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03-29-2003, 02:51 PM
|  | Forum Code Administrator | | Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: PA
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| | Help with Sentence Structure Fast Please! | |
I have a long list of elementary schools. Each of them have "Elementary School" as part of their name. I think saying 10th and Green Elementary School, Amanda Stoudt Elementary School, Glenside Elementary School.... sounds bad.
So, I was thinking more along the lines of :
Amanda Stoudt, Tyson Schoener, Riverside, 10th and Green, Thomas Ford, 12th and Marion, Milmont, Glenside, and 13th and Green Elementary Schools ...
but, what do I do about the "Elementary Schools" part? Caps? No caps? Punctuation between? Somebody please give this grammar idiot a real quick clue!
Thanks,
Amy
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03-29-2003, 02:52 PM
|  | In Spanish, I'm Marijuana | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Lawn-Guy-Land, NY
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Looks good the way you have it. keep Elementary Schools capitalized because it's part of the schools' names. The commas look fine.
mj
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MJ
It's extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can't find $25 billion dollars to save 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases.~ Bono |
03-29-2003, 02:57 PM
|  | Epinions Members | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Buffalo, NY, U.S.A.
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It's hard to know without knowing the context, but perhaps something along the lines of the following would be best.
. . . these elementary schools: Amanda Stoudt; Tyson Schoener; Riverside; 10th and Green; Thomas Ford; 12th and Marion; Milmont; Glenside; and 13th and Green. |
03-29-2003, 02:59 PM
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Thank you Peter. That is indeed much clearer. 
Amy
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03-29-2003, 03:58 PM
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Yeah -- what Peter said.
(I'm still getting pansies.) |
03-29-2003, 10:58 PM
|  | Hot Lips | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: I'm not sure
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You can also keep it the way you had it, and simply at the article 'the' at the beginning.
Angie
7th Grade Grammar Guru
.. the Amanda Stoudt, Tyson Schoener, Riverside, 10th and Green, Thomas Ford, 12th and Marion, Milmont, Glenside, and 13th and Green Elementary Schools ...
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03-29-2003, 11:08 PM
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Too late now  It's in the hands of the editor. I doubt it will be a story on the paper's web version tomorrow, but if it is, I'll link it. It was my longest story yet.
Amy
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03-30-2003, 08:00 AM
| | In Spanish, I'm Marijuana | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Lawn-Guy-Land, NY
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Amy, it's my experience that the longer the article and the more work and hours and sweat and blood you put into it, the more likely it is for the editor to trim it to one-tenth its length or decide not to run it altogether 
mj
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MJ
It's extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can't find $25 billion dollars to save 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases.~ Bono |
03-30-2003, 11:01 AM
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Quote:
MJ said in post #8 :
Amy, it's my experience that the longer the article and the more work and hours and sweat and blood you put into it, the more likely it is for the editor to trim it to one-tenth its length or decide not to run it altogether
mj | Yep, the editor really hacked it and messed up one fact: http://www.readingeagle.com/re/news/1106198.asp
Amy
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03-30-2003, 11:08 AM
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:thumbs:
(hey, if you get to vote at school meetings, vote in favor of a new school, not the k-3 schools. Studies show that kids (but esp. girls) do much better the less they change schools. Districts that have kids changing schools less have higher test scores than ones that have a lot of schools that the kids only go to for a few years) |
03-30-2003, 03:46 PM
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Glad I could help, Amy, although I should have asked the most important question: Are you being paid by the word?
What is the fact the editor messed up? |
03-30-2003, 04:12 PM
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Peter, I am paid a flat fee per meeting. The editor messed up the fact that the more expensive plan calls for 6 new elementary schools not 4 like the other option.
Amy
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