Mixed metaphors

[Redlass]

What are some of your favorite mixed metaphors?

The managing editor of our department likes to collect them. I'll have to grill him on some of his favorites, 'cause my memory is too short to recall any of them.

There was one that I used to use all the time (until I started to be more careful of my speech): "We'll be up a creek without a ladder."

[eplovejoy]

My former boss loves to say about someone he thinks is not very bright, "The lights are on, but no one's listening." And he doesn't do it on purpose.

[rich2003dm]

You've buttered your bread, and now you've got to sleep in it!

That one always leave people scratching their heads.

Rich

[Redlass]

How about:

"Don't get caught in the cookie jar with your pants down."

[juliette]

It's all just water under the dam, now.

[sylvanb]

I wouldn't touch that with a silver platter.

Moreover, you couldn't hand it to me on a ten foot pole.

[Redlass]

Our former CEO used to tell us that we needed to grab the bull by the horns and milk it for all it was worth.

[proeditor]

I worked with a Dutch guy once, and he was constantly confusing English sayings. Hope this doesn't offend anyone, but we all died laughing when he said it in a business meeting:

"Let me just put my balls on the table."

He had heard "putting all my cards on the table" and loved the idea of someone "having the balls" to do something, so he untentionally thought this was the right metaphor. What a visual!