Writing greeting cards

[AuntieEmma[$]]

In the quest for freelance writing opportunities that are not illegal (or immoral or, providing you don't snack while writing, fattening), I thought I'd throw this one out.

The good news is that when you sell a five-word slogan for a post-it note pad for $75, you can say, "Wheee! I just made $15 a word!" The bad news is that you have to send a lot of stuff out in order to sell anything.

This is something I did eons ago. Eventually, I started to feel that I'd rather choke on a piece of cake than have to think of one more funny thing that I could say about birthdays. So I don't think it's a super long-term project. But I did have fun with it for a few years.

Best thing to do is to take a look at Writers Market and contact all the greeting card companies listed there and ask for their guidelines. Back in the old days, that meant sending out self-addressed stamped envelopes. Maybe people take email queries now. I don't know; I haven't been keeping up with this, but that would make it pretty easy.

I had the best luck with the mid-level companies. On the big end, I never got in to Hallmark or American Greetings, and on the super-small end, the people running one-person companies out of their basements, there were too many flakes. I thought the best company by far to work with was Oatmeal. (Oops, I just gave away a competitive secret -- which might matter if I ever decide to do this again and/or if they are still in business, which actually, come to think of it, I think they are.)

Some companies give you byline credit on the back of the card (and sometimes they even spell your name right!) and most of them send you samples of your stuff. Some of it isn't terribly useful (how many graduation cards does one person need?), some of it is too embarrassing to keep (I did some stuff for the rude button companies), but some of it comes in handy (post-it notes, all-occasion cards), and it's cool to see the artwork that they do.

So there ya go. One totally legal and moral freelance writing gig that won't get you rich but will pay you more than Epinions does these days.

[kurt_messick]

I had a friend who used to work for Hallmark. She said that at first it was the best job in the world.

By the end, three years later, she felt she was trapped in the unrelenting, cheerful Twilight Zone.