Memos from work...

[eris esoteric]

Copy and paste of actual memo left for boss (names deleted)

Guest issue: Room 504,

Guests returned to hotel around 2:30am.

Guests called FD to request rollaway. Informed guest that rollaway was not going to fit in the room. Guest requested extra pillows. FD told guest pillows would be delivered.

Guests called FD to request 6am wakeup call. 6am wakeup call confirmed by front desk.

Guest called FD to request transfer to room of “xxxx xxxxxxx.” FD transferred called.

Guest called FD to request transfer to room of “Willie Fingerbottom.” FD told guest to have a good night, and terminated phone call.

Guest called FD to request 6:30am wakeup call. FD inquired as to whether guest wanted this in addition to 6am wakeup call, or whether guest wanted this in addition to 6am wakeup call. Guest seemed to be unaware of the fact that he had called previously to request a wakeup call.

FD sent Engineering to room 504 to speak to them firmly about proper use of the phone, and to deliver pillows.

FD took well-deserved break. Engineering covered phones for 10 minutes.

Guest called Engineering to request a rollaway. Engineering informed guest that rollaway would not fit in room.

Guest called Engineering to request a 6:30 wakeup call. (FD returned to front desk at this point) Engineering reminded guest that they had already requested a wakeup call. Guest requested a rollaway. Engineering reminded guest that rollaway would not fit in room. Engineering then enquired about the health of occupants of the room. When guest asked why Engineering was asking these questions, Engineering expressed concern that guest was not able to remember for 5 consecutive minutes that guest had requested wake up call and rollaway. Engineering informed guest that if anyone in the room was feeling unwell, Hotel would be more than happy to call emergency services for them. Guest declined this offer. Guest asked for a rollaway. Engineering repeated offer of emergency services. Engineering inquired as to guest’s desire to have Security go up and check on guest’s health and well-being. Guest declined. Guest requested a 6:30 wakeup call. Engineering reminded guest that wakeup call had already been requested. Engineering emphatically offered to send Security and emergency services to room. Guest declined and terminated call.

Guest answered 6:30 wakeup call. Set second wakeup call at 6:40 because guest had emphasized importance of wakeup call repeatedly. Guest answered second wakeup call and left phone off hook. Resisted temptation to send Engineering to guest's room for third "good luck" wakeup.

[hadassahchana[$]]

Ok...explain to me again why they won't give you that Taser?


Cindy

[eris esoteric]

You SEE?

[emeleel]

Forget the Taser - just wire the phone system with a few volts.

[emeleel]

Oooo - or you could try this one from the Car Talk practical jokes page you posted:

Got any enemies? All you need to make their lives miserable is a roll of lifesavers and access to their shower. Just take off the shower head (it should unscrew fairly easily) and place a lifesaver or two inside the showerhead. Screw it back on. Voila! After every shower for the next week or two, your counterpart will feel really sticky. Of course, what's the best thing to do when you feel sticky? Why, take another shower, of course...

[eris esoteric]

OK, see, this would probably be the definition of "being a bad influence" on me, Melanie...

[emeleel]

Who, meeeee?

[pippadaisy[$]]

I would have sent Security. With a Taser.

[murasaki]

Were they drunk?

[mtbat]

This is why I'm glad we don't offer rollaways.

I really enjoy busy summers and dot.com guests who show up with 3 extra adults and get a buisness suite with one king bed and one chaise lounge chair. I remind them that they are guarenteed a room, not a room type, offer a few extra pillows and blankets then charge them for every adult over the first two in the room.

[slick4591[$]]

So why didn't they get the rollaway?

[Prepoia[$]]

Good question, Slick! I think you should just call and ask the front desk.


S