What I'd really like to do

[hadassahchana[$]]

I would just love to translate business communications into English.

Look at this line from a job ad on monster.com:

"* Ability to work with multiple personalities."

Uh, would those be mine, or yours?


I'm sure I'll find more to post, and I know you guys will, too.

[hadassahchana[$]]

How about this, in the "inspires client by level of professionalism" dept.:

" Account Managers are responsible for representing our clients by build rapport and give verbal presentations."

Applicant must be able to speak good, I presume?

[hadassahchana[$]]

I could never make up these kinds of stories:

"To get started on a rewarding part-time teaching career,...call us at 1-800-822-1319 and ask for a Axia College faculty recruiter."

Bolding mine. Incorrect article, theirs.

[pippadaisy[$]]

For whom are you job hunting?

[hadassahchana[$]]

§ Record of achievement illustrating strong Goal Orientation

§ Display of highest levels of Integrity and Intelligence

§ Ability to multi-task, and to succeed within strict deadlines

§ Exceptional social and Customer focus skills

§ Strong Detail orientation and capability to be Highly organized

§ Persuasive Communication skills

§ Proven ability to interact effectively with students, staff and faculty

§ Displaying heavy telephone & interviewing skills.


Another requirement they forgot to list: the ability to Randomly capitalize letters Which do not Need to be Capitalized.

The job title is 'admissions representative' for a college. The employer info:

Kaplan Higher Education

A Washington Post Company

[pippadaisy[$]]

LOL. First thing I noticed was the random caps. What is UP with that?

[Joubert[$]]

Kaplan is a money mill. It's the highest margin business unit at the Post. They do one thing well -- they teach to standardized testing. And their pay scale is slightly better than a fast food joint's.