Interactive Writing Exercise - Page 2

**tpierzina**[$] · #41 03-21-2002, 04:57 PM

You all have no idea how scared I was after submitting this. I know more than a few of you are professional writers, and all of you are at least very good writers. Me, I'm just a schmuck with a gambling problem (albeit, one that's almost five years in remission).

Quote:

I liked the beginning of Todd's story. I hope he will tell me where he found a five-dollar craps table with only two bettors. In Atlantic City, if you can find them at all, they're packed solid.

Hymie, you need to go when normal, healthy people are asleep, or preferably, at work. In Atlantic City you'd probably be hard-pressed to find an open $5 table anytime, but try the wee hours of the morning or weekday afternoons.

Quote:

I found myself wanting to shout at him and push him back off the boat, or at least to steal his money and run it home to his family.

Lass, that's what I was going for. I've not actualy been in this exact position--when I last gambled I had plenty to lose (fiance, job, life), but no family depending on me. I was finally able to stop by realizing what my future might hold for me if I stopped placing bets. Now, my future is here and god, I don't want to lose it.

Actually, as I reread that, I realize I'm not being fully honest. I don't know exactly why I stopped. I tried for several years, but for some reason the last time worked. And it is the last time--if I ever go back, I fear there is only one possible outcome. No, I know it.

Quote:

Now, Todd -- you're not trying to tell us anything with that extra unborn child, are you?

Eye, not 100%, no, but we're not exactly taking steps to prevent another one. Unless, of course, you count a five-month old baby in the house as contraception.

Quote:

Seriously, you did a great job of walking that tightrope between the excitement of an addiction and the deepseated knowledge of its folly.

Eye, that's the killer, isn't it? We know it's folly, in some cases fatal. Yet, the excitement, the action....

Nothing in life feels exactly like pressing a bet a little too high and finally winning it. Especially at the craps table, when a hot roll makes everything except the felt, dice and chips fade away.

But what I'm still learning is that though nothing feels exactly like that, there are so many things that are better: Jackson's smile; self-confidence based on something other than the size and color of chips in front of you; the Cubs winning the World Series.

Okay, so that last one is not realistic.

)

theeye · #42 03-21-2002, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tpierzina
You all have no idea how scared I was after submitting this. I know more than a few of you are professional writers, and all of you are at least very good writers. Me, I'm just a schmuck with a gambling problem (albeit, one that's almost five years in remission).

From where I'm sitting you're a schmuck with a gambling problem in remission and a very nice way with words.

Wait a minute -- that didn't come out quite the way I meant it.

Quote:

Hymie, you need to go when normal, healthy people are asleep, or preferably, at work.

Oy. Hymie is very familiar with the wee hours at AC. Though he hasn't been there since the Poopster was born and he has been 100% compliant with the "no going to the cash machine behind my back" rule any time we have gone. We mostly play poker when we've gone, though he does have a taste for the craps tables that rather frightens me.

Quote:

Nothing in life feels exactly like pressing a bet a little too high and finally winning it. Especially at the craps table, when a hot roll makes everything except the felt, dice and chips fade away.

But what I'm still learning is that though nothing feels exactly like that, there are so many things that are better: Jackson's smile; self-confidence based on something other than the size and color of chips in front of you; the Cubs winning the World Series.

Looks to me like you've got a lot of reasons for some major self-confidence and pride.

You done good, Todd.

phoenixx · #43 03-21-2002, 05:09 PM

:happy:

Not only a talented writer but a strong person as well...

Good for you!

Leslie

**drmomentum**[$] · #44 03-21-2002, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tpierzina
I'm not a writer[...]

You fooled this reader. What a great job!

With a start like that, I'll definitely be following this story.

-JP

theeye · #45 03-21-2002, 06:13 PM

Ok, is anyone else on the edge of their seat? I can't wait to find out what happens. Does he lose his shirt? Does he win big? Does he lose his shirt and his family? Does he win big and lose his family anyway? Does he save himself at the last minute?

Deal me in. I'm hooked.

**AuntieEmma**[$] · #46 03-21-2002, 06:36 PM

Todd, that was great -- a lot of fun to work with.

Glad to hear about your five years gambling-free.

Well, I had to do a quickie here, and I looked at the site about craps -- ack, what a complicated game -- no time to figure it out, so I fudged that part, but this is fiction, right, so you'll just have to use your imaginations. Heh.

theeye · #47 03-21-2002, 06:50 PM

Oh, man -- now the suspense is really killing me! The secret that would change all of their lives...

Em -- I simply cannot believe how quickly you turned that around! That's extraordinary. Wonderful job! Caught the feel of the first chapter and subtly led it around to a new direction.

And now my good friend Cheryl is up. Will she reveal the secret? Or plunge us deeper into intrigue?

Redlass · #48 03-21-2002, 06:50 PM

Great addition, AuntieEmma! You really carried on the mood--and increased the suspense. I can't wait to see what's going to happen to this guy.

Cldplay · #49 03-29-2002, 11:34 AM

is now posted! (Phew, glad that's over with.

)

phoenixx · #50 03-29-2002, 11:47 AM

Well, I guess I'm up. You have all been excellent, and will be a hard act to follow, so I will probably take most of my week's time.

Look for Part IV soon...

Leslie

Redlass · #51 03-29-2002, 03:15 PM

OK, slight change in plans. With Uncle Sam tapping David to head to points far east, we'll need to take him out of the line-up. So we'll wish him the best, send him copies of the completed story and carry on with this schedule:

tpierzina
Auntiemma
Cldplay
phoenixx
file13
redlass
hadassahchana
soxfan
dani257
quasar

Now, I'm off to read Cheryl's entry--can't wait to see what happens next.

phoenixx · #52 03-29-2002, 03:57 PM

Oh, I'm bummed - if David is interested in moving up or switching maybe we could do that instead? I was looking forward to all the participants' entries...

Redlass · #53 03-29-2002, 04:05 PM

I'd certainly be open to that, but I also wouldn't want to take any time away from his family. He must have a ton of things to do to prepare to move on such short notice.

We'll just have to make sure we do more than one of these stories so he can join us after his return.

Grouch · #54 03-29-2002, 04:17 PM

Fellow Collaborators (or "Co-labs," as it were):

As I mentioned to Bridgette in a PM, it's with the deepest regret I must withdraw (gah! Now I'm sounding like Edmund Muskie!). I really was looking forward to participating and flexing the muscles of my Muse (she's gotten so flabby lately, despite the membership I recently bought her for Club Head).

However, there are a few other writing projects I must wrap up in the coming days, not mention beginning the packing preparations, not to mention stockpiling six months' worth of family hugs and cuddles. Thus, I have to bow out.

I do look forward to reading the finished story, however (B has promised to print it out and send it to me once the last period has been typed). I'm sure it will give me hours of pleasurable reading, wherever I might be.

With affection,
Co-Lab #10

Dani257 · #55 03-29-2002, 04:45 PM

I was wondering if a pm could be sent when it's my turn? I'm notorious about forgeting things. Thanks.

Redlass · #56 03-29-2002, 04:48 PM

Sure. I'll make myself a note to remind you.

Now, if I can just figure out where to put the note so that I'll find it...

theeye · #57 03-30-2002, 09:35 PM

How delightful -- I make it back on-line just in time to read Cheryl's offering from the long-suffering (and co-dependant) wife's point of view. Can Greg possibly escape the hand of fate now? Things seem awfully grim. . .

**tpierzina**[$] · #58 04-01-2002, 01:46 PM

Wow, that hit close to home. Very well done, it actually made my stomach hurt to read it.

Redlass · #59 04-01-2002, 01:50 PM

Cheryl:
That was great! I love the texture you added to the story and how you developed the plot.

I also rather liked the format! I caught myself trying to stage the action and figure out the blocking.

Very well written!

Cldplay · #60 04-01-2002, 04:35 PM

Your comments are especially appreciated, Tpierzina, since you introduced us (me, at least) to this fascinating -- and disturbing -- world.

**soxfan**[$] · #61 04-01-2002, 06:28 PM

Wow, just caught up on this. Great submissions, all three of you. :thumbs:

Ailsa

phoenixx · #62 04-04-2002, 06:28 PM

OK - Of course when it was my turn to enjoy my social writing experience, work got in the way of my social life....

I should be able to finish this tonight and tomorrow and have my section up by tomorrow night.

Sorry to take the full time...

Leslie

**tpierzina**[$] · #63 04-05-2002, 02:11 PM

Amazing. Simply amazing.