Before I left for vacation to British Columbia, I filed this story.
The Jonas Brothers and the Geneva Convention
By ELYZABETH MARCUSSEN Community News Editor
EDITOR'S NOTE: Mothers of tweens unite! Elyzabeth Marcussen dared the First Mariner Arena in Baltimore Wednesday to see the Jonas Brothers with her young daughters. Here's her story.
One day in June, my 12-year-old daughter, Haley, tore up the stairs from the basement where she had been watching the Disney Channel and breathlessly announced:
"Mom! Mom! The Jonas Brothers are coming to Baltimore at a marina!"
No, the Jonas Brothers are not sailors with a love for the Inner Harbor. What she meant to say was that the Jonas Brothers, three talented brothers from New Jersey who are on the top of the pop charts, would be playing at the First Mariner Arena.
After consulting my husband, we decided that we would purchase tickets to the concert and take the girls. Actually, he laughed at the suggestion that it would be a daddy-daughter day and I was assigned to the task.
Haley ran around the house several times, shouting on a loop, "We're going to see the Jonas Brothers! We're going to see the Jonas Brothers!"
My 9-year-old, Gretchen, said, "Sweet." Forgive her, Jonas Brothers. She still likes the "Littlest Pet Shop."
The last big venue concert I had attended was to see Sting play at the Hartford Civic Center back in 1990. My husband, who worked at a local radio station, had scored floor seats. I had never had floor seats before. When Sting came out on the stage, everybody stood up. That caused people behind them to stand on folding chairs. Here we all were, with these prime tickets, standing on chairs. As making people stand on chairs for two hours is against the Geneva Convention, we left.
Even as a girl, I had never been to a teen-idol concert. When I was my daughters' age, I had Tiger Beat crushes on the less famous brothers of teen idols: Jimmy Osmond and Shawn Cassidy. In high school, I favored punk rock shows, happily jumping into mosh pits with a lot of guys. No Journey lover, here.
Nothing prepared me for the primal screams I experienced at Wednesday's concert in Baltimore. It appears that girls between the ages of 8 and 18 have the innate ability to produce a blood-curdling scream that, had it been discovered in 1776, would have sent the British running back to the fleet, rendering thousands of historical road markers useless.
This scream is on a hair-trigger. When the marquee in the lobby flashed "6:00 p.m.," the time the arena personnel were supposed to let us in, the crowd pierced the atmosphere with this scream.
The young man selling V-Cast ring tones turned on a microphone and said, "Hello!" They screamed.
The crowd began to move forward. They screamed.
I dove into my camera bag and pulled out a plastic bag filled with orange foam earplugs. I was instantly the most popular adult among my peers. "Do you have any spares?" one mother asked unabashedly. As I handed them to her, others leaned in.I handed out pairs to open hands, like communion wafers.
We were, after all, kindred souls caught up in a mass of sweating, twittering girls wearing hand-painted T-shirts professing their undying love for Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas.
As a parent, there was absolutely nothing objectionable about the performance. They are three young men, ranging from 15 to 21, who wear on their wedding finger purity rings that symbolize their vow to abstain from sex until their wedding day. Their lyrics are innocuous, and there is no bump and grind or innuendo.
Indeed, the brothers are very talented, and the show sports plenty of pyrotechnics and rock star guitar antics, including the dervish swirling of the eldest, Kevin, while he played his guitar.
For the most part, the screaming girl-mass was made up of modestly-dressed, insanely happy fans who appreciate the wholesomeness of the trio. It reminded me very much of Donny Osmond fans.
I was confident that if my daughters ever bumped into "\<3" (text for "Jonas Brothers") IRL (text for "in real life"), I wouldn't have to worry about having to explain a grandchild with impossibly adorable dark brown curly hair down the road.
There was, however, one girl who would no doubt cut the sideburns off poor Kevin like Delilah did to Samson.
Every time the opening act, Disney star Demi Lovato, started another song, she would shout, "We want the Jonas Brothers!"
When the Jonas Brothers featured the eight young female string musicians, who treated us to a performance of "Allegretto" by composer Karl Jenkins, she groaned.
Here's the piece de resistance: In the middle of the concert, the stage went dark. At first, the girl whined that the music had stopped and the brothers had left the stage. Then, the three giant screens flashed a video of Nick Jonas, the youngest of the brothers, describing a life-changing moment: when he was diagnosed with type I diabetes.
It was a poignant moment, and remarkable that a 15-year-old can be so composed and brave enough to share this experience of having a disease that can take his life.
"I love you, Nick!" she said. "Diabetes is so hot!"
What? Did she really just say that? I don't even think Paris Hilton would say that. No, wait. She would.
So, I survived my first teen idol concert. At the age of 44.
Would I do it again? Sure. As long as the performance was as squeaky clean.
Besides, I still have plenty of ear plugs.
Nice take.
(but Paris Hilton not so much)
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