tattoo 20 years ago and I have regretted it for probably 15 years. Despite what I thought at the time, which was "I know who I am, and I will never change", I laugh hysterically over that now. Of course I changed. Greatly. And have become many different people over the last twenty years and have not wanted the tattoo for most of my life. When I say many different people, I don't mean split personalities, but growing older does bring out different goals and dreams, and in effect, new yous.

But that's just me. As I said before, I firmly believe you have the right to do whatever you want and I would defend that to the last. I am a business professional now, and dress and look like one most of the time. If I met you in business, I would think nothing differently of you, would have just as much respect for you and would work with you well to get the job done. As long as you respected me as much as I respect you, we would get along fabulously.

And I think that is all that matters. Don't you agree?

[mjfrombuffalo[$]]

I got braces and a jaw operation when I was younger.

Class 3 underbite? Bilateral intra-oral vertical ostheotomies of the mandible?

[mtomm[$]]

What? No nipple picture?

[thinkerlady[$]]

mtomm said

What? No nipple picture?

Margo,
Don't encourage him!!!!

[amykhar]

Weighing in as the mom. What gets me about some forms of body modifications is that they are in essence, irreversible. That's why I don't like to see kids doing things that are not easily removed. Having to have your earlobe cut off if you decide you don't want big holes any more is a pretty drastic thing in my book. Having some random chick's birthdate tattooed on a wrist is also not a well-thought-out decision. (Kareem didn't get the tattoo)

I think body modification is fine, as long as it can be reversed. Fashions and tastes change. The things that are appealing now on a young body won't be on an older body. There are future careers to consider as well. The thing about stretching the ears is that the ears look even worse when the jewelry isn't in them. There's no way to get a more professional or conservative look if the occasion demands it.

[phoenixx]

Tattoo junkie here. I've got three, so far, and am about to get one made more complex. I don't regret them for a minute, but I agonized over each one. It often takes me months or even years to decide I really want that artwork on my body, then draw it (I draw all of my work) and then get it done.

Because of the time spent making sure it has meaning for me, I'm happy with all of my artwork. I know people that aren't - they walked in and grabbed the first flash off the wall and slapped it somewhere. Now there is laser removal for that if you can afford it, but many can't.

I'm not into piercings, personally, aside from my ears having several holes each. It just isn't my thing. I don't mind what other people do though, however; I turned a guy out of my dating pool once for having an ayurvedic piercing (TMI, probably, sorry mom).

Some piercings I can't look at because they look painful (the corset lacing on the back that was/is popular for a while really skeeves me) but I'd never tell someone not to mod their bod if they want to. I will tell them tomake sure they can cover it up if they need to with clothing - younever know what life will bring.

You can see my tattoos on my Flickr page under the Body Art set.

[sycoticmind29[$]]

drmomentum said

My questions would be more along the lines of "what motivated you to make the decision to create a permanent change in your body?" Also, how did you decide what sort of change? And, did it matter what sort of change it would be?

How did it make you feel when you first realized your body was going to be permanently changed? Was it closer to the feeling of empowerment I described above, or was it something else?

Is there something important about the fact that you continue to enhance this modification by enlarging it? Is there a specific goal in mind, or do you continue the modifications for the sake of some emotional reward that you revisit as the modification continues?

-JP

I wanted my ears pierced forever but was never allowed to get it done, I wasn't allowed to get it done when I got it done, but what teenager doesn't break the rules every now and then? When I first got the piercings I wasn't planning on stretching at all, but I realized I didn't like the way they looked and that they would look good if they were stretched. My original goal was 00 gauge, which is the last size you can stretch to and have your ears close back to normal looking. I got to 00 but I still wasn't happy with the way they looked, so I decided to go bigger, at first when I was at 1/2" (the size I went to after 00) I just said to myself, eh, if I have funny looking earlobes when I take them out so be it, but when I started stretching again I had made up my mind, I'm going to keep stretching my ears until I think they look right, and if I can't get a job with them, than I don't want that job anyway, if I'm going to work somewhere, I want it to be somewhere I am accepted for who I am.

When I stretch my ears I get a sense of pride when I get to certain sizes, at the moment I am between 3/4" and 7/8" and I'm really excited to get to 7/8". I have no real goal anymore, I plan to stop stretching when I feel like they look the way they should. Overall having stretched earlobes makes me feel better about the way I look, I can't explain why, but they do, so I plan to keep stretching until I feel like I'm done.

thinkerlady said

I agree with MJ--but I am curious Kareem--is the piercing, the hole getting larger?? or is it just that you are stretching your earlobe??? When you have stretched it to where you want it, will you wear a normal earring???

Over time your earlobes will heal around your piercing and become "relaxed" meaning the actual hole heals enough that the jewelery in in isn't putting pressure on it anymore, basically, if you wear an earring long enough, your piercing will grow to a larger size. There are things that effect how much your ears relax around the ring, such as the size and weight of the ring, someone who wears large hoop earrings every day for a long time could easily put larger gauge jewelery in the piercing, because of the weight of the ring pulling against the ear lobe that it stretches. So what I'm doing is putting the jewelery in, letting my ears relax (which only takes about a week or two because of how little I'm stretching them) then adding a layer or two of tape, just enough that the jewelery is tightly in the hole. When I get to the size I want I will definitely wear real jewelery, but at the moment I'm not going to spend $30+ on jewelery that will be two small in a few weeks. I really don't like the way this jewelery looks, there is just too much electrical tape, so I'm trying to find something a little bigger than a DQ straw to put the tape on, just so there isn't so much.

[magenta321]

The deal with the jobs is a lot of people have the reaction of "ew, ew, ew" so I think you are limiting some of the jobs you can potentially have. Maybe you're passing up really cool jobs with really cool employers, but they're just worried that the customer will say "ew, ew, ew!"

I agree, it's your ear. It's all your body. You can dye, ink, pierce, alter, etc whatever you want to. It's your right. But people have a right to be creeped out by it.

Don't get me wrong, I have had more exotic piercings than you have admitted to here, and I completely support your right to express yourself as you see fit. But just know that some people won't see it the way you see it.

For myself, I regret my tattoo. I got it on my 18th birthday. It's not that I don't like what it is, it's that I don't like being tattooed very much. When I get naked, I will always have to wonder how whomever is looking at me is judging me for having a tattoo.

Maybe you'll always like your ear stretched, I don't know. Maybe you like it when "old" people look at you funny. Maybe the attention is nice when people ask you about it. Maybe you'll always like it. But, if you don't, you'll have big consequences to live with, which is sad to me.

BTW can you stretch the lower lobe over the top of your ear yet to do the cat thing? That freaks me out!!!

[theworm[$]]

I'm one of those "old folks". It's not my thing. Like the others here, I'll fight for people's rights to do what they want. That said, I don't understand it. I do get that the modern body modifications are no stranger than ear piercing. I have one hole in each ea - it's accepted - even considered normal. I never saw any studies, but I'd guess in this country more adult women have pierced ears than don't and plenty of men too. And why? What possesses us to punch a hole through a body part so we can hang some ornament there? It's actually quite odd, don't you think.

So why am I ok with pierced ears, but get all gooked out over pierced eyebrows? Maybe because they look so painful. Maybe because I view earrings as more of an accessory, and other facial jewelry as more of a statement. I really don't know.

I always thought nose rings were sort of cool, but they were an ethnic thing. Women from India or Africa wore them, and they were exotic and meaningful. Then all of a sudden cute blonde white girls were getting their nose's pierced and I kind of wondered why. Was is just a decoration or a statement or political?

Maybe Brian will post about tattoos. We don't have any, but he's spoken a lot about "the old days" when tattoos meant something different than they mean now. I'll ask him to post about that.

So, I think a lot of it is a generational thing, where now it's hip and young and cool to take that kind of control over your body. And I think that's fine. I guess I have 2 real concerns about it. The first is safety. If someone gets mods they should be smart enough to get them professionally done to control the risks of infections. I don't know if their is regulations over the artists (is that what they're called), but maybe their should be. The second concern is regarding fads. I think that I view body modification as a current fashion statement. Every single generation has fashion that makes the parents cringe. I wore some ugly crap in my day, and my mom was kind enough to let me buy really ugly shoes, because - so what, they're shoes. So if I had a kid who wanted a mohawk or to dye his/her hair blue, I might not like it, but I think (or hope) that I would say, so what - have fun. It's the stuff that they can't change when it's out of fashion that worries me. Some piercings will come out without scarring. Some won't. Stretching and tattoos are more or less permanent, and like your mom said - what we think we want forever, we sometimes grow out of. Fashion, our dream car, our dream career - all these things change over time - that's normal.

You obviously love your stretched lobes, and I'm glad that they make you happy. (I don't think you should have gotten piercings when your mom said not to, but that's another story). So, like MJ, I'll fight for the right to do what you want to your body, but I sort of say "ouch" when I see many mods - especially the eyebrow piercings!

[theworm[$]]

Oh - and another thing!
I'm enjoying this thread, Kareem!
I think you started a great post!!

[jgibson2[$]]

Even with the straw and tape, the ear basically looks like a big earring unless you look closely. I don't think people will react a lot more to it than to conventional ear piercings -- at first glance. I don't know what your intended jewelry set will look like. Will it draw more attention? Can you get different types of jewelry with more or less flash?

Some employers will discriminate for the reasons given, but I do believe that this is a generational thing and will probably improve with time. More and more people have body modifications and as body mods go, yours isn't one of the most drastic. Employers tend to want employees who work with the public to resemble their target audience. If the body mod fashion sticks around, many employers will change their attitude about the whole thing.

McDonald's already has changed their attitude -- likely because they find it hard to hire people for what they are offering. Not to say I think you'll end up working at McD's, but the point is that if they -- who deal with large portions of the public -- have accepted facial piercings, other employers will follow. If they can't get the people they need with their current approach, they'll have to change.

I don't go "ew" at most SINGLE or even double piercings. It's the people who have 4 and sometimes more rings/studs in their lips, one (or more) in their noses, and a couple in the eyebrow that I find hard to look in the eye. Literally. People who play with their tongue piercings are distracting, too. My local McD's has more than a couple of each. The young woman at Claires (I had an ear re-pierced this week) had a very tiny stud in her nose. It wasn't unattractive. I think proportion is important, and she has very delicate features. Someone with larger features could carry off a larger ornament.

[brian_igo]

Great posts, Kareem. I hope this doesn't come off as condescending, but the thoughtfulness of your posts belies the popular image of people who do this. That is our problem, not yours.

My feelings about body art has evolved over time. There's no polite way to put this. I have a lot of white trash in my family so I've seen tattoos around the Thanksgiving dinner table for as long as I can remember, and many years before anyone who wasn't in that group thought they were cool.

Back in those prehistoric times, you paid a price for having tattoos. Or riding a Harley, another favorite pastime in my clan. The guys in my family I'm talking about were as blue collar as you could get. Maintenance workers in factories, truck drivers, mechanics...and each of them that I know of had at least one time where they didn't get one of these jobs because of their tats or because they rode their bike to the interview.

There were a lot of things I didn't like about these uncles and cousins, but even when I was a kid I had a lot of respect for their commitment. This was who they were and if someone chose to judge them by this superficial and personal expression of who they were - they could go fuck themselves.

That is my reference point for body art. Flash forward fifteen years to the mid-80's, when tats (and Harley's) suddenly became the ne plus ultra fashion accessory for every yuppie douchebag in my generation. Yes, I was personally offended by the phenomenon. A tribal or barbed wire tat might as well be a rancher's brand for the way it labels you a mindless, soulless piece of anonymous livestock. It screams, "Look at me! I'm nothing!" A $20,000 Harley that you get out on the weekends and go play dressup badass with your other fellow high achievers is an even bigger joke. This is the same ignorant, clique-obsessed narccisim that drives sane people to thoughts of homicide in high school, only these tools are old enough to know better. Or damned well should be.

(The same goes for middle-aged men deciding to get their ear pieced, with the single exception of the late Ed Bradley from 60 Minutes. He could pull it off.)

Yeah, I was a bitter man for most of the 90's. I had friends with tats that I liked because they said something about them, but they were the exception. I never had that moment of eureka so I remain uninked. But for most, tats and piercings were just something else they did in the endless attempt to get laid and look cool to their equally clueless peers.

Not long after I think tattoos and stuff like tongue piercings moved from being rebellion to being some kind of generational identification. It wasn't about being cool or tough any more, if you were in that group it was just part of being who you were. The commodification of body art was complete.

Then, in the mid-90's when I was living in Phoenix, I started to hear about people going beyond the usual piercings and tattoos. I first heard about branding probably in '94 and I saw the first stretch and genital piercings not long after.

What I noticed is that it caused the same kind of reaction my uncles and cousins had endured 25 years earlier, and I liked that. Not because it caused civilized people to wince a little or because someone had made it cool again - I could care less about that. Maybe "like" is the wrong word. Yeah, it is. I respected people who liked it enough to pay the price that comes with it. It's not for me, but I respect your integrity and willingness to honor who you are.

The only jobs it will stop you from getting are the jobs that would crush your soul and drive you insane. but I think you already knew that.

[magenta321]

I don't know what "kids these days" think about tongue piercings, but, in my day, those had a lot to do with sex... in the way that wearing a low-cut shirt or a really super short skirt would. Only, in a much "naughtier" way...

[jgibson2[$]]

magenta321 said

I don't know what "kids these days" think about tongue piercings, but, in my day, those had a lot to do with sex... in the way that wearing a low-cut shirt or a really super short skirt would. Only, in a much "naughtier" way...

I don't think that's changed - at least not from what one co-worker has told me which was basically TMI.

[Helen_B[$]]

Eeeew. Eeew, eeew.